Scenes in films that are so illogical it really grates.

[Yetmorebeanstocount]

Eat Pray Love.
The two women have just discussed eating, muffin-tops, body image, etc, and Julia Roberts says to enjoy the pizza and just buy bigger jeans.

So in the next scene they are buying jeans, but doing that stereotypical-joke thing of lying on the changing room floor trying to pull up the zip on too-tight jeans.
Why? - that totally defeats the object.

I guess the male writer/director thought it would be a fun scene, that is how he imagines women always shop for jeans.
It just makes no sense in the context of the film.

What scenes really annoy you?

Top Gun Maverick where the woman sails a boat to the boat mender’s then gets a ride home on the back of Tom Cruise’s motorbike without a helmet. When she steps off the back of the bike her hair looks like she’s just walked out of the hairdresser’s.

Any ‘morning after’ scenes where they’ve been having rampant sex all night but the woman always has her bra on and perfect make up when she wakes up.

The film Greystoke which contains some wonderful scenes with Sir Ralph Richardson (last ever performance ) and Ian Holm, fantastic atmospheric sets etc.

Obviously the whole story requires a certain suspension of disbelief!

And someone thought it would help its credibility to have Christopher Lambert, who played Tarzan, wearing Victorian top hat and tails, stare in to a crate out the back of the geographical society or V&A or some such, in to the eyes of a dreadfully unconvincing orangutan or ape-like creature, and whisper the word… “mother” 😂.

Edited to say: obviously this was more catastrophically superfluous than illogical, but either way, it completely wrecked the film.

How is that improbable? I'm foreign and speak with an accent, my kid is a total East London cockney. All my friends who immigrated to US have kids with 100% American accents. Happens all the time.

Any musical. I just can’t suspend disbelief that people are chatting then they are suddenly singing. And no one bats an eyelid. Ridiculous!

There are quite a few in The Holiday (Cameron Diaz/Kate Winslett)

the one where Diaz has maniac trouble driving a mini on the 'wrong' side of the road into some tiny chocolate box village but in the shop drinks alcohol out of the bottle and how did she open it without a cork screw.

the one where Kate Winslett goes to the house in LA for the first time and runs round from room to room with her mouth wide open like a guppy. Yes it's a nice house but works for a London publisher. She acts like she's never see a house before.

the whole thing of Jude Laws tiny tiny kids calling him on a mobile phone - (how? why? where is the nanny?) and having Diaz thinking it was a gf.

her turning up at his house out of the blue in an evening dress -as if.

there are probably lots more. it's full of plot grates.

I am still raging that the bearded lady in The Greatest Showman had her underarms waxed. On every level this infuriates me, if she had access to hair removal why not just remove the facial hair? But mostly it angers me because the concept of a woman having underarm hair is so taboo that the writers/ directors couldn't even fathom it, even when writing about this character. It would be almost acceptable if a small percentage of women were under represented but as we know all women have underarm hair and yet its inconceivable to see it on screen.

Any hacking scene where the wiz can get into traffic lights, random security or pull up blueprints that allows them to 3D-render exactly where they need to visualise in minutes (too many to name)

Back in the real world, it took all morning, with help from IT, for me to get my work emails to download.
And I have to unplug and replug in my external monitor every time my laptop goes into lock mode.

It's not aiming for realism in our world, but 'I am not an easy man' has an interesting birth scene. This is her giving birth: https://64.media.tumblr.com/135f5d3df6d717d81e8f40d6116278f3/80d12432080883bf-ad/s2048x3072/d4ebb039aadad20e72f405d7d6afb92adb9f23fd.pnj

The Tourist, where Jamie Dornan refers in both series to not being able to “drive stick”
I called a Northern Irish friend to ask if that’s what they call manual cars. It is not.

The Holiday where she decides to leave the house swap early and drives off without any thought for the dog, whose care she has assumed without any instructions or conversation.

@InstaRam yes! I made that exact point on another thread once. They have their own mobiles because different names come up on caller ID. No explanation.

Everyone always gets a parking space right outside the place they're going. I appreciate it would be boring to watch someone looking for the nearest car park etc, but it really grates!

The lad who threw the map away in the Blair Witch Project - why?

Alien: Covenant - let's walk around a strange new world without space suits or any kind of quarantine , oh look we are infected with deadly mutant spores.

Bourne Identify - when he gets the lift to Paris and they just park on the pedestrian walkway by the Seine.

Robert de Niro in Ronan asking Sean Bean what colour is the boat house in Heer-Fod.

The whole of Armageddon. I can suspend my disbelief for most of it because I enjoy it, but dear god it's appalling.

Also, hilarious over-the-top high-tech forensics offices with transparent drawing boards. In a world where awful, complicated and elaborate murders happen every week.

Yep! Again the patriarchy!

The egg in Alien 3. How did it get on board the Sulaco?

@Alalalalalongalalalalalonglonglilong !

armpit hair - see also Emma Stone in Poor Things. Not only is she a happy hooker breaking societal rules but she also remembers to shave her armpits.

It’s like armpit hair is the Last Taboo

I once rolled my eyes so hard at CSI Miami that I lost a contact lens.

A blonde woman with long loose hair walking in 4" stilettos through a very bloody crime scene for a triple murder. No shoe covers, masks, paper overalls, gloves or basic actual science in sight. Fuck sake.

This is so true, all historical dramas with shaven pits.

Any film where people are on the phone to each other. Then they hang up without saying ‘bye’. It’s so unrealistic.

Oh yes, brings to mind all the action characters with lose hair and barely no clothes, so skinny they would probably pass out from running, with face full of makeup. I have seen only one film where the main action character was played by (i think) a professional wrestler - at least she was buff and had believable muscles (cant remember what the film was).

Any film where they are on the phone and arrange to meet later but don’t give a time or place 🤨

It’s when someone arrives at their house carrying a big brown paper bag full of groceries. This only seems to happen in America. Its frustrating because I want American brown paper grocery bags to have handles and be made of a less flimsy material than brown paper.

I get irrationally annoyed by any PDAs in period films/tv shows. It would have been the height of scandal to snog someone in public, particularly if you weren’t married to them <gets out the smelling salts>

I also hate it when any scene involving a horse is accompanied by whinnying noises. Anyone who knows horses knows they don’t wander around whinnying at each other all day!