80 year old gran so difficult to buy for

[Setphaserstaemalky]

Help! What on Earth do I buy my 80 year old gran for her birthday?!

The list of potential presents has shrunk over the years.

Chocolate: she's diabetic
Toiletries: she has sensitive skin and likes to buy her own
Writing sets: she can't write letters to people anymore
Clothes: wouldn't even know where to begin

In the past I've bought her these failed gifts...

CD player and selection of CDs by favourite singers: My dad let me know she played it once then hid it away in a cupboard. Any kind of technology is wasted on her. (See also: electronic photo frame.)

Plant: she has no interest in plants or gardening

Magazine subscription: she gave them all to my dad and asked me not to buy them again

Jewellery: she has so much jewellery and not much need for it these days

Every birthday and Christmas now she gets a few books, a bunch of flowers, and a photo gift of her grandson. Do I just stick with this (she seems very happy) or does anyone have any ideas?

She gets plenty of that. Sometimes it's nice to buy a wee minding as well.

My mum is nearly that age and doesn't want gifts but my siblings got her a monthly subscription for letterbox flowers which she loves

Not a a chance in hell for any of these. She'd hate half of them and the rest she wouldn't be fit for/couldn't hear what's going on. She's pretty deaf.

In previous years I've taken her for a drive to a nice lunch somewhere in the country side. Did a wee boat tour. Been to the cinema etc etc. She can't do any of that anymore.

Meals out aren't as frequent as they used to be

God help me she has none.

I thought I was on to a winner years ago with the CD player and very carefully thought out CDs of music she used to dance to in her younger years at the dance halls... nope.

What are her interests? Catholicism and bitching about her neighbours mainly 😂

I've never heard of this- having a Google now! Thanks 😊

Bloom and wild I think they are, lovely quality

Fab, think this could be a winner! I've sent letterbox brownies to people before but never heard of this

My Mum, who is in her eighties, is getting increasingly difficult to buy for, but she does like nice bone china mugs( she's very particular but I know what she likes); warm things (M&S fleece oversize cardigan was a big hit); hand cream; and food treats ( salmon terrine, unusual cheeses). She likes jigsaws and someone to do them with her, and likes theatre or cinema outings and someone to take her.

I bought my elderly aunt a pashmina, she used it as a shawl or lap blanket all the time, it was always on the arm of her chair ready to repel a draught

A (print) subscription to The Tablet? Then you could try bringing her round to The Wonders Of Technology by showing her the digital version on a, erm, tablet; & then segueing to Vatican News. If she’ll brave the internet her reward will be in heaven the form of Popecentric podcasts - which can be presented to her simply as radio programmes to prevent any automatic rejection of The Newfangled.

Books like 365 Mary & 365 Saints might be a winner - & also a potential way to make an e-reader happen. If she’s at risk of ending up in hospital having an entire library at her fingertips but taking up less space than a single book is invaluable. Even better when it also supplies you with TV & radio… Being able to watch Mass being said all around the world (including the Pope doing his thing at St Peter’s) would be another draw for a tablet, especially if she struggles to go out. Would she be able to resist having all the latest Church news & being able to give the Pope’s views as if they’re besties? To say nothing of dropping in mentions of what Mass at the Vatican’s like vs eg Mass in Australia, Canada, India, the Philippines, Sri Lanka, & across the USA…

Would she be one to actually like the charity goat sort of gift? Because one way to support CAFOD is that form of directed donation - the ones focused on girls & women include hygiene packs with soap & reusable period pads in; vocational training for women refugees; & urgent medical treatment for pregnant & postpartum women & their babies. After my grandad died my [late] granny did not want stuff to the point she found it almost distressing to be given Yet More Things. She was genuinely delighted to be the sponsor of a donkey at a sanctuary in our area. They were her favourite animal from toddlerhood onwards - would your granny like to be sponsoring an animal or would she be unimpressed?

