When did your parent(s) concede that they were ready to give up driving

[AhhhThereWeAreThen]

I think my parent is ready but it's an awkward conversation- how to approach?

Biological dad - he didnt. Was pulled over drink driving.

Mum - 76, doesn't drive much at all anymore. Own decision.

Lovely step dad, 75 still fine and dandy.

My mum: about 55, was a functioning alcoholic and just got my dad to drive everywhere after one too many minor bumps.

My Dad: 75 due to deteriorating eyesight, I'm impressed he's made the decision on his own to be honest.

My grandad recently gave up by choice at 85 as he felt his reaction times had slowed

My Grandma stopped driving at 90/91.
She just used to drive to Tesco's once a week that's all and hadn't gone further for a very long time.
She kept the car for a bit longer, it at least kept up the illusion of independence for her.

She's 93 now and does online orders instead. She's still mentally very with it, but her mobility isn't so good now.

What makes you think they are ready? That will be your way in.

My father we had to trick into stopping. We all felt he should stop a few years earlier but he wasn't having any of it, got aggressive about it and legally there was nothing we could do, despite having watched him drive down a wide road clipping the mirrors of every single parked car next to him. We had to be very cunning about it but got there in the end.

My mother should have stopped driving by now but won't. She has always been a terrible driver and now has vascular dementia but apparently legally there's nothing we can do. She has chosen not to drive with my children in the car anymore (as if we'd allow it anyway!), but for some reason still thinks it's OK for her to endanger other people's children while out and about. Having agred my father should stop and collaborated with our tricks to make it happen she knows when we're trying it on her. It's an awful situation.

I really admire those older people with the common sense and self-awareness to realise and accept their situation. I always knew my parents wouldn't.

My grandad only gave up when he had a stroke. He was a terrifying driver in his later years.

I know some adult children even call insurers and plead with them not to insure their parenta/grandparents.

My dad gave up in his early 70s due to Parkinson's. He realised he could no longer continue but it was very hard for him to lose his independence.

Mum (84) has just had to give up due to cataracts. I have no idea how long the waiting list is for the op or whether she'll drive again.

Prevailed upon to hand in licence as an alternative to appearing in court to defend charges of leaving scene of accident. I’m pretty sure that the whole affray was a misunderstanding and there was advice that was unlikely to be found guilty - nonetheless I seized on this idea as soon as solicitor floated it.

My dad gave up of his own account when his sight deteriorated

My mother was still driving till she died at 87 although she shouldn't have been. She had numerous prangs which she always tried to pretend hadn't happened (enabled by my XH). My sister and I were terrified she'd knock over a child as she often drove past the local school but there was no reasoning with her. We even asked a doctor and he said there was nothing we could do - it had to be her decision.

FiL is 90 and still thinks he should be driving. SiL has taken his keys away. Thankfully all the residents of the town will be safe now,

After menopause in my case so age 56 but sold the car aged 59. I had to wait until ds was 18.

Nerves driving plus kept scratching the cars!

My mum wanted to keep driving despite her car having had more hits than the Beatles. She had a brain tumour, listed sideways, couldn’t hold her head up or see properly, but she was VERY bitter when she literally ran into her GP who insisted she hand over her license on the spot. (Tbh, she was a terrifying driver BEFORE all her health issues.)

I would quietly report to your Mum's GP.
Dementia is a condition that has to be reported to DVLA. Doesn't necessarily mean licence will be removed but in your Mum's case it sounds like you have cause for concern.
My Mum was referred for a driving assessment after a memory clinic diagnosis but decided not to do it as the assessment centre was "too far away." She has complained about it ever since. However she's also had occasional episodes of confusion, which makes me think her being off the road, whilst sad for her, is probably for the best.

DF announced a few years in advance that he’d stop driving at 80. And he did.

My dad’s just given up at 78 - felt his reactions weren’t as good anymore.
he now loves Uber and is probably saving a fortune as he doesn’t go far or often but now has no tax, insurance, MOT, services or petrol to think about.

Once MIL was diagnosed with dementia, we took the keys and sold the car. We have POA.

DVLA needed to be informed, and we were worried she'd drive off and forget how to get back, so we say it as reducing the ability to go too far.

FIL 87 and still driving. He has been make comments about stopping soon though but gas been saying that for 3 years.

My Dad actually stopped driving about 3 years ago, at 74, due to developing Parkinson's Disease, but only finally got rid of his car a couple of months ago.

FiL claimed he'd know when it was time to stop but he didn't.

My mother honestly believed she was still a good driver and scoffed at her friend for giving up. My kids nicknamed her car The ROD taxi - for Ride of Death!

People said that I'd have it on my conscience that I'd taken away her independence but that's better than having someone's death on my conscience.

My Dad is quite stubborn but has now given up driving because of his health (and it was becoming more expensive).

It was a difficult conversation to have. When I initially spoke with him he refused to listen but he gradually came round. Initially agreeing to no night time or motorway driving. Then no long journeys and finally he decided to sell the car (as he could use the money for a holiday).

My MIL stopped at 82 when she had a stroke. FIL was driving until his death at age 84.

My parents both still drive (ages 81 and 87).

My Dm gave up voluntarily at about 80, having become very nervous in anything like heavy traffic.

With the money from the sale of her car (not very old) and all the savings from not running one, she could have taken masses of taxis, but never would, because in her head they were a great extravagance.
Sadly, she became increasingly housebound, unwilling to go anywhere on her own, and it wasn’t long before we saw the first signs of Alzheimer’s. 🙁

Mine decide last week to stop aged 89. He was still a safe driver. I'm glad be chose to stop whilst he was still able

Dementia is the worst one, I think, because the person who's affected rarely realises their mental state has deteriorated. My elderly relative who lived in the centre of Bristol, most of which has a 20mph limit, used to drive her SUV everywhere at 20mph and get very annoyed at people hooting and overtaking her even though we pointed out that driving so slowly in unrestricted areas was dangerous to her and other road users. She wasn't having any of it and only stopped when she was sectioned, never to live at home again. She was 78.