Is there a word for this?

[icallitasplodge]

People who are unable to recognise quality.

People who might look at a pair of cheap plastic shoes and think they are exactly the same as a pair of leather shoes with hard wearing soles.

or who buys Shein dress and think it is exactly the same as one from say, Reiss. They won’t look at the lining or the slightly frayed edges or that’s it’s likely to go up in flames, they just think it’s all the same.

I have a friend like this and while I love her, it’s becoming hard when we are picking a restaurant as she will consistently find somewhere that’s 1 star cleanliness and won’t listen to anyone (not just me) who says that’s not ideal. It’s like she’s a homing pigeon to these places. If we suggest somewhere else that’s also cheap but is clean, she’s say it’s the same. This then made look at everything else, I wonder if she doesn’t look very closely at things.

undiscerning, is that the word? I don’t think it is.

Ooh I’ve googled it and I think undiscerning is the word.

Not saying Shein or plastic shoes are rubbish btw, just that they are of an entirely different quality and not the “same” just because they are both clothing items 🤣

You don't get to be particularly discerning if you grow up poor or with low self worth- just a thought. She may be echoing her childhood.

When I was young I didn't really understand quality as anything in my life was the cheapest possible and what I was worth. Looking too close wasn't wise. Sailing through blindly wasn't too bad a survival strategy at the time...

Maybe accept her as is without looking down on her, just overrule her on the food booking, that it's fine for her to be good with something, and you not to be.

I’m not looking down on her, I honestly don’t care at all what she’s wearing. I wear Shein and all that myself but I know it’s not exactly the same as something from a high end shop. Fair enough.

its that she thinks a one star restaurant (means almost closed down or has an infestation) is the same as a 4 or 5 star one. I don’t eat when I go to her gatherings now as she gets catering - she isn’t poor.

This thread isn't going to go well.sorry op, I think you've worded it really badly but I kind of get what you mean.

Sorry if it comes over wrong, I was trying to warn you against finding yourself sliding into looking down, because when you start looking into how 'discerning' someone is or isn't it's easy to start judging and you said you love her but it's becoming hard when picking restaurants, so I was trying to suggest a best way forward...

I’m looking for the word for this. She has the money to go anywhere she wants but she honestly thinks a place that doesn’t pass food standards is the same as a Michelin. Not joking 🤣

And then I just thought, she’s not just like it with food, she’s like it with everything. And looked for a word for it. Maybe it isn’t discerning, maybe there’s a better word. That’s why I asked.

I will happily wear stuff from shoe zone but I know in myself that they are not the same as a more expensive shop made by a craftsman. She really can’t tell the difference I think.

It’s not just me that mentions the food aspect, some of us say let’s eat at home instead (of risking it and wasting money on a rubbish place) but she thinks it’s just people being difficult and we can’t not invite her.

All I can tell you is when I was younger I had enough sense to see that frayed material on seams showed clothes up as cheap.
So, I carefully French seamed all my kids clothes, to hide the cheapness of the material for them.
I didn't understand that to others it didn't make the material I was using to make them, look any the less cheap.
I just thought it was about frayed seams showed less time spent = lower quality.

I can see the difference between cheap and quality fabric now, but I couldn't really then. School gate could and had plenty to say, while I literally just couldn't see the differences they could.

I really would never say anything to her about the clothes. I think people have run with that as I opened with it but it’s about us wanting to go out with her but she insists on dubious places.

The food, it’s not about money. We suggest places just as cheap that aren’t 1 star cleanliness. I only even thought about the clothes because it clicked she’s like it about everything. One of her friends got a velvetiser and she said it was the same as a kettle.

I do get that, just I can explain my inability to see difference with material and clothes more than anything else because I have a concrete example to go back to.
I also get that it isn't about money now, but it might be about a lack of it earlier shaping later attitudes? It also might not be of course.

You got me looking for a word too, didn't find one but came across this:

Low quality goods: The Underestimated Power of Inferiority.

How Low-Quality Goods Impact Our Perception of Value.

In amongst it was this:

"Inferior goods can lower our expectations. If we become accustomed to using low-quality products, we may start to expect less from the products we buy in general. This can lead to a cycle of settling for less, which can be difficult to break out of."

I'm not explaining myself well, and it probably needs a psychologist to unpick it, but it chimed with my sense of how background can forge understanding of value or lack of it...

Who cares is she can't see the difference in quality or not. Does it matter as long as she's happy with what she's buying?

And as for a velvetiser. Wtf???

