Scenes in films that are so illogical it really grates.

[Yetmorebeanstocount]

Eat Pray Love.
The two women have just discussed eating, muffin-tops, body image, etc, and Julia Roberts says to enjoy the pizza and just buy bigger jeans.

So in the next scene they are buying jeans, but doing that stereotypical-joke thing of lying on the changing room floor trying to pull up the zip on too-tight jeans.
Why? - that totally defeats the object.

I guess the male writer/director thought it would be a fun scene, that is how he imagines women always shop for jeans.
It just makes no sense in the context of the film.

What scenes really annoy you?

But electricity/batteries don’t work around wizards! They wouldn’t be able to have phones.

I thought Morgan Freedman performed a c section on Little Johns wife?

Blame the writer not the actress :)

I haven't seen it, but could she have been meant to be lying to make herself sound younger?

Emerald Fennell is the writer! No I don’t think it was a lie, it wasn’t a scene like that. Hopefully Emerald will pop up in a minute and explain.

Shirley Valentine: She took a flight to Mykonos and then took a ferry to the same island! Seemingly on her way back to the airport she worked out the ferry trip was not required 😀.

Getting away from her pig of a husband and getting a good seeing to by the boatman “who made fuck with her” 😉😂, clearly sorted her travel planning too.

No idea if the note actually had Chinese characters on it, but Chinese is very commonly written using our alphabet, it’s called “pinyin”. That is how people can learn to speak and understand it without having to learn how to read or write Chinese characters. My Chinese colleague also once showed me that they use pinyin themselves for texting (not exclusively, but some like to). So it’s not too far fetched to think that Xin chào is Chinese when Ni hao actually is Chinese.

Any hallmark christmas movie tbh. The plot is always the same.
small-town girl moves to big city to start career as an author, fashion designer etc. meets new boss without realising it's him (usually at the local, independent coffee shop before work), spills coffee and has a go at him. She gets to work and he's there looking smugly. By the end of the movie they're married. If not this, then small-town girl is usually coming back from the big city for christmas and bumps into some guy from school who works on his dads christmas tree farm and they rekindle.

Any hacking scene where the wiz can get into traffic lights, random security or pull up blueprints that allows them to 3D-render exactly where they need to visualise in minutes (too many to name)

This. Plus, it's always some broke, scruffy teenager just out of high school with no job and smokes weeds constantly. If you had the tech skills to hack into the pentagon, I'm pretty sure you'd be able to find a well paid job in tech FFS

It always bothers me that people in TV shows seem to eat their breakfast and go to work/school when the sun is fully up, even when it’s the middle of winter. That’s probably a result of the sun coming up earlier in southern California where most of those shows are made, but it still annoys me. See also the mum making everyone a proper cooked breakfast on a regular basis.

Here it’s a bowl of bran flakes and a banana whilst it’s still pitch black outside at 7.30am.

THIS is the dumbest hacking scene ever written.

'And Hadrians wall features in their very quick journey as well'.

And all the Notts locals have West Country accents.

Things like that with language annoy me. I've watched films where the casting people have apparently decided to hire "Chinese-looking" people (often as baddies or henchmen) but one is speaking Mandarin, the other is speaking a completely different language and they aren't actually communicating with each other. With more than a billion Mandarin speakers in the world, someone's going to notice!

On the other hand I remember watching an episode of the X-Files and the Asian actors were all speaking the same language to each other but it was obvious that someone of them were struggling with it as not native speakers and the subtitles didn't translate what was said but just kept saying "speaks Mandarin". It was Cantonese.

Am left wondering if it's the same for (say) Spanish speakers and they're shouting at the screen when people are meant to all be from the same family but are speaking completely different Spanish dialects.

That made me chuckle. The road she was driving down was filmed in a village in surrey called Bramley. The road is Iron Lane. Where she ends up is Godalming but that road doesn’t take you there. Waverley films filmed those scenes in the summer and used fake snow to make it look like winter. The shop didn’t actually exist in Godalming.

