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Original poster

80 year old gran so difficult to buy for

71 replies

Setphaserstaemalky · 01/02/2024 21:25

Help! What on Earth do I buy my 80 year old gran for her birthday?!

The list of potential presents has shrunk over the years.

Chocolate: she's diabetic
Toiletries: she has sensitive skin and likes to buy her own
Writing sets: she can't write letters to people anymore
Clothes: wouldn't even know where to begin

In the past I've bought her these failed gifts...

CD player and selection of CDs by favourite singers: My dad let me know she played it once then hid it away in a cupboard. Any kind of technology is wasted on her. (See also: electronic photo frame.)

Plant: she has no interest in plants or gardening

Magazine subscription: she gave them all to my dad and asked me not to buy them again

Jewellery: she has so much jewellery and not much need for it these days

Every birthday and Christmas now she gets a few books, a bunch of flowers, and a photo gift of her grandson. Do I just stick with this (she seems very happy) or does anyone have any ideas?

OP posts:
CadyEastman · 01/02/2024 22:15

You know what she likes so just get that. If she enjoys a drink too you could get her a book, some flowers and a small bottle of what she likes to drink.

tobee · 01/02/2024 22:15

What does she like? What are her interests? If just family then just company maybe.

FortunaMajor · 01/02/2024 22:16

My golden oldie loves a trip to a nice garden centre/RHS garden and a lunch from the cafe. I give the option of taking me, or a friend and I will cover the cost for both.

She doesn't want more stuff and doesn't like big or elaborate meals out as she only has a small appetite now.

She won't say no to flowers and a bottle of sherry as a tangible thing to hand over.

Renamed · 01/02/2024 22:20

New bedspread or a nice new bedside rug?

My grandmother used to like cherry brandy, a trip to the theatre or cinema, a nice bone China mug

Theoldwrinkley · 01/02/2024 22:23

Time. At an age significantly less than your grandma, I would love someone's time. Or a bunch of flowers not on her birthday, but a surprise.....or she'll have hundreds of bunches but for only a week.

EmpressaurusOfTheScathingTinsel · 01/02/2024 22:27

I’d hope the OP would be giving time as well as a present.

Anneta · 01/02/2024 22:37

Over the past 4-5 years at Xmas and birthdays I bought my elderly godmother flowers, a high tea delivered to her door, a John Lewis hamper, Lily O Brien chocolates, selections of food goodies from M&S & perfume ….as I thought that at her age she wouldn’t want more “things” for the house.
Last year it was her 90th birthday and I asked her if there was anything specific she would like. She said “I’ll think about it but don’t buy me food!”🤣 She later asked for a brooch so I bought that and a jewellery box & a book mark and she was delighted! For Christmas I bought her some commemorative China of the Coronation from Emma Bridgewater and that was a success too as she loves the Royals and collects commemorative plates etc
I would ask your grandmother what she would like. I am nearly 70 and I asked my family to buy me a new feather & down pillow at Christmas and for my birthday this month I have asked for pillow cases, a new door mat and some face flannels. (They also bought me an iwatch which I loved )

Charleymouse · 01/02/2024 22:38

What about a grandmother remembers type of book.

Or an ancestry dna kit or subscription.

i bought my grandma one of the books and she wanted to fill it in nicely so she wrote on the back of old envelopes ( cut into squares - she was both frugal and environmentally friendly)

When I open it now 15 years since she passed away i read her handwriting and she is in the room with me telling me the things about her life I don't know. I have to put the slips of paper back in the correct pages each time.

Sorry to be maudlin but I wish she'd filled more in. I wish I'd spent more time with her to fill it in together.

Agree with the garden centre option as well.

Charleymouse · 01/02/2024 22:42

Another hit for my other nana was a teddy bear. She was one of four when money was tight and had long since lost her childhood cuddly.

She used to take it to bed with her and pop
it on the pillow in the morning.

I have it now and enjoy the occasional cuddle with him.

Daisy12Maisie · 01/02/2024 22:46

Does she even want a present? I'm 41 and I really don't want presents from my sons. For my birthday me and my younger son are driving 2 hrs to see the older one who lives away from home. We are going out for a meal which I'm paying for out of choice. I'm so excited as I'm seeing my favourite people for my birthday. I really don't want gifts as I can't fit any more stuff in my house and it just stresses me out. They respect that. If they are at home for my birthday/ Mother's Day I want to see them and I want them to make me a cup of tea. Ask your gran as I can't be the only one that gets stressed out with gifts and just wants to see people for a meal or cup of tea. Failing that I would like a phone call to acknowledge my birthday and a chat to the person I love.

