What world records might you have broken today?

[ShinyHatStand]

Reckon I'm a shoo-in for 'most socks dropped when carrying a load of washing downstairs'

And in with a shout for 'longest time spent trying to open a front door with a office key'

You?

I'd probably win both the number of days gone without washing my hair and grammage of Dorito crumbs down my bra. It has been a week

Most half-arsed use of a drill, including WHERE ARE MY FUCKING RAWLPLUGS!!!

The most bitten tongue for when work"mates" tell blatant lies

The longest "quick nap". Lay down on the sofa for half an hour at 11am and woke up when the kids got home from school.

I also broke my own personal record for most unnecessary comments to learner driver ds17 during a 4 minute drive along a straight road. I just can't help myself.

@User2292994 , I think you are my hero , that's a epic short nap !

Feeds, no idea what's going on with my 6 month old but I can't be in the same room as him without hjm demanding a feed. My partners taken him out for a walk to give me a break

I'm currently in the running for the title of "world snottiest nose"

And also in the running for the record of "she seemed normal a second ago and has now lost her shit" (relating to dinner being made and instructions I'd left not being listened to, resulting in overdone and underdone food simultaneously)

The most eye rolls ever in a workday.

The world record for the most number of times 'For Fuck's Sake' has been uttered under my breath while trying to manage shitty work stuff with an 'ill' four year old who threw up once and is now feeling fine and on excellent form.

Chore dodging.
Day's not over but I'm currently playing on 98% chores dodged.

I think I might win at the most half hearted attempt at cleaning walking boots.

I think I could win 'looking like a work-shy, task dodger' today. I was trying really hard to pull my weight but I'm very slow as I'm still learning and my internet is very slow so I look like I've done not a lot, but I tried really hard! And then discovered a fair bit of what I did do was a waste of time!!

Longest afternoon nap on a day off work.

Probably beaten the world record for longest time it takes to get shoes on a 4 year old.

Procrastination.

Longest time taken to fill in a form. Apparently my new GP wants a full medical history as told by me. JUST LOOK UP THE NHS NUMBER I HAVE GIVEN YOU AND FIND EVERYTHING YOU WISH TO KNOW

I look forward to completing my child's form after a suitable recovery period.

The number of haribo sweets shoved in my mouth in one go whilst hiding said stash to stop me eating them like popcorn.

Oh I just moved and was a bit suspicious not to get anything like this

They probably haven't got round to me yet. Yikes. I was hoping that a) they'd get the info from my NHS number and b) that they don't waste time on this.

I did fill in a form on the NHS website when I transferred?

I wish you a speedy recovery 💐

My job includes answering queries from participants about events that we are running. Today a very clear set of instructions for an upcoming event was sent to all participants. So I have spent most of the day replying to people who very clearly haven't bothered to read any of it.

My world record for the day is 'Number of times in one day that someone has resisted the urge to write JUST READ THE SODDING INSTRUCTIONS!!!!!'

Lying in bed scrolling through Mumsnet. (c.13 hours so far. Quick break for soup and toast.)

Longest time taken to hang up one load of washing. I just could not be arsed today.

Most times asking five year old not to swing on door frames/handles

Worlds largest pile of clean washing currently mounded up on the bed and the worlds smallest amount of motivation to sort/put it away.

Most toblerone eaten in one sitting by a human

😵‍💫

Most obscure things stored in a bra.

Tonight, I took my bra off for a shower, there was a key, small toy duck, bank card, 20p coin, drumstick lolly, a receipt and a lighter (non-smoker).

Most number of times a person forgets and then excitedly remembers that it's the Traitors final tonight.

Number of days I’ve had a trapped nerve in my neck/shoulder (15).
Loudest decibels of groans during hour long deep tissue massage to try to ease the above.