Scenes in films that are so illogical it really grates.

[Yetmorebeanstocount]

Eat Pray Love.
The two women have just discussed eating, muffin-tops, body image, etc, and Julia Roberts says to enjoy the pizza and just buy bigger jeans.

So in the next scene they are buying jeans, but doing that stereotypical-joke thing of lying on the changing room floor trying to pull up the zip on too-tight jeans.
Why? - that totally defeats the object.

I guess the male writer/director thought it would be a fun scene, that is how he imagines women always shop for jeans.
It just makes no sense in the context of the film.

What scenes really annoy you?

What bothers me most about The Holiday (apart from Cameron Diaz's driving (it doesn't seem to occur to her to ease up on the accelerator at all!) is the way they whip up that celebration of the script writer's life in about 4 days, and then it's even held between Christmas and New Year?! They wouldn't even have time to send out the bloody invites, never mind have that many people so lacking in other commitments they can rock up with half a day's notice.

This! How are all these women <ahem> ready for sex? We're not constantly wet guys!

Families where noone looks like anyone else. Parents with blue eyes and fair hair and children dark hair, brown eyes or siblings utterly different. Mothers and daughters that are completely different build, face shape, colouring.

Any American movie where an estranged partner or unexpected guest sleeps on the sofa or a laundry room in a huge house where there will clearly be empty bedrooms .

Well this is true, weird accents are a thing in Hollywood - the weirdest ones was in The House of Gucci - a whole collection of shitty Italian accents, from Mario brothers to American, all within one family ))

I'd rather have a true America accent than a fake accent, they are terrible...

And they walk from the south coast to Nottingham via Hadrian's Wall!

@SnugglyJumpersMakeItBetter

What bothers me most about The Holiday (apart from Cameron Diaz's driving (it doesn't seem to occur to her to ease up on the accelerator at all!) is the way they whip up that celebration of the script writer's life in about 4 days, and then it's even held between Christmas and New Year?! They wouldn't even have time to send out the bloody invites, never mind have that many people so lacking in other commitments they can rock up with half a day's notice.

You've made me think of some more from The Holiday.

That guy - the elderly man next door- is so mobile that he is just wandering around and says to Kate Winslett do you know where I live? but then he's fine and really quite mentally with it for the film and his lack of mobility is ramped up so that she then has to miraculously heal him with her exercise sessions in the pool. Someone with mobility problems like that wouldn't be wandering around the neighbourhood in the first place and then couldn't be 'cured' by a few exercises in the pool. & it's very unpleasant to hint he has dementia just because he's old and can't find his house but then in fact discard that as a plot point as it's just untrue.

And supposedly he was all abandoned and friendless living this sad widowed life in his home all alone but then five minutes later he's got all these interesting old mates having dinner with him round Kate Winslett's gaff.

Jack Black and that mags/megs gf of his. As if. and like he wouldn't have realised way earlier he was being dicked around.

the line from Diaz 'and that's why they pay me the big bucks'. urgh.

the fact that she is told the car cant get through to Iris's cottage when she arrives but she's picked up from outside hte front door when she leaves.

also that bit when she chooses to jump out the car at the end and runs to meet Jude law in sky high heels when obviously the car would be quicker and safer.

Basically all of Apocalypto - all of the dates are screwed up, I'm not even going to list it. Also, Braveheart - fake history... I can see a common theme here

Mamma Mia - 3 shags in 1 Summer, gives birth, then no men for 20 years

Ach this drives me SPARE 🤬😤😖😡

Robin Hood Princes of Thieves does it for me!