Mammyloveswine · 01/02/2024 22:47

I got a vase for my nana and decorated it with the kids handprints! She loved it! Handy for the flowers everyone bought her!

Cvoight · 01/02/2024 22:52

Butteryscones · 01/02/2024 21:46

At 80 I won’t want any presents. It’s just crap filling up your house.
Take her out for a nice meal or something

I agree with this. My parents are only late 70s but it’s apparent just how much work owning stuff creates.

I think a nice bunch of flowers, or a special meal. A lovely card.

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 01/02/2024 22:59

Warm nightdresses, long sleeve.

Warm throw

Heated throw.

Hamper or mini hamper

Pot plant for drive door eg with a shrub under planted with daffodils

TheSandgroper · 01/02/2024 23:06

Although we live in another hemisphere we thought of this - random tat filling the space. So we now send a bunch of flowers every year. It’s something she looks forward to and then she enjoys so it makes the experience last longer, iyswim.

Marchintospring · 01/02/2024 23:07

My mums almost 80. She’s just messaged me on her iPad ( 2nd hand old one, best gift ever) to say how much she loves her Bowel Babes candle that she’s put in the bathroom. She also likes gardening, walking and going out for shop/ walk/ coffee.
Give her the gift of your time if you can’t think of a good present .

As some else noted, they lived through much cooler times than now. My mum watched Hendrix at the IOW festival. Nothings going to top that.

Marchintospring · 01/02/2024 23:09

Although she loves her subscription to Prima magazine as it’s a little gift every month and she can do the crossword/ quiz as part of Britain training.

caringcarer · 01/02/2024 23:11

Take her a nice bunch of flowers and ask if she'd like to go in car for an ice cream, walk in the park, trip to garden centre.

caringcarer · 01/02/2024 23:13

My elderly MiL in her 80's now loves it when we visit and take her in the car down to the sea front, but her an ice cream and a cup of coffee after a little stroll along the promenade. She lives close to the sea front but no longer has the confidence to go on her own.

spanishviola · 01/02/2024 23:18

Slippers
Socks - the diabetic ones with soft stretchy tops
Dressing gown, nightdress
Flowers
Lunch or tea out
Magazine subscription - nice to get something every month if she likes that sort of thing
Books if she reads
Soft throw

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 01/02/2024 23:26

A bunch of flowers, a lengthy visit and bring a lunch or an afternoon tea that's suitable for a diabetic?
If she's mobile and lives close, bring her to you for lunch.
She's 80. Spend some time with her, that's all she wants and that's what you'll miss when she's gone

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 01/02/2024 23:27

Or a nice gin? 😉

Avacardo2023 · 01/02/2024 23:28

An Alexa and Amazon music so she can ask it questions, ask to play whatever songs she fancies hearing, setting reminders etc. I've bought a few for elderly family members and they have all been well received.

Maybe take her out to a bookshop to choose some books and go for a bite to eat.

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 01/02/2024 23:35

Butteryscones · 01/02/2024 21:46

At 80 I won’t want any presents. It’s just crap filling up your house.
Take her out for a nice meal or something

This

DM is 81. She keeps giving stuff away, she says she has too much stuff.

Original poster
Setphaserstaemalky · 01/02/2024 23:42

TheThingIsYeah · 01/02/2024 21:44

Old style record player with some vinyl choons from the 60s? At first glance 80 sounds elderly, but when you put it in the context that she'd have been listening to the Beatles, The Who, The Rolling Stones in her early 20s, it seems like 80 is no age at all!

She absolutely was not and wouldn't have the first clue about The Beatles or The Rolling Stones. My gran is a woman who's been perpetually 80. Very stereotypically "little old granny." My dad often comments in disbelief that she's younger than John Lennon would be if he was still alive. She's of a bygone era and I think she adopted her granny persona in her early 40s.

To respond to some posters:

Technology is out. Anything CDs, records, TV... the lot. I've tried.

She's also a painfully dull wee wifey with no hobbies. She used to knit years ago but can't work the needles anymore. I love her but she's bloody boring and I don't know what to do with her 😅

She loves a meal out but we do those regularly anyway. I'll maybe just find something extra special for lunch and book that as her gift.

OP posts: