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Original poster

WhatsApp and the ticks

50 replies

Getonnow · 31/01/2024 15:36

When I send a message to most of my friends, it goes to 2 grey ticks (delivered) almost immediately. Then for most people 2 blue ticks once they've opened it, although some people have it set so it never moves off grey. All good, I understand.

With one friend, it stays on one grey tick (sent, but not delivered) for ages. Once it goes to two grey ticks, it moves to blue quickly and he usually responds almost straightaway.

Obviously, there are reasons I'm over thinking this, but what is actually happening? Why are these messages taking so long to be delivered?

OP posts:
semantlename · 31/01/2024 15:39

They likely don't use their data or are in bad signal areas so no Internet. Or they can have a setting where they don't receive it until they open the app, I think? Unless that's just multimedia.

Leftphalange100 · 31/01/2024 15:40

Because he isn't connected to the Internet all the time so isn't delivered until it shows 2 ticks? His phone is off or he has mobile data switched off / no WiFi.

Original poster
Getonnow · 31/01/2024 15:44

Initially I put it down to a dodgy signal when he's in work, but it happens at weekends and evenings too.

If I'm honest, I'm a little concerned there's a reason he doesn't want my messages popping up until he's ready, although he's given me absolutely no reason to think that, except that this is unusual compared to anyone else who sends me messages.

OP posts:
BallerinaFall · 31/01/2024 15:46

I have sent WhatsApp to someone sat in the same room as me on the same WiFi connection and sometimes for no known reason it takes 20 minutes or so to deliver.

Original poster
Getonnow · 31/01/2024 15:47

Also, whilst we're on the subject, if I read a message on the notification, without opening the app, does it still show as read?

OP posts:
DrunkenElephant · 31/01/2024 15:47

This happened to me for a while on WhatsApp, I wouldn’t get messages until I physically opened the app, they just weren’t delivering until I went on the app. It only lasted a day or two though.

It is possible that he is deleting and reinstalling WhatsApp if he is talking to you “secretly” and doesn’t want a partner to find out, is that your concern? If he deletes the app, the messages won’t deliver until he re-installs.

ArtisticMeeg · 31/01/2024 15:48

A friend of mine dated someone who had that. It turned out he'd downloaded something on his phone to prevent the 2 tick thing until he physically opened WhatsApp. I think you can Google this and it explains it. I didn't look into it much other than see it was a thing.
He insisted it wasn't a dodgy thing. But let's face it no one goes to the hassle of downloading some sort of blocker or whatever it is in order to keep ticks at 1 unless there's something going on.

Original poster
Getonnow · 31/01/2024 15:52

I don't know, not really, there's just "something" because it's unusual (to me).

I don't think it will be a blocker thing, another friend mentioned that she has hers set so the blue ticks don't happen because work people contact her out of hours and she prefers they don't know she's seen it until she's ready to reply (fair enough) and he seemed surprised that was possible.

If he's deleting the app, he's doing it up to 30 times a day! And no, that's not me initiating, he starts at least 2/3 of our text exchanges.

OP posts:
DrunkenElephant · 31/01/2024 15:54

The blue ticks not appearing is normal, I have mine set the same way so people don’t know I’ve read the messages and I don’t feel like I have to reply straight away.

Not delivering is odd. If he’s not deleting the app then he’s either out of signal area or his phone is on do not disturb/airplane mode.

SKG231 · 31/01/2024 16:05

Getonnow · 31/01/2024 15:47

Also, whilst we're on the subject, if I read a message on the notification, without opening the app, does it still show as read?

You can hold down and read (most) of a message on the Home Screen and it doesn’t show as read. You can also reply from the Home Screen and it doesn’t show you as online.

im not sure of muting someone’s chat stops their messages from delivering until they unmute. But like you have said I would be suspicious and the reoccurring pattern.

EmmaEmerald · 31/01/2024 16:11

30 times a day is possibly in and out of service, or muting, though that's a lot of muting

but have you actually sent 30 messages a day to see that?

I would DND my personal phone a lot if not for my elderly mother. (Before anyone says about settings, there's no way to add the emergency button number as the calls come from a centre).

Original poster
Getonnow · 31/01/2024 16:14

He never shows as online and the thing where it tells you when they were last active doesn't happen either (my son also has his set like that to avoid work on days off), but friend's messages do show as read and he does show as typing.

It's all a bit odd because we are just friends, but he does message a lot. AFAIK there's no woman in his life and we have a lot of mutual friends, so I think I would know, but I can't think of another reason for this oddness. There's nothing in his messages that a woman couldn't see anyway, except the fact that they're so frequent.

Maybe he does just switch data off, so receiving messages is all a bit intermittent.

