Thread 12 - TalkLair: “I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.”

[Kucinghitam]

(Previous thread 11).

The days are gradually growing longer, but the worst of the winter weather is not yet behind us. In the TalkLair, we remain hunkered down keeping cosy and warm. The hearth is glowing, the walls covered in dubious artwork, books by non-approved authors line the shelves, rugs are down on the floors (and assorted pets curled up on them).

We just won’t mention the gnawed bones of our prey over there in the corner of the cave…

Thanks heavens for the Saint of Poo! Glad you're feeling better Mouse.

I have diverticulosis which occasionally flares into diverticulitis so it’s very important to me to be “regular”. I don’t pray but I will offer a hat tip to St Bonaventure as I continue to eat my breakfast of Crackling Oat Bran and high fibre granola, both of which do the trick for me, though I do eat a lot of fruit and veggies too.

Glad things are moving normally, Mouse. I had a bit of a "discussion" with the manager of our local Boots this week, having had a rare bout of constipation. She sold me Lactulose, and told me the dose was 45ml, 3 times a day. This is memorable because she pointed out that because the measuring cup is only 30ml deep, I'd need to fill it and then half fill it every time. That seemed odd to me, but whatever ...

Obviously I checked the NHS website, which says GPs will generally start you on 15ml twice a day, which is what I did. It kicked in within 48 hours, at which point I stopped it. We happened to be in Boots the following day and I mentioned this to her, at which she doubled down and said well she had read the leaflet, and you can't trust the NHS website and blah blah blah. I fear she has gone mad.

l've had to keep my eye on my bowels for the past twenty or so years - it's only just struck me as I'm typing this that constipation started at around the same time as the problems with my oesophagus started - so I'm usually careful. Prior to the cancer making things more and more difficult I was eating lots of fibre and fruit and veg which kept me regular most of the time. If I hadn't been for a couple of days I'd have some softners and a laxative and all was fine. This time I ignored the lack of movement for reasons not even known to me. It was stupid of me and by god I payed! Today has been full of movement and a stay at home day because the movement has been aggressive but so very welcome.

I've learned a very valuable lesson which is never just ignore it ever again, you startingly idiotic arsehole. In other news I got a book today which has all the patterns to make a brilliant ragdoll with a variety of clothing for her. I'm going to make it for my not biologically but definitely full of love, great-niece. I'm quite excited. I'm going to head to the fabric store on Monday and pick up some bits and pieces to get started. I always wanted a ragdoll when I was little and one year I got on who was glorious, beautiful Victorian gown and everything. She got left behind in Ireland and despite me begging it never got sent back. Maybe I'll make two ragdolls and keep one for myself!

Can I just say that 45 ml of Lactulose 3 times a day sounds, erm, explosive?

I'd forgotten about the existence of lactulose, but have now remembered some of my mother's interactions with it and all I can say is erk.

I'm lucky enough not be troubled that way most of the time, though at the start of my recent low-carb regime I had a few upsetting days - that's when stewed apple for breakfast became a habit - last year's Bramleys from my tree lasted until two weeks ago, but the shop ones are nearly as good. I really must prune and feed the tree.

I'm back in Blighty, incidentally. Not enjoying the gloom, the cold and the wind.

In my absence the cat's name has completely mutated and she now answers to MochiMochiMochi... in a high-pitched squeaky voice

(Random aerial view of Dubai by night - what a weird place it is, not my bag at all).

Welcome home @Kucinghitam! MochiMochiMochi must be so pleased to see you.

Mochi Mochi Mochi sounds like an invocation!

I love stewed Bramley apple with my breakfast!

Welcome home, Kuc! Hope MochiMochiMochi is settling in well.

Our Catalan cat was called Moixa - pronounced Mosha. It's Balearic Catalan for female cat, though on the mainland it's mostly used as an adjective meaning soft (to the touch) or sad/downtrodden (which definitely didn't apply in her case).

My DD and her family went on holiday to Dubai last year - one of the last places I would choose but they enjoyed it.

Some close friends went there for October half-term and said it was marvellous fun for all the family. The whole place seems like an artificial luxury theme park plonked in the desert, so I can see why people would find it fun. Also my DBro works part of the year in the UAE, he also dislikes the artificiality of the place, but the job pays well and enables him to support his family.