High speed car chases through London, taking in all the famous landmarks, at rush hour.

Drinking from obviously empty coffee mugs/picking up obviously empty suitcases. Would it really be so hard to chuck a few jumpers in for realism?

All of Love Actually.

These are making me laugh so much.

In addition to the whinnying horses, I have a very specific bugbear - when there's a big scary dog to be dealt with round the corner (and we know it's big and scary by its big scary bark) when they do interact with the people, the bark doesn't match the breed! I fully accept that I'm a dog geek but different breeds have different barks, they just do, so don't go showing me a mastiff when I'm expecting a GSD!

On a related note to the one about the police being able to park right outside the correct house, how come hardly anyone has pets? And how the hell are they able to answer the door so quickly to unexpected visitors?
When someone comes to my door, it takes me ages to get there because I've usually got a pile of animals on me, so I'm trying to put the cat on the floor and simultaneously move at least 3 of the dogs because they all love to cuddle in and simultaneously find a place to put my coffee to keep it safe from slurpy tongues and simultaneously trying to keep my place in my book. When I eventually get to the door I must look very discombobulated!

Actually there was a Q&A session on telly with the cast and crew when LOST was huge. Someone (astonishingly rudely) asked Jorge Garcia how come his character, Hurley, never got thinner being marooned on an island. Garcia answered:

Because. It's. A.TV. Program... and that's also why our women don't get hairy!

"Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves. Kevin Costner and Morgan Freeman walk from Dover to Nottingham in a day."

Exactly what I was going to say. He gets out of the boat at Dover, says "I'm home!" then says "we'll reach Nottingham by nightfall" or something and when he gets to Nottingham, it's not even dark.

Is he a Duracell bunny?

"Any scene with a computer where most of the screen is taken up with a massive message saying something like "Copying files," or "Access denied."

Ha yeah, or the computer says "SYSTEM ACTIVATED" and there's lots of beepy noises

The raking of the Pelham 123. A subway train gets highjacked, so obviously the rest of the subway system would be completely locked down right?

No, not in the film. The rest of the subway trains continue merrily running around as normal full of passengers.

Exactly.

Same with labour scenes, yes everyone knows they're hours long but that would be a pretty boring movie. It would just be called labour: the movie. Or have many many of these inserted.

I hate musicals for this reason. They irritate me.

The whole premise of Titanic actually offends me; with the deaths of 1500 real people functioning as a backcloth to the tear jerking 'love story' of 2 fictitious ones. This wasn't like a WWll story with millions of anonymous casualties, there were lists of all the passengers and crew so anyone (like Rose & Jack) who wasn't on the list was not on the boat. I think that any tears should be shed for the real people who died.

An illogical part of that film was presenting Rose as an admirable character when she was anything but. The last scene in particular - when she chucks the diamond in the ocean, mischievous smile on her face - just made me think 'you stupid old bitch'.

@Trisolaris Another diabetic here - and yes, stop it with the insulin!!!

I've genuinely had a colleague confidently tell me that if I had 'a funny turn' she'd 'know just what to do', and then brag about how they 'were on the verge' of injecting a friend of theirs once at a party 'who was having a funny turn, but he came round just in time.'

She was quite a patronising woman anyway and pulled a face when I explained to her that it's wrong to ever inject anyone with anything if you don't have the slighest idea what you're doing and I wasn't exaggerating when I say that they could have killed him.

Indeed @TooMuchPinkyPonkJuice !
See also: not saying goodbye, making small talk or finalising details on the phone; going to the toilet, eating full meals, convalescing in hospital, getting dressed/putting on shoes...
How full of tedious detail do people want their films and TV shows to be? 🤪

Plus, coming out of freezing water, into the cold air (with the wind chill factor) kills you a damn sight quicker than freezing water alone.