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Original poster

DS18 absolutely smashed

26 replies

DungareesAndTrombones · 27/01/2024 00:44

Anyone still up? Just had a knock on the door from a hysterical girl saying my DS was absolutely smashed, passed out in the middle of the road. We went and picked him up where he promptly vomited down us and himself. Got him cleaned up and I'm laying in bed next to him.

This is after taking an overdose 2 weeks ago - I suggested that going out was not the best thing to do but he said he would be fine.

I just fucking want to fucking scream.

OP posts:
2chocolateoranges · 27/01/2024 00:46

Oh the joys of teenagers!

sending lots of sympathy your way.

LightSpeeds · 27/01/2024 00:48

Thinking of you (had this with one of mine when she was 14. Phone call from a stranger one Saturday night saying DD was trashed on vodka in the middle of the main road)...

SoDoffYourHat · 27/01/2024 00:53

He's so lucky to have a mum like you to clean him up and stay with him overnight. I hope he can get medical help with the issues that led to his overdose; it sounds as though he has tried to self-medicate with alcohol, as so many have done, me included. I am sure with the support you are giving him, he will get through this difficult time Flowers

DawnBreaks · 27/01/2024 00:56

Oh it's awful isn't it. This sounds so much like my elder sons behaviour when he was that age. Thinking back, I have no idea how we got through it all but we did. He was in such a dark place poor kid. Medication (anti depressants) helped and we just tried to love and support him as much as we could. When he started uni things slowly changed and he seemed to come out the other side. He's a lovely, well balanced 30 year old now and makes me proud every day. Hang in there OP, it's tough being a teen AND a parent of teens!

ManchesterBea · 27/01/2024 01:01

Sounds like he's got terrible problems, hope you can get him some help ❤️

determinedtomakethiswork · 27/01/2024 01:02

You must be so upset. I hope you've got a bucket next to him and otherwise all you can do is go to sleep, close to him. I hope he feels really rough in the morning!

MiddleagedBeachbum · 27/01/2024 01:03

Oh bless him, I hope you can help him through this xxx

crumblingschools · 27/01/2024 01:05

@determinedtomakethiswork this doesn’t sound like a foolish teen drinking too much, and a hangover will sort it out

EmmaEmerald · 27/01/2024 01:08

edit - meant to quote the poster who hopes he has a hangover - @determinedtomakethiswork

Probably a lot less unwell than after he overdosed.

OP I very much feel for your son and wish him all the best.

I know how little help is out there but there might be more if you have any funds.

Original poster
DungareesAndTrombones · 27/01/2024 01:14

Thanks all. The support since the overdose has been none existent despite 24 hours on a drip to reverse the damage to his liver.

I love him so so much but he seems so determined to hurt himself. He is trans too and God knows what could have happened to him in that state?

He's asleep next to me, breathing calmly. I'm going to stay up another couple of hours just in case. His poor friend was so upset.

And I thought having little kids was hard! What an idiot!

OP posts:
Original poster
DungareesAndTrombones · 27/01/2024 01:16

@DawnBreaks he seemed to be doing so good at Uni but took an overdose just after New Year and then another 2 weeks ago so I just dont know. It is just awful I'm signed off work with stress and don't know wtf to do for the best.

OP posts:
Restinggoddess · 27/01/2024 01:17

Been there with my eldest - who ended up on a drip in hospital ( which meant they didn’t have a hangover the next day which I thought might have helped them grow up a bit)
For whatever reason he is in a dark place and has made some worrying decisions- hopefully you get to the root of this.
I can appreciate you are worried and angry but he is not the first teenager to do this Good job he had a friend to come and get you
When he is sober and ready you need to talk to him - my eldest is also nearly 30 and despite the bumpy ride we had with incidents like this they came through it

Sending you understanding, sympathy and best wishes - they don’t tell you about this in the baby magazines!

Restinggoddess · 27/01/2024 01:19

Let him drop out of uni if that’s what he wants - it’s not for everyone
Be prepared for him to tell you something he thinks is bad but maybe you don’t

Get him to a GP - he needs some professional help

Good luck OP

OneFrenchEgg · 27/01/2024 01:20

Hi op. Same phone call a few weeks ago and similar fears of vulnerability - the only silver lining tonight is the friend who knocked on your door (and who called me) rather than walking away.
Keep him at floor level, mine fell out of bed and was sick in his room - I made him a nest in the bathroom.
Find an LGBTQ parent group or support line - speaking to another parent can be really beneficial.