OP posts:
Original poster
Getonnow · 31/01/2024 16:16

EmmaEmerald · 31/01/2024 16:11

30 times a day is possibly in and out of service, or muting, though that's a lot of muting

but have you actually sent 30 messages a day to see that?

I would DND my personal phone a lot if not for my elderly mother. (Before anyone says about settings, there's no way to add the emergency button number as the calls come from a centre).

Edited

Yes, there are days when we have quite long back and forth. When we're chatting, they still stay on one tick for a while (ie it's not delivered instantly), but he'll respond within a few minutes.

OP posts:
WhollyGlorious · 31/01/2024 16:16

Getonnow · 31/01/2024 15:44

Initially I put it down to a dodgy signal when he's in work, but it happens at weekends and evenings too.

If I'm honest, I'm a little concerned there's a reason he doesn't want my messages popping up until he's ready, although he's given me absolutely no reason to think that, except that this is unusual compared to anyone else who sends me messages.

I don’t know if it makes a difference (I’ll test it shortly) but I have my WhatsApp and all other social media notifications turned off, so I don’t read a message until I manually go and check. Nothing about messages from certain people popping up, I just do it to curb my social media usage to when I want and not at the beck and call of anyone else!

catsnhats11 · 31/01/2024 16:17

You say you're just friends, but does he want more? If he does have a wife/ partner then messaging you (as a woman) a lot (up to 30 times a day!) would be off imo

WhollyGlorious · 31/01/2024 16:20

So if the WhatsApp app is closed, I only get one tick until I open the app then I get two grey ticks, and two blue ticks when I read the message.

Reading the message notification doesn’t change it from grey to blue.

If the WhatsApp app is open on my phone (as in I’ve not swiped up to close it properly, it doesn’t have to be on the screen) then I get two grey ticks, even if I don’t get a notification.

HTH.

WellWillWoll · 31/01/2024 16:21

You can read the whole message if you put your phone in airplane mode first.

Just make sure you're out of the message again before you turn off airplane mode.

That way, the ticks don't turn blue, even though you've read the whole thing.

Original poster
Getonnow · 31/01/2024 16:22

catsnhats11 · 31/01/2024 16:17

You say you're just friends, but does he want more? If he does have a wife/ partner then messaging you (as a woman) a lot (up to 30 times a day!) would be off imo

Well....obviously there's a reason I'm asking these questions.

I've known him 2 years and we have lots of mutual friends, so if he does have a secret wife, he's done it very well, plus there's no reason for a wife to be a secret.

But, yes, he is messaging me almost every day and sometimes lots of times a day, which isn't quite normal Grin We share a hobby so I see him 3-4 times a week too. Most of my other hobby friends I message once in a while, when I have something specific to tell them that can't wait until I see them!

OP posts:
Original poster
Getonnow · 31/01/2024 16:25

Also, this happens at times when he's at work etc, so it's not just about not getting messages at home.

OP posts:
catsnhats11 · 31/01/2024 16:29

Hopefully it's just some quirk of his phone set up and there's no wife, he's definitely interested!!

ArtisticMeeg · 31/01/2024 16:30

If you think it must be something innocent (you say he was surprised you can turn the blue ticks off) then why not just ask him. Just say you know what's weird when I message you I only get 1 tick. Is that an option I haven't heard about? Then next time you see him say you want to do a test and get him to keep his phone out while you send a message.
If you're genuinely just friends and he hasn't got a blocker etc then he'd be happy to do this. I'd happily do it for a friend and I'd be curious myself why my phone was doing it.

Psychoticbreak · 31/01/2024 16:30

Maybe he has your conversations muted so only sees them when he goes into the app to see them?

EmmaEmerald · 31/01/2024 16:35

I'm confused now

My whatsapp is set to "no notifications" so I only see messages when I look. Does that mean others get only one tick till I look?

I thought the second tick was to show it had been delivered, not that I've necessarily seen it.

I only mute groups occasionally.

EmmaEmerald · 31/01/2024 16:38

Psychoticbreak · 31/01/2024 16:30

Maybe he has your conversations muted so only sees them when he goes into the app to see them?

I did this with my ex when I was busy at work and he kept doing "stream of consciousness" at me! But, it's a good way to discipline if you're glued to your phone so maybe he's doing that.

be warned OP, I was also friends with my ex for two years....cross a line and next thing you know, you're in a whirlwind romance with about 8000 messages per month! 😂

muddyford · 31/01/2024 16:45

If he has the Wi-Fi/data turned off on his 'phone, or is out of range of signal it won't show as delivered, as it hasn't been, so one grey tick. When he is back in range or has his Wi-Fi/data turned on, it's delivered so two grey ticks. Reads it, two blue ticks and answers.