Anyway I can't talk, after all I chose to fly that route! (Damn their fabulous airline!)

My friend is cabin crew for that fabulous airline. He’s just been promoted to first class!

Ooh! Congratulations to him!

I shall dream of one day affording first class, but I think that would require my premium bonds to come in.

Fabulous airport too. I've been through there several times (without leaving the airport) and it's one of the few where a long layover is almost a pleasure.

Exactly! I don’t have that many routes to choose from to get home, and the fabulous airline and nice airport at a convenient halfway point make it pretty irresistible.

Dubai is one of the last places I’d choose as a holiday destination but can quite see why it’d be an airport stop of choice.

Kucinghitam · Today 15:15

I shall dream of one day affording first class, but I think that would require my premium bonds to come in.

I flew first class from Dubai to Perth. It was the only flight they could get me!

I've never flown first class but I have been upgraded to business class a couple of times. Once was when I was flying to Canada from the UK on my own, and an Arab sheikh's family travelling with their nanny needed a single woman to sit next to their twelve year old daughter. The other was when I was flying back to Boston from Heathrow when I'd just come out of hospital in Greece and the travel insurance company paid for it so I could lie down. Wonderful experiences, both of them. I only wish I could afford them!

As it is we usually have to end up paying for Premium Economy when DH is with me as he is tall and has long legs and simply doesn't fit in an economy seat. The one exception to this we've found is Icelandair, which has older planes with a bigger seat pitch, but you invariably have to travel via Reykjavik. The last time we did this, flying from Paris to Boston, they were so late taking off from Paris because of a plane problem that we missed our connecting flight and Icelandair had to put us up in a hotel overnight, which was fine by us.

I’ve only ever flown business class within Europe (Heathrow to Brussels and back a couple of times). Standard seats so nothing special except slightly better food and drink. Belgians assured me that Sabena (then the national airline) stood for Such A Bad Experience, Never Again but it was still much better than BA. The person next to me on one BA flight was rightly unimpressed by a member of cabin crew opening a mini bottle of champagne while leaning over her, leaving her to travel to a business meeting in a wine soaked suit!

One of my friends used to live in rural Manitoba - her farmer husband went mad and bought land there. When they came back to the UK for holidays/whatever, she used to make him dress in a suit and tie for the flight. They almost always got upgraded. And my mother once got upgraded all the way from London to Auckland, which was impressive. I practically had to drag her out of the line when the nice smiling lady-in-a-suit said "Are you travelling alone?", while she wittered on about losing her place in the queue.

I try not to be judgemental but Dubai brings it out in me. You would literally have to pay me to go there and you'd have to pay me a lot. Given that no one would do that it's safe to say I won't be visiting. Ever.

I went round to Snoop's for a bit today and had scrambled egg on a slice of toast. I managed to eat half that slice of toast with a big grin on my face.

In the car on the way there they were playing Tragedy, the Bee Gees version and I was "singing" along. When I "sing" along to the Bee Gees what I actually do is make high pitched noises in time to the lyrics/music. This had Snoop almost crying with laughter. So. On the seventeenth it's the three year anniversary of Mr Snoop dying and we're having a get together with music and stuff in what is my local pub because it's a bloody great pub. I have now promised to dress up, fake beard, etc, learn the Steps dance to Tragedy and "perform" it for her at the Mr Snoop do. The good thing is if that his first name and the initial of his surname fit into "Tragedy", so while most of the song will be high pitched noises and dance moves, "Tragedy" will be his first name and surname initial. We may be barred from the pub forever. Everyone else who's turning up may look on in horror but Snoop will love it, Mr Snoop would have loved it and that is all that matters.

The Tragedy thing is going full on mental. I've been learning the dance today which is pretty easy and I've now decided I will dress as part Bee Gee, part Steps. I have a Jesus Christ wig and beard ordered to be Bee Gee and I'm getting a cheap wedding dress from ASOS with a veil to be a Steps. The thing that will make me enjoy it the most is that it will probably only be Snoop and me who get what in the name of all the saints and holy martyrs is going on. We will love it. She doesn't know about the full costume yet. I'll be changing in the loos. I can't wait!

That sounds magnificent, Mouse!