I used to work with someone who was a right cheapskate, who would say the food was "absolutely beautiful" at a Beefeater or Brewers Fayre where he'd paid £7 for two main courses. No, mate, that food is not "absolutely beautiful", good food costs a lot more than that.

Not that I have anything against a Beefeater or Brewers Fayre, but fine dining it is not.

He was also really dismissive of my preference for Egyptian cotton bed linen. He had no idea what it was like to sleep in decent quality (expensive) bed linen and I used to feel quite sorry for him. But not too much, as he was a knob.

I think the word might be "sensible" or " pragmatic" or "realistic" or something along those lines

Well we care if we want to see her but she insists on her choice of restaurant (on her birthday or something) which has almost been shut down for vermin 😭 it starts to become a situation where we don’t want to go out and she thinks we are just being picky because in her mind there’s no difference between a clean please and an unclean place.

I don’t care what she wears, I care what I eat.

I really don’t mind eating anywhere - price isn’t the thing. As long as it’s not going to be on Ramseys kitchen nightmares.

Is the food good though? I eat out a lot and I have to say, I have never looked up the official hygiene rating of a restaurant… I’ll look at reviews and if people are reporting getting sick I won’t go there but assuming they aren’t, I’ll go on how good the food is. Admittedly I live in a place where restaurants will die fast if they aren’t good.

I know I’m missing your wider point…

I had a friend like this.

She was just tight as a duck's arse.

Her and her DH both worked p/t in professional jobs when young, but still had to have the 5* AI/ skiing holidays, nice house in a desirable area.

I believe she did it be being tight with everything. Not cautious, not frugal, just bloody tight.

Would always go with wet hair to the hairdressers. Tiled their new bathroom really badly themselves. Would only ever order a Margarita pizza and a glass of water when out for a meal. Wore worn-out, sweat engrained clothes. Never had a single nice accessory... a belt, bag, nice jacket. Tight with presents. Social things really diminished, like ' let's not meet for coffee, come to mine and I can make you a Nescafé'.

I know this all sounds sensible but it was bloody tight. Hard to describe actually.

My DGM used to have a saying to describe that attitude, that expresses exactly what you mean - it was 'never mind the quality, feel the width'

People have been sick. She gets sick a lot and just says it’s a bug. 😭 there have been videos of one place online.

she’s nice but how do I say “sorry hun, you picked a shit hole again?” She’ll argue the point that it isn’t because in her mind, it’s no different.

I don’t think she’s tight. I think she can’t tell the difference. And that’s the word I’m missing! 🤣

This is really interesting. It could be value related.

Undiscriminating maybe?

I think that sometimes she is right! I went through a phase of buying Hobbs T-shirts. They were lovely but cost about £35 10 years ago. Then one day I had a clean T-shirt emergency and in extremis I had to go to Primark where a very similar T-shirt cost £2.50.

When I eventually got the T-shirts home and examined them side by side I couldn't see any difference between them. Fabric quality and weight, stitching, design were all identical. I'm sure they were made on the same production line.

Same with restaurants. A (inevitably) cooked remotely and reheated lasagne or shepherds pie will be very similar whether you buy it in the Harvester or the Ivy. And a high end restaurant is sadly as likely to cut corners on hygiene as a high street caff.

Don't get me wrong - I can be discerning. I buy naice bags and shoes, I love 'proper' jewellery amd you couldn't pay me to eat cheap chocolate but price is definitely not always an indicator of quality.

I get that sometimes there’s no huge difference in clothing items, especially basics. But alot of the time, there are. This isn’t about the price.

A 1 star food rating needs MASSIVE overhaul compared to somewhere with a five: even a standard McDonald’s or KFC always gets a five, four at worst. I’d even eat at a 3 which means it’s passable. A one is about a month from being closed. Even a frozen lasagne is probably stored in a fridge not always plugged in, and heated in a rotted microwave. At a 1 there will be clear evidence of vermin. Why do that when you could pay the same price and just acknowledge it’s not the same.

I'm reading here wondering if there is a word for the opposite? My sister has to have the absolute best of everything. You could decide to go for a coffee but we have to seek out this 'little place she knows' where they import particular beans etc. I was visiting a few years ago and we had to travel half way across London because some place does an amazing egg bendict or something. She spends hours scouring through menus and restaurant reviews and will harp on about the chef here trained under blah blah. She literally researches her meals. It's exhausting!!

I’ve actually looked it up. A 1 star would score just 5 “yes’s” on this list.

It’s so not the same, it’s a clear cut comparible score. 😬

https://www.food.gov.uk/sites/default/files/media/document/food-safety-checklist.pdf