Thread 12 - TalkLair: “I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.”

[Kucinghitam]

(Previous thread 11).

The days are gradually growing longer, but the worst of the winter weather is not yet behind us. In the TalkLair, we remain hunkered down keeping cosy and warm. The hearth is glowing, the walls covered in dubious artwork, books by non-approved authors line the shelves, rugs are down on the floors (and assorted pets curled up on them).

We just won’t mention the gnawed bones of our prey over there in the corner of the cave…

Oh god @Britinme! When does Spring come there?

@duc748 has he said why you’re not invited?

My headache is getting worse and worse and doesn’t seem to respond to painkillers. I think I’m going to have to go back to bed, hopefully K will join me.

Time to get to work, Kasper! 😀
They don't see it as a big emotional thing, just a registry office ceremony they want to share with friends. I don't imagine his half-brother, who lives in the US, will be invited either, but then, they are not really close.

It’s hard @duc748 as we have an idea about what a wedding is that generally involves family but being married is really just a legal status and it’s that that they’re going for rather than the big day. I remember years ago when two friends of mine got married with strangers off the street as witnesses without telling anyone in advance that when they told their families they’d got married the bride’s granny said that it wasn’t those that made the most fuss that stayed together the longest.

You’re close to your son and he cares about you. If this is what’s right for him and his partner then that’s what they should do. Once you start to plan a wedding it can escalate into something that costs a fortune and stresses everyone out. Something relaxed and informal with a few friends avoids the stresses and the end result (being married) is exactly the same. You can always share a nice meal and toast their new status when you see them next.

Yeah, of course, I get all that. I'm not wild about the idea, but then again, I know it's not about me.

Well, good luck to them. You can always invite a few family and friends to a party to celebrate it, at a later date.

Sorry, this made me laugh:

https://twitter.com/cnviolations/status/1764355837772824951/photo/1

@duc748 If it were me getting married that's what I'd want - like them, I view it as just a piece of paper for tax purposes! My sister got married (for NZ residence purposes) by a judge in the Rose Gardens in Auckland with just 3 people there - me and her husband's sister as witnesses and and their joint "best friend". Then they had a big barbecue in the garden and (memorably) totally forgot to cut the cake. It was really nice and they're still married 40+ years later.

Spring here is generally late April. I remember the first winter I was here there was a foot of snow over the back yard in the first week of April.

We drove to the next town over (only about five miles away) where neighbours told us they had power, and had brunch at Mr Bsgel - I had a very nice breakfast burrito and two cups of good coffee. The supermarket near us had emergency power so we did a little shopping on the way home. Still no power at home though DH's cousin three miles away has power. We passed the power company's trucks on the way home so they are working on it. My son gave me a backup power block for Christmas so I'm currently charging my phone on that.

Good luck for the big chemo, @MouseMinge.

Bah humbug to the headache, @VictorianBigot. I suspect you're right about it being hormone going 'aargggh' - the slow.fade of mine is certainly leading to more headaches (as.well as probably last weekend's migrane thing).

I hope the power company has done its thing now, @Britinme.

We have 2 identical cherry trees in pots. The one on the back patio is coming to the end of flowering, while the one on the front step is barely in bud. Lovely sunny day here today so we got a fair bit done in the garden, and the solar panels had their first >10kW day this year. It's exactly a year since they were switched on, and they've made almost 2.8MWh of electricity, and saved 2.78 tonnes of carbon emissions.

@duc748 that sounds a little awkward. I think the 'it's just a legal contract' no guests position is an easier one than the middle ground of inviting a few people but with significant gaps.

Also, if the bride (or groom) is not comfortable "performing" in public, the more low-key the better. My preference would be a registry office with two witnesses, ideally dragged in off the street. I would just run away from a large audience.

@NoBinturongsHereMate oh I would find it so satisfying to watch the kWs rack up.

Headache reached dizzying intensity so I had to go to sleep for a while. When I woke up it was largely gone so I took myself out for a short walk as the sun was setting and the moon was rising. Lots of lovely blossom en route.

@Britinme I hope that you're reading this and your power is back on. Scary stuff.

@duc748 I guess they're not seeing it as a "real wedding" which is why you're not "invited", but yes, I'd have to get my head around that as well.

I love cherry blossom most of all. I'd love to go to Japan for the festival one year. It's just so magical and I think to see it where there is almost a forest of cherry blossom might bring me to tears and I'd like that.

I got a delivery of some children's clothes yesterday. I say children, I mean teenager. I got joggers, t-shirts, tanks and a hoodie. I wore a t-shirt, joggers and the hoodie today and it all fits well which makes me feel less of an imaciated freak. My hope is that they're too small for me in the next few months but it feels good to have a decent amount of clothing that looks and feels good for however long I need it.

I posted and seem to have missed a lot of posts that where there before I posted and I've only just seen now. I may be losing my mind.

