Thread 12 - TalkLair: “I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.”

[Kucinghitam]

(Previous thread 11).

The days are gradually growing longer, but the worst of the winter weather is not yet behind us. In the TalkLair, we remain hunkered down keeping cosy and warm. The hearth is glowing, the walls covered in dubious artwork, books by non-approved authors line the shelves, rugs are down on the floors (and assorted pets curled up on them).

We just won’t mention the gnawed bones of our prey over there in the corner of the cave…

I don't remember that dip-your-headlights clip but I do remember that all those Public Information Films seemed to be incredibly old-fashioned, as though they were modelled on WW2 posters.

We had loads of public information films in Malaysia, but not in a WW2 style! I remember a scary upsetting one about playing on train tracks, and when I described it to DH he said it was uncannily similar to the one he grew up with. There was one about not putting weed-killer in a soft drinks bottle, clearly aimed at rural agricultural communities (it was set in an otherwise idyllic farming kampung). There was one about saving electricity, which showed multiple family members using the iron one after the other, for ironing single items - I took against that one immediately because who the fuck irons a single handkerchief?

I remember the playing on train tracks one, it was super scary. There was no fannying about when it came to "YOU WILL DIE!" Public information films. I both liked and feared them.

@MouseMinge I've seen crossing the train tracks PIFs on the TV recently. I remember some videos in the news last year of a man letting his children play on the tracks while scrolling on his phone. Apparently one of the children narrowly escaped stepping on the live rail.

I'd personally appreciate some PIFs on:

• Dog poo can ruin someone's day so fucking pick it up
• Don't play music through a speaker in a public place or risk getting smacked in the face
• Don't stop at the top of the escalator or you could get grabbed and thrown over the side
• Don't take up an entire aisle with your trolley or a can of Campbell's soup may make impact with your head

Re ironing - how many of us iron at all these days? I used to do loads of it when the kids were young but I rarely iron anything these days.

Don't Dazzle, Dip is definitely older than 1980. I (b.1966) remember, with my brother (b.1969) chanting it at our mother as she was driving the Morris Minor which she got rid of in 1975, so it must have been earlier than that.

We were very annoying children.

Don't boil a kettle on a boat?! That is pure mental. Also, she clearly isn't on a boat!

'Don't boil a kettle on a boat' is new to me so I had to look up why you shouldn't do it and got this: "Boiling water overflows pan and extinguishes gas flame. Without a flame failure device the gas continues to pour out and lines the bilges, eventually igniting as a gas-air mixture".

Agree, she didn't appear to be on a boat, it looked more like a normal kitchen for the time.

We still recite it now...

The scariest PIF I can remember is 'Apaches' (1977), where six children are playing on a farm and, one by one, they all get killed by farm machinery.

Vegemiteandhoneyontoast · Today 14:45

The scariest PIF I can remember is 'Apaches' (1977), where six children are playing on a farm and, one by one, they all get killed by farm machinery.

Is that the same one where the boy drowns in a slurry pit? I remember being shown PIFs in junior school and all of us who were farm kids, or farm adjacent were shown them, but not the others.

I do remember a railway and a road one.

SinnerBoy · Today 15:46

That's the one. The slurry pit scene is really grim.

Here’s an American one: https://www.instagram.com/reel/C26aKm0sZcn/?igsh=d2szcDZhdHNvMXI1

Vegemiteandhoneyontoast · Today 15:57

That's the one. The slurry pit scene is really grim.

Very much.

Meanwhile, I've been reading about the Wonka-Land fiasco and whilst it is "funny" to see the shitness, I can't help but feel sorry for the families who fell for it and are out of pocket. And also for the poor staff who had to actually deal with the situation, and probably won't get paid.

It's just the latest version of the Lapland fiascos, isn't it?

Yes, perhaps it can form part of a calendar of Shit Rip-Off Events for the year.

Nov-Dec: Winter Wonder Lapland mudpit with two sad reindeer and a sullen red-and-green-clad teen with pointy plastic ears. Santa is a drunken tramp dragged off the street.
Jan-Feb: Chocolate Willy's in an empty warehouse with a jelly bean, quarter cup of Value lemonade and three gloomy orange-painted staff wearing green wigs.
March-April: Easter Egg Bunny Hop with cardboard daffodils, a Mini Egg each and the drunken tramp re-employed to wear furry rabbit ears.

etc.

Wonka Land beggars belief. They didn't even try a little bit. To be fair even the AI visuals they put out looked quite poor and the reality was beyond anything I can imagine showing to people and expecting them not to want to kill you for your utter bastardry.

The American PIFs are fun but they're nearly all adults and I prefer it when we're scaring children because children are fearless and need to be taught that it's great to be fearless but sometimes you need to be a tiny bit less fearless, especially when trains, pylons and slurry pits are involved.

A bit of a moan. The last couple of days haven't been great in terms of chemo side effects. Yesterday I felt like pure shite and did actual vomiting which wasn't pleasant. Today I had to go for a blood test and, of course, daily radiotherapy. Thankfully I had a lift which I won't have tomorrow but I'm hoping to feel a bit better by then. I've been dizzy today and there's been a bit more vomiting. Radiotherapy was a bloody mare. Got me in the right position, the machine wasn't working properly so they had to get an engineer. It was a simple fix but lying on a slab ain't much fun. Then they got me in the right position again and nope, half way through the image isn't right. Again and by now my arms - which have to be above my head - hurt - and no again. Thankfully the next go worked but only just because I was so close to having to move my left arm which was in a lot of pain by then. I got a nice hug from one of the radiographers and lots of apologies but it wasn't their fault. It's a pain getting positioned correctly and it can take more than one go to get you just right but four goes was a bit much for poor old weakling me today. What should have taken about 10-15 minutes ended up taking about 45 and did me in.

Anyway, that's my moan. I've had to push myself to eat but have managed a couple of slices of toast with Dairylea spread - classy - so that's good. It's going to be an early night and up tomorrow for more of the same with added changing of the chemo pump. Like I said, I should be feeling a bit better tomorrow and I'll definitely be back to something approaching cancer normal by the end of the week. I wish I had a lift tomorrow but it'll just have to be train and cabs because I don't have the energy for walking to the bus stop.

That sounds grim, Mouse. I wish I could do something useful to help but can only offer virtual hugs. I hope tomorrow is better.

Hugs and sympathies Mouse. You will get through this.

Love and sympathy @MouseMinge And Dairylea on toast is 70s-tastic! right up there with butterscotch Angel Delight and Spangles!

Sympathies @MouseMinge, that does sound like a terrible couple of days I hope things are better today (I nearly said "going forward" but it's management-ese vocabulary that I dislike).

I'm sorry to hear of your continuing woes, MouseMinge and hope that it's all over soon. Nausea is one of the worst feelings, isn't it? I think I'd rather have a toothache.

Anyway, I'm just back from walking the dog. There was a queue of traffic and just ahead of me, a little old man pressed the crossing button, then skipped away, giggling like a loon!

Hope today went better, @MouseMinge - two days in a row seems Frankly A Bit Much.

@SinnerBoy There was a queue of traffic and just ahead of me, a little old man pressed the crossing button, then skipped away, giggling like a loon!

Arf! I always press the crossing buttons on the main road when I go by, but it makes absolutely no difference to the lights. It just makes the red/green man appear, which is helpful if you're on foot.

Today is Water Horse MrG's birthday, which is quite rubbish because all the decent local restaurants are closed on a Tuesday. So I have ordered a delivery from a really excellent Indian place and we are now salivating at the prospect of this.