I should have invited these kids to DCs party shouldn’t I?

[Partypalaver]

DC 9 is having a small birthday party - an organised activity with 7 friends. DC chose to invite mainly new friends (classes have been mixed this year & friendship groups have changed) & not their two oldest friends. DC has said that they don’t hang around together anymore (no falling outs, they’ve just drifted) & they’d rather invite new friends. Now we’re good friends with these 2 kids parents but I didn’t want DC to feel they had to invite them because of this so went with it.

So invitations go out to the 7 kids, they can all come so all sorted I think. Fast forward 2 weeks & DC gets invited to the parties of the 2 kids we haven’t invited (by coincidence their birthdays are all close together). They too are having small parties but have chosen to include my DC & now I feel awful.

It’s too late to invite these 2 kids - the activity is booked & paid for & we’ve already got the maximum number of kids. I’m worried that if the parents find out this might cause a bit of a rift, but given that we’re now going to their DCs parties so close to my own DCs birthday they’re bound to ask what my DC is doing and/or find out from someone else.

Do I keep quiet & hope they don’t find out or do I fess up, admit that I should have thought more carefully about who was invited & perhaps invite them out/round separately? I know this is only a kids birthday party but friendships have ended over lesser things & I really don’t want anyone to be offended.

Arrange a small extra activity for the old friends

Oh god, I think I would organise a mini party involving the two friends just and your dc and maybe not mention the other one😂 you could write it off as just the school friends maybe if you get rumbled!!!! It’s a tricky one though! You are not wrong to not invite them but I do see how rightly or wrongly it might cause you trouble down the line😂😂

Tackle it head on.

“Isn’t this all difficult to navigate now they are in different classes. How are you managing with it? We invited kids from the new class but I felt really weird about it all. It’s so lovely to see you though. Shall we get the kids together again some other time?”

I would have invited them, but that doesn't always go well either - your child might ignore the old friends in favour of the current friends.

Just mention to the parents that your child is having a very small party this year, but you would like to do something separate with the two old friends (bowling or something). They will get along fine when it is just them.

The parents will understand. This happens when classes are reshuffled - the children adapt to survive!

I would do a party just with them

As said. Another mini party/sleepover type thing.

Sleep over for old friends with a birthday ‘dinner party’

Awww the social etiquette of kids parties. I am rubbish at this and would rather invite the world than have anyone feel left out, so I'm possibly not a good person to listen to but here goes.

Is your DS thinking of going to the party of his friends he didn't invite to his ??? (Sorry if I missed that bit)
I think I would have a chat about what's kind and inviting people back if they invite you etc etc then squeeze them into your party.

If he's not going to theirs then just say you are busy and then chit chat about day to day things and how "oh how it's nice the adults can stay friends even though the boys have drifted a bit, because you know kids they will back best mates in a few months..hahaha" type conversation

I'd invite them for a birthday tea, maybe watch a DVD and give party bags as this should be straightforward to organize and will avoid any problems further down the line. You could style it out as your DD asking to do something separate with these two friends.

I would invite the old friends. Say to your DS that that he is invited to theirs so it's polite to return the favour.

I'd do a special outing or thing for them..

Oh sorry I just realised you're at maximum party capacity!

(Overbook like the airlines do and count on some kids not turning up?! (Don't do this!))

Dvd and pizza...or cinema and pizza if you are feeling flush!

Why on earth would you organize a sleepover with them if they don't really hang out?
If you feel guilt just get them extra nice presenta

You haven’t accepted the invitation to their parties though, have you? Because that’s not really done if you’re DC don’t consider them close enough friends any more, to the point they’re not invited to their party. Of course they’ll find out that your DC had a party and they weren’t invited. Kids chat about this stuff. It causes much confusion and upset so be straight.

I wouldn't even worry about it, your ds didn't want to invite them that's fine, that doesn't mean he shouldn't go to theirs or you should feel guilty. Last time I looked party invites didn't have conditions attached.

Does your son want to go to their parties? If so I should imagine they're still pretty friendly, just not 'Best Friends', so if they're friends with each other 2 I'd arrange a sleepover or something, if your son is keen. It might rekindle the friendship.

I’d also arrange to do something special with the old friends. It’s a pity your son didn’t want to invite them over the new friends. I think the parents could well be upset especially when your son turns up at their children’s parties and then they discover that their children aren’t invited to your son’s party.

I'd be arranging something fun with just the old friends and make out it was always the plan to do something special with them rather than the kids from new class party.

Is the party on your ds’s actual Birthday? If not, could you organise something involving the 2 old friends on the actual day, which might be seen as being more of a special occasion, as in, he wanted to have his oldest friends to celebrate on the day?

Did you ask your son if he wants to attend/? He may not want to . It could be their parents inviting rather than the children.

"Make new friends, but keep the old,
One is silver, but the other's gold".

You should have invited the two old friends. The omission is going to come back and bite you in the butt.

I'd organise an informal get together, no presents required, with the old friends. I'd encourage your DS to avoid burning his boats in the future.

Invite them or do a separate additional birthday thing? A birthday tea?

Arrange something with the two friends. Sleepover & DVD, pizza out, trip to cinema or something like that. It will extend the birthday fun & avoid upsetting anyone.

Do an extra activity with the 2 friends. If they’re a different friendship group to the others that’s the perfect excuse for having 2 events. Otherwise I think it’s embarassing that your child has accepted their invitations and they may well regret ignoring their old friends