If she misses knitting & you can afford it, the Knitting Aid has incredible reviews. There are other suggestions to make it easier if it’s arthritis that troubles her; & tbh if she’s hand pain she might find compression gloves a welcome gift in any case. Some people find that they’re able to crochet when they can’t knit - there’s a huge range of ergonomic hooks available.

Good luck with finding a present for her - I hope she enjoys whatever you choose 🙂

Don't buy objects that you 'think' she likes. Just more clutter. I'd hate blankets, fragrance, flowers, books etc. Give her a voucher for afternoon tea, a meal , or a nice shop such as a delicatessen or online shop such as Etsy.

I have similar problems!

My MIL turned 80 recently and it was really difficult. We got her a mobile beauty therapist to come to the house. She got Reiki and her nails done. She really enjoyed that.

Other things that have been successful:
Kindle - she reads a lot but magazine subscription was not a hit.
Letterbox flower subscription
An Oodie
Electric blanket
Hamper of goodies
Amyrilis/flowers/plants
Sheepskin slippers
Photo montage in a frame or canvas
Alexa
Jigsaw board you can fold up when not in use.
A cat!

My dad is mid 80s.

Things I have got him:

Yorkshire whisky (he was born in Yorkshire on Yorkshire day)

Fudge hamper - not good for a diabetic, although you can get sugar free sweets https://www.sweetsandcandy.co.uk/sweets/sugar-free.html

Patio heater - in nice weather he sits out with the next door neighbours for a mid afternoon drink

Air fryer, but I had to show him how to cook in it

Books - he developed an interest in linguistics of all things

A spitfire - sort of https://www.rafatrad.co.uk/products/adopt-a-spitfire

I put music on a USB for him to play in the car (does she drive?)

I've just read the 'catholicism' you can never have too many rosaries. I brought my parents some made of string with knots instead of beads, my mum was delighted and said they would be useful for 'in an emergency' - I disagreed but hey.

Where are you? A trip to a barn church?

Have a mass said for her? And get a mass card. You could even attend with her. https://stpauls.org.uk/card-birthday-mass-bouquet.html

Holy water?
Religious medal? Of her favorite saint, or of her name?
Statue?
Prayer book?
https://www.cenacle.co.uk/traditional-prayer

At that age I go for regular treats but things they wouldn't spend on themselves

Monthly Flowers or Chocolates. My Dad likes his little box of chocolates every month instead of big one for his birthday. Its like a little treat all year round.

Monthly home therapy - my Dad gets a neck massage, foot massage (good for circulation if not moving about so much) and pedicure (because he can't reach his toes anymore!) and he loves to have a natter with the therapist

Lego flower bouquet. I really enjoyed making this.

Thanks for the ideas everyone. Even the well meaning tech ones!

Got a subscription to Bloom & Wild for a few months. First one will arrive the same day we're going to visit and take her for a nice lunch. There are a few other nice ideas on here I'll have a think about for gifts 😊

You'd better warn her that some B & W flowers can look a bit like weeds when they turn up. The magic is putting them in the vase with the sachet of plant food and water, and seeing them bloom. The blooming usually starts the next day, and the flowers should last at least at least a week.

Thanks for the heads up!

I know a lot of people on here say no to buying people flowers but I love receiving them as a gift, and they make me very happy every time i look at them. See also, plants (but ones that are hardy and easy to care for!).

OTOH I HATE afternoon tea which has been suggested a number of times here.

I agree with what others said about her probably wanting experiences or just family around, not stuff. Take her out for dinner to a nice place or maybe there is a place she particularly likes, then it would be a great option, too.

If digital photo frame won't work for her, then how about a wall calendar with family pictures? If she keeps old family photos, you can digitize them and colorize black and white ones, then reprint them and make a new album for her.

If other relatives are willing to participate, you can work on a birthday slideshow for her together and include photos with her each of you have. Or just record everyone wishing her a happy birthday and singing songs and merge the videos together.

A painting? Something that she can look at every day. But she would have to choose it.

Take her out for a meal, or a scenic drive or simply spend more time with her.

Would she like to be read to? Does she have any particular interests or activities? My own gran was a bridge fiend - she loved bridge and played competitively.