EmmaEmerald · 27/01/2024 01:26

OP have the crisis team been involved at all?

Two overdoses and now an attempt to do it by alcohol....you know what I'm saying, it's three attempts in a month.

Not sure what happens when you fill this in but while you're up, it might be a worth a try?

https://www.nhs.uk/service-search/mental-health/find-an-urgent-mental-health-helpline

I'm off to bed now, I hope you get some help for him and you.

DawnBreaks · 27/01/2024 08:20

It's good you have a little breathing space with time off work. I remember son having some counselling from a youth mental health team ,which was put in place by his GP. It was a while ago now and I imagine it will be much more difficult to access these days sadly. Is there a student mental health support team at the Uni? Be kind to yourself OP. It's really tough and draining both mentally and physically. Hope you both got some sleep last night. Today is a new day. 😘

mum11970 · 27/01/2024 08:38

Mental health services in this country are absolutely woeful and are letting down so many people. All I can think of is contacting every mental health service you can until you get some help or if you have the funds seek private therapy until you can access help from the NHS. Definitely get in touch with the university MH and LGBT services if you think this is the root of your DS’s distress. Just talking to other people in the same situation as your DS may help immensely.

migigo · 27/01/2024 08:45

There's an intensive mental health support team available through a&e (not all hospitals have psych a&e so check which) dd got good support - it was an alternative to sectioning, two weeks daily visits, dropping to twice a week then once a week we took her, all during look down too! It was designed for people who had good home support to keep them out of hospital. We actually then shipped them to a relative who could dedicate months to getting them better (I was working outside despite lockdowns due to role) and I'm clutching my wooden bedside table saying she's fine now

stealtheatingtunnocks · 27/01/2024 09:14

You mention that your son has gender issues. This is going to be an unpopular suggestion - but it might be worth having a chat with Genspect who support kids who wobble with gender or detransition.

its a taboo in the trans communities and people who detrans or who have side effects of treatment are not encouraged to speak about it all, and the feelings are often huge.

My kid had a wobble at the same age and it was terrifying, the suicide attempts were real and gender was an issue - I’m very glad I asked him if he was sure he was sure about his gender plans.

6 years on and he’s doing great - but it was a tough time. Look after yourself, I wish I’d been better at doing that.

Original poster
DungareesAndTrombones · 27/01/2024 10:09

The crisis team saw him in hospital but haven't been in touch since despite me chasing them up about a plan.

Thank you all for the support it is just awful. I'll contact the MH team again today and let them know the state he was in last night.

How ironic that I feel hungover?

OP posts:
Original poster
DungareesAndTrombones · 27/01/2024 10:11

@stealtheatingtunnocks I fucking love that site?! I'm firmly gender critical and think DSs trans issues are tied up in his ASC, relationship with Dad and the state of the world. I'll definitely get some support from them thank you so much. X

OP posts:
FusionChefGeoff · 27/01/2024 10:12

This is heartbreaking - sounds like your child has some deep seated MH issues that they are wildly trying to "solve" with very damaging consequences.

Can you afford private counselling?

2chocolateoranges · 27/01/2024 10:14

migigo · 27/01/2024 08:45

There's an intensive mental health support team available through a&e (not all hospitals have psych a&e so check which) dd got good support - it was an alternative to sectioning, two weeks daily visits, dropping to twice a week then once a week we took her, all during look down too! It was designed for people who had good home support to keep them out of hospital. We actually then shipped them to a relative who could dedicate months to getting them better (I was working outside despite lockdowns due to role) and I'm clutching my wooden bedside table saying she's fine now

This is so true, mental health support is woeful.

i have a sibling who attempted suicide, in a coma for a month, woke up, spoke to the mental health team and 2 days later after waking up they signed them off, never to be seen again! How can someone try to kill themself in a catastrophic way be signed off after 2 days? It’s unbelievable.

@DungareesAndTrombones I really hope your teen gets the help and support they need.

DrRuthGalloway · 27/01/2024 10:17

Another autistic kid caught up in the trans thing. It's so sad. I just can't. I am sorry, OP.

Spirallingdownwards · 27/01/2024 10:25

I know this will sound harsh and can only imagine what you are going through after your child has tried to end his life but if yoh are gender critical are you really the best one to be helping him at this time? Please get him to seek some professional help even if on a private basis.