Robin and his mate land in Dover but they need to get to his castle in Nottingham so they walk, (which is bizarre in itself) well somehow they manage to get lost and end up in Northumberland?? (the famous tree shot) and finally make it to Notts! Plus remarkably they do it in a day and whilst they are at the famous tree (RIP) they help a kid out but that kid actually lives with his Mum and Dad back in Notts so how does he get back to notts so quickly too

Now obviously I know it’s all supposed to be roughly the same area but as I know both Northumberland and Nottingham well this somehow pushes me over the edge

I still do think it’s one of the better Robin Hoods despite being cheesy but the geography needed to be better planned for local viewers, you can’t walk from Dover up to Northumberland and back down to Notts in what appears to be one day!!!!!

Regarding realistic birth, I think the only realistic one I've seen was in the Sharpe series, when a labouring woman in allowed to birth on all fours. The soldier helping her through it explains that with animals you let them give Beth however they want so he assumed humans were the same.

It was in my mind when I was in labour 😂

The massive house bit is the whole of Midsomer Murders to a T!

Plus the way people keep moving to the county despite the murder rate there. Hell, even the real estate agents and undertakers (who have guaranteed income, which would be a temptation) get bumped off!

Sorry if I've missed someone saying this but I hate scenes where the hero has a massive fight where he gets punched multiple times and is unaffected and keeps getting up again. Then once he's somewhere safe he sits there with a beautiful woman dabbing at his injuries with a wet hanky and suddenly it's really painful and he winces. Aaarrrgghhh, it's so annoying!

It's also the lack of imagination that winds me up - with all these scenes that are illogical cliches - why do they keep doing them over and over? Why wouldn't a director be embarrassed to just copy every other film ever made instead of doing it differently or making it more realistic?

The house thing also does my nut in. Amelie is a waitress but has a fantastic flat in Montmartre TO HERSELF. And in the film This Year's Love, which I hated, everyone has an amazing London flat. one of them works as a cleaner at Heathrow! She would NOT live in a fancy flat in fucking Bloomsbury!

Excellent!

Not film or tv, but I was reading the most recent Outlander book a couple of weeks ago, and there’s a particularly good and realistic birth scene in that. Placenta and all.

When someone has been trapped, or held hostage or similar in a room for days, but they haven't needed to use the toilet or wet/soiled themself. Even worse when they are tied up.

Survival or apocalypse films when people are surviving, without water etc. they look dirty and sweaty, must stink, have worn the same clothes and underwear for days, but still are ready to jump into bed with each other.

Also how even ages after the end of the world, women still all have well fitting, hoist them up, bras available.

Any ambulance scene, where the crew are 'losing' the patient, and one will, rather dramatically and breathily say, 'stay with me'

Never in 24 years in the ambulance service has any colleague of mine uttered those words.

Oh and Argylle, main character carries a cat in a backpack through the whole film, no mention of how it goes to the loo...

This drives me insane!

Any American science fiction series. The aliens are always bipeds. Dr Who does it better with daleks.

Someone else will probably have said this, but see also suitcases … obviously also full of air.

TV and film also seem to have made a huge move to scenes in cars where the driver/passengers are so obviously not driving and car is on a trailer. There often used to be ‘green screen’ type driving scenes, but not this abundance of trailers.

There is quite a sweet if slightly dull film named Then She Found Me starring Helen Hunt. There's a part where Helen Hunt is pregnant, I can't remember exactly how long but I think about eight or nine weeks and she has a scan and the baby in the scan looks like a newborn floating in a swimming pool.

Any film and series where someone is diagnosed hypoglycemic and some idiot asks for insulin. Are they trying to kill them

Knight and Day film by Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz.

They filmed the running of the bulls in Pamplona in Seville. When I saw men in white with red bandanas around the necks and the bulls running in the middle of Seville, I pissed myself laughing.

I was never fond of Tom Cruise's movies, but that one was the last one for me.

In any film where someone ‘flatlines’ and they shock them back to life. You can’t shock a flatline!!! There’s even a whole film based on the idea that you can shock a flatline. I shout at the TV every time this happens (which is often).

Also never resuscitating anyone! They just say ‘They’ve gone’ or give a sad little shake of their head - resuscitate them ffs!!!