@VictorianBigot I hope the headache has subsided. I mostly hope you can get to the bottom of this as it sounds so horribly debilitating and it must be playing havoc with your mental health in a you just don't know when it will be okay, when it will happen and so on and so on. Big love to you.

Power is still out :-(. We went out for pizza. It's bloody cold indoors and we're likely to go to bed ultra early to keep warm. I am charging my phone in the car on the way home from the pizza place as I write.

Hello thread people. Sorry to hear about wedding woes and headaches. I'd be absolutely gutted if it were my DD not inviting me to her wedding, even if it was informal, especially if she had invited others so I feel your pain @duc748 .

I've been having a nice time off work, been working like a dog since start of December,50-60 hour weeks, so gave myself some time off and have really enjoyed it. Me and Mrs Pike went to see that fillum Late Night With The Devil and it was great campy horror fun, highly recommended.

Mrs Pike is hoping to complete the house sale first week in April, so that will keep us busy and we have had some trips to local dog shelters! With any luck we'll have a dog by summer!

I love cherry blossom most of all. I'd love to go to Japan for the festival one year.

Me too! It’s my dream to go to Japan in the spring. I want to bathe in cherry blossoms and eat lots of umeboshi and stroke cats.

I feel so much better tonight so hopefully it was just the initial hormone face off. I’m sure there’ll be more horribleness to come but for now I’m just really grateful not to have a headache. I feel like I need to apologise to my ovaries… it’s a bit of a sad feeling to be deliberately attacking and shutting down a part of myself. I’ve been told to give it three months to assess whether it’s working or not. If it does work my quality of life would be much improved, which is an exciting thought.

@Britinme I hope you’re tucked up and managing to keep warm.

@Dotellhimpike looking forward to dog photos in the summer.

I highly recommend Japan in cherry blossom season. It's beautiful. And it's not just in the parks - although that's the highest concentration - little puffs of pink pop up all over the place. Mountainsides covered in 'ordinary' green trees or bamboo¹ have random splashes where a little patch of cherries has established itself.

¹ Bamboo forests are quite something in their own right, especially for a night time walk. Stems as thick as your thigh and higher than you can see.

That does sound lovely! I’d live to see loads of cherry blossom and I really like bamboo too.

I like bamboo too so a mixture of those forests, which sound amazing and cherry blossom sounds heavenly.

I'm glad the headache's gone @VictorianBigot !

Hello @Dotellhimpike lovely to see you and I'm glad you've been having a good time off. 50-60 hour weeks are bloody hard to deal with. I can't wait to see your dog!

And talking of dogs, I got some photos from Snoop today. She's loving India and she visited a dog cuddling cafe!

@duc748 I get your conflicted feelings about your son's wedding plans. But I do think it's nice that he wanted to check in with you - your relationship is still strong and loving, even though he wants to do this thing in his own way.

My brother got married in a similarly minimalist way, a couple of years ago. His other half is Thai, they live in Thailand but make regularly visits back home. They just figured it was "easier" for immigration purposes to have the marriage certificate, so popped into their local town hall for their 15-minute appointment, no special outfits, no guests apart from a pair of witnesses. He hates fuss and being in the spotlight. My mother still hasn't quite got over it, she was badgering him for ages to at least have a little post-wedding celebration back home.

We also once served as witnesses for our friends' registry office hitching. We were the only adults there (apart from the registrar). The other attendees were their kids and our kids. Then we walked from the office to a local cafe for a celebratory meal, where the only nod to the occasion was that they'd pre-booked the table.

Healing thoughts to @MouseMinge and @VictorianBigot hope you both feel better soon.

Re the wedding, I can understand how you feel, @duc748 but then we did the same when we had our civil ceremony last year and when my dad and step mother got married us kids didn't find out until they got home afterwards. Like us, they only had two witnesses and no guests.

My twin stayed this weekend and we made bread using the new method he's been raving about and it turned out very well indeed, though we made a great deal of mess and there was flour everywhere. He somehow managed to get little blobs of dough on the cupboard doors and on various kitchen items which I didn't notice until it had started drying, so it needed scraping off. That's so typical of him, he's one of the messiest people I've ever known. Mr Veg wisely stayed out of the way and went outside to chop wood but he wants to learn the method too, so more mess is on the horizon.

That's the same no-knead method we use ChezKuc, it never occurred to me to shape it into baguettes! <dim>

My mum and I were once stopped in the street in Edinburgh by a nice young man from the registry office, and asked to be witnesses to a wedding. I've often wondered about the couple involved; what led them to that point? They definitely weren't local. And I do hope things worked out for them.

As I make 95% of my own bread anyway, I certainly will have a go at the baguettes. That is ordinary strong flour, though, right?

I haven't made bread in ages, have gone off bready things a bit. I'm coming to the end of a batch of kimchi I made so going to try to make some more today.