Generally too sad, my life is sad.

[SadlyToo]

This is not an ironic, lightweight comment. Or meant to be over-heavy either. Just the amount of crap I’ve been through, it’s been genuinely horrendous.

my feeling is that my life just too sad? Honestly, too much of an all-round failure?

I’m late 50s btw, so even the “hope” of one’s 40/s and 50/s are now, more of a mirage.

I should add in probably quite positive in person - and I totally NEVER inflict my sadness and negativity on others. I would say I’m a positive, loving person even (though where does that get me lol 😂!)

I’m surrounded by quite conventional types eg married, divorced, nice grown up kids, got half the house or more blah de blah.

But my whole life is gone.to.fuck, really, even though sometimes I enjoy or accept it in my own way ../. I’m super-independent etc.

But I can’t share it with anyone (friends, family).

WWYD? The sadness of shit parents, shit naive life etc? Difficult outcomes, including ill-health. Sorry a bit random 🥂

Everything @ArchetypalBusyMum said. I tried to write something similar but you put it much better. I’m sorry life has been hard to you @SadlyToo . I hope things turn a corner for you

So sorry to hear this OP if you're still here.

Not having nurturing parents sets you up for bad times. Ill health in top must be dire.

Please talk to your friends. I'd hate to think my friends kept such sadness locked away. Stay here if you can. Inbox me if you want to chat I'm a good listener.

@ArchetypalBusyMum I have a friend like that too. Just when you think there's something bright happening the rug gets pulled. She's so lovely and positive too. Thankfully she's open and honest with me.

In case you aren't aware, the reply button doesn't work (told to MNHQ many times). So you need to quote the poster you're replying to, or @ them.

I'm hoping you were eye rolling at one of the sanctimonious types.

@Maddy70 the OP is ill and understandably depressed (I assume). It’s so difficult when someone is ill to keep picking themselves back up.

My life is a similar, hopeless mess OP. Once upon a time I was married and owned a house. But it turned out I was married to a narcissist and that I am autistic. Then I had two autistic children and got divorced. Relationship with another (different type of) narcissist. Turned out my mother is also a narcissist🙄. Now I live in my mother’s house in a town four hours away from my friends because all the stress has wrecked my physical and mental health and I can’t work. Every few weeks I have a huge crisis and can barely function.

I too want the little cottage in the middle of nowhere with books, an open fire and lots of pets but I can’t afford it. My youngest DS is doing well at uni and I plough on trying to keep things stable for him and keep a roof over his head. I have two lovely little dogs too. But my life seems to be over really. If I win the Euromillions jackpot this evening I’ll buy you a cottage.

OP, really sorry to hear you're feeling this way when I was having a tough time, I found the book 'Things Get Better' by Katie Piper really helped me.

Im sorry you took it that way. If you saw my previous post it would have more context. I have been where you are. Sometimes you need straight talking ..(after youve done the boxes things I mentioned earlier) only you can make this change also you mentioned drinking. You know that's only going to make you feel worse.i dont feel i need to share my own story because i have used the methods i mentioned in a past post and i rarely give it headspace. Which is where you would like to be. You're beating yourself up (and others that try to help) sympathising doesn't change your situation it doesnt actually even make you feel better. It reinforces your own doubts and fears
Acknowledge them , draw your boxes on a piece of paper then focus on the box of things you can change. Do the small easy changes first it will make. Such a difference tick them off so you feel a sense of achievement

Im sorry if i upset you i was trying to help based o. My experience

@Maddy70
surely you would be self aware enough to realise that it’s not one size fits all? That just because something worked for you it doesn’t work for others? Also that this is a process and it takes time. Eventually maybe OP will be able to take steps forward to change things but you need to be mentally able to do that. OP needs to be heard and met where she is right now and that’s not in a place where she can start to make the changes. It’s a one small step at a time thing and those steps look different for everyone.
well done to you for doing it your way and getting through…but don’t put that onto others. It just makes them feel like they’re failing and you’re judging. Posters like you do so much harm. If you want to give good advice, how about becoming more trauma informed!