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Original poster

Would you let your 9 year old to the park alone

50 replies

Mickeyfish · 28/01/2024 21:54

Just wondering if im in the wrong here
My dd was invited to the park with just her friend earlier today both are late 9's
The park isn't far but isn't at all within my eyesight or the other parents I said no because I'm not comfortable with it, she doesn't have a phone yet so isn't able to contact me also
This park can be awful at times especially on a weekend it was about 3pm (as weve been there with the dogs and there's all sorts of people around)
Dd of course went into a right mardy about it . My dh is in the same thought process at me

OP posts:
inneedofaglowup · 28/01/2024 21:57

No. I'd never let my 9 year old go to the park alone or with a friend. She's my eldest daughter and she's very head screwed on mature etc BUT she's still my child. My 9 year old girl. I wouldn't let her go to the park alone at 10,11 or 12 either. Not because I don't trust her but I don't trust other people. If it don't feel right go with your gut.

Christmastree455555 · 28/01/2024 21:57

I think it all depends on where you live, the local area etc. DS (8) plays out on his scooter with 3 / 4 friends, we can’t see him and sometimes he is gone for a couple of hours. However he knows his boundaries (our estate) and where he can’t go etc.

we are very rural, it’s a new build estate on the edge of a small Yorkshire village.
He isn’t allowed to the local park, it’s about 10/15 min walk from us.

toomanyleggings · 28/01/2024 21:58

No. Mines 10 and not allowed

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Bubbleohseven · 28/01/2024 21:58

It would depend on whether she had to cross a busy road to get there. If not, I'd let mine go. I live in a nice area though so I guess it's dependant on that too. Don't forget, a lot of 10 year olds go to middle school independantly.

Daisybuttercup12345 · 28/01/2024 21:59

No definitely not.

TwelveKeys · 28/01/2024 22:00

No way at 9.

Umtydumpy · 28/01/2024 22:01

Mines 9 and there's a lovely park near his school, however I think he's a bit too young to go without me. Maybe next year once he's in year 6 I'd let him go with friends. It's not him I don't trust, it's other people and unfortunately that's the way the world is now.

Nellieinthebarn · 28/01/2024 22:03

Nope, I didn't in the 80s with my children, and I certainly wouldn't do it now.

beeNqueen · 28/01/2024 22:06

After playing outside my flat in the late 90s early 00s knowing what I know now - no I wouldn't...too many creeps outside and general wrong uns

motherofkevinnotperry · 28/01/2024 22:06

Not at 9. Once they hit year 6 and it's getting toward secondary school that's another matter. Then you have to start to let go a bit more but there's no rush!

daisydalrymple · 28/01/2024 22:09

No, he’s not allowed at 9, and didn’t with older two either. Just started gradually with them in year 6 so they were used to a bit more independence for high school.

Dismaljanuary · 28/01/2024 22:10

Unfortunately not no.

Mumaway · 28/01/2024 22:10

We have a tiny park 100yds from our house. I can't see it. We let DD 10 and 8 go occasionally, but with a watch and a timescale

DGPP · 28/01/2024 22:11

No way

sleekcat · 28/01/2024 22:12

I did let my son go at 9 alone. But I think it's difficult to answer as it depends on what the park is like, how busy, where it is etc.

GaroTheMushroom · 28/01/2024 22:13

No

Duckingfun · 28/01/2024 22:13

I wouldn’t but there’s people around here who let their 5 year olds go to the park. I often end up looking after a group of children when I’m at the park or when I did the school run because they’re so young and I think they gravitate towards an adult.

Original poster
Mickeyfish · 28/01/2024 22:14

Thank you all, i do accept i need to give her more trust because next September 2025 she will have to go by her self to a secondary school but I still will be super anxious about that but at least she will then have a phone and be contactable

But no this just didn't sit right with me. I've only just let her start walking to school with a friend but that is still only a bit ahead of me not completely out of sight

OP posts:
BananaSplitsss · 28/01/2024 22:18

September 25 is a bit of a way off , thank goodness. Mine is 9 and it’s a fat no from me.

Absolutely no way at all.

KThnxBye · 28/01/2024 22:21

I would and did and do. Doesn’t mean I’m entirely happy about it but there is no choice really. Dc have to go out in the world and one of mine who is 10 is in training for their secondary responsibilities which is going to mean getting themselves up, breakfasted and out to school with a 2 mile walk over fields and waterways, motorways, to school, and back again, with their own house key until we can get home in the evening. If I wouldn’t let them go to the park now they’d have a horrid shock come September and the early mornings and dark nights of getting themselves home with a torch. It’s really really hard to let them out as they seem so small and they are but there’s no other way to do it. I’ve been through the same with my older dc and they do get used to it quickly but you never stop worrying.

FunOverload · 28/01/2024 22:24

Christmastree455555 · 28/01/2024 21:57

I think it all depends on where you live, the local area etc. DS (8) plays out on his scooter with 3 / 4 friends, we can’t see him and sometimes he is gone for a couple of hours. However he knows his boundaries (our estate) and where he can’t go etc.

we are very rural, it’s a new build estate on the edge of a small Yorkshire village.
He isn’t allowed to the local park, it’s about 10/15 min walk from us.

Seriously?

He's gone for a couple of hours! Doesn't that worry you at all?

MuggleMe · 28/01/2024 22:38

I haven't been asked but I probably would if her friends were sensible. DD is nearly 10 in middle school and has been scooting 25 mins to and from school solo since Sept. She has a phone and it's a short 5 minute walk away.

Chichimcgee · 28/01/2024 22:42

KThnxBye · 28/01/2024 22:21

I would and did and do. Doesn’t mean I’m entirely happy about it but there is no choice really. Dc have to go out in the world and one of mine who is 10 is in training for their secondary responsibilities which is going to mean getting themselves up, breakfasted and out to school with a 2 mile walk over fields and waterways, motorways, to school, and back again, with their own house key until we can get home in the evening. If I wouldn’t let them go to the park now they’d have a horrid shock come September and the early mornings and dark nights of getting themselves home with a torch. It’s really really hard to let them out as they seem so small and they are but there’s no other way to do it. I’ve been through the same with my older dc and they do get used to it quickly but you never stop worrying.

That sounds a lot, is there not a school bus?

AmyandPhilipfan · 28/01/2024 22:43

The actual going to the park bit wouldn't worry me at 9. It's who they might meet there. We have two very local parks - one with sports courts and one with a play area. Both often get teenagers hanging around swearing, vaping, littering etc. And I've heard them picking on other kids. My eldest two are now 15 and 16 and they were never allowed to go to the park by themselves because I was worried that they'd either join in with these groups of kids or be targeted by them. My youngest is only 6 but I doubt I'd allow her to go either when she's older. Which is sad, because I think she'd be perfectly capable and would have fun, but other people's behaviour means I can't let her.

Tisfortired · 28/01/2024 22:48

My eldest has just turned 10 and we had similar battles over the summer just gone. The park is about 2 minute walk and it’s right behind our house. His friends next door (younger than him!!) are allowed to go and he wanted to, it was always a firm no from me. Like someone above said, it’s not him that I don’t trust it’s other people. A few times I took them all and sat at a picnic bench reading my book out of the way but could still see him.

He doesn’t have a mobile yet so that’s probably adding to it - perhaps if I could get hold of him and him me I’d be less against it. He’s getting a mobile for his next birthday and I can sense that we’re going to have to loosen the reins a little in the next year before he starts high school next year.