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Original poster

DS left his phone (bus ticket) at home. What would you do?

98 replies

HowToTeach · 23/01/2024 08:01

Just had a message from his TA to say he left his phone at home, it has his bus ticket on it. I'm not sure what she is expecting me to do:
He can walk home (25 mins)

Take the bus and risk getting fined - as he has a pass and is a child this won't be the full amount if he goes to their offices in town within 5 days and presents his pass. We told him at the beginning of the school year we wouldn't pay fines for forgetting ticket, it would be his responsibility to go to the ticket office and pay the £5.

I could get the bus into town and wait 20 minutes to accompany him back BUT DD (in primary) would be stuck in the garden for at least 20 minutes until I get back as she doesn't have a key with her.

Should I just say thanks or ask the TA if I can speak to him to explain his options? (Has ASD and never forgotten before, so a new scenario for him!)

OP posts:
TeeBee · 23/01/2024 09:16

What's wrong with walking 25 minutes home? That's a short walk!

pizzaHeart · 23/01/2024 09:18

My options would be:

  • to take him bus pass during the day
  • phone TA and pass DS a message to wait you at the school library, you pick DD and come for him
  • ask someone at primary to take DD with them while you are going to pick up DS
  • another option is to ask his TA to lend him some money for the bus ticket home

i wouldn’t allow him to walk home 25 minutes without his phone when presumably it’s not what he did regularly. Plus it seems additional needs serious enough to have “his TA”

ThatBoyFromEastTennessee · 23/01/2024 09:19

What's wrong with walking 25 minutes home? That's a short walk!

Read the thread.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
RowanMayfair · 23/01/2024 09:20

ThatBoyFromEastTennessee · 23/01/2024 09:19

What's wrong with walking 25 minutes home? That's a short walk!

Read the thread.

And what? She didn't say he couldn't cope with the walk. In fact she just said he probably could.

Pibolar · 23/01/2024 09:21

Ds13 asd does this all the time, his phone is sitting here as i type.

he might surprise you and end up getting the bus back as my ds does.

i would ring TA and pass on an option….

if he can’t get in the bus he walks home or he waits there at school for you to pick him up after dd has arrived home. Whichever you think is suitable.

for future occasions i would put a plan in place eg: this is what i have done… ds tries to get bus without ticket, if not successful he has options…. Ask school reception to ring me, go to a friends house and ring from there, leisure centre, library, police station, supermarket. Worst case scenario… if I haven’t heard from him by X time he waits in the leisure centre for me to collect him. I have told him if he loses the bus pass card he pays for a new one.

rrra · 23/01/2024 09:21

My ASD secondary aged child would be anxious about this all day, and I would do whatever I could to help. I don't think this is a learning lessons situation. Everyone forgets stuff every so often. I agree with the suggestions of offering to transfer someone money so they could give the cost of bus ticket to the child.

SleepPrettyDarling · 23/01/2024 09:22

I’d ask if someone could lend him the bus fare home; send it in in cash in the morning with a box of chocolates. And tuck a bag of coins in his school bag for emergencies. Even adults forget their bus passes!

mumtumok · 23/01/2024 09:24

As a mother of Autistic children I don’t think your accepting his needs as much as you should. You sound quite pissed off with him tbh. Just pick him up

MinionKevin · 23/01/2024 09:24

I would say going forward to have an envelope in his bag with the exact change for a journey home.

Original poster
HowToTeach · 23/01/2024 09:26

@mumtumok Just pick him up and do what with DD? She's at school, I can't contact her. Leave her to come home and wait for 20 minutes in the garden in a storm?

OP posts:
CurlewKate · 23/01/2024 09:27

Can't the school lend him the bus fare? Ours would.

SportMum1982 · 23/01/2024 09:27

Is there a neighbour who can take in your DD?
So she’s not waiting in the garden?
my youngest is being assessed for various things and today she’ll have to wait in the car (with me) for her older sister due to a doctor’s appointment. Sometimes one kid is put out for the other.

You know your kids and how decisions will affect them.

mumtumok · 23/01/2024 09:28

Leave a message with the receptionist at the school and enroll her in an after school club for the day ? Or ask your sons ta to get him to wait at the library and you get him after ? There’s ways round it but today he needs his mum to pick him up

Sirzy · 23/01/2024 09:28

HowToTeach · 23/01/2024 09:26

@mumtumok Just pick him up and do what with DD? She's at school, I can't contact her. Leave her to come home and wait for 20 minutes in the garden in a storm?

Does the school not have a phone you could contact them on?

you have a child who has “his” TA, who can’t be trusted with money but you seem happy to leave him struggling?

is there no way someone can drop his phone with him during the day? It sounds like you need some sort of back up plan!

SportMum1982 · 23/01/2024 09:28

You can call your DDs school and explain the situation and to go to neighbours house?
or meet your DD and walk to him?

WhamBamThankU · 23/01/2024 09:28

It seems harsh to use this as an opportunity to make him learn when he has ASD, hasn't done it on purpose, and hasn't done it before.

usernother · 23/01/2024 09:32

If he's 14 he can walk home. It's no big deal.

eg2627 · 23/01/2024 09:36

I don’t see the big deal. He can try get on the bus, if they don’t let him, then he can walk home.

eg2627 · 23/01/2024 09:37

If you’re not working right now, can you go give him the pass?

Original poster
HowToTeach · 23/01/2024 09:37

Leave a message with the receptionist at the school
It's Tuesday, receptionist will only get the message tomorrow.

and enroll her in an after school club for the day ? 😂registration for asc for this academic year closed in April 23!

School don't lend money.

OP posts:
mumtumok · 23/01/2024 09:40

i just think your rude . Do what you will but your definitely not taking your sons needs in to consideration as a previous poster said sometimes one child has to come before another in situations like this. Poor lad.

fulgrate · 23/01/2024 09:40

I'm a bit surprised you told your disabled child he would be responsible for any fines if he forgot something Sad

I would do everything o could to take him his phone, you do t seem to consider this an options so how about sending a screenshot to some who also gets the bus?

EliflurtleAndTheInfiniteMadness · 23/01/2024 09:43

HowToTeach · 23/01/2024 09:26

@mumtumok Just pick him up and do what with DD? She's at school, I can't contact her. Leave her to come home and wait for 20 minutes in the garden in a storm?

But he's ok to be walking for 25 minutes in a storm? If its storming badly enough that she can't be outside then he shouldn't be walking either. He should get the bus and personally Id pay the fine if necessary, its a first offence, Id cut him some slack.

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 23/01/2024 09:45

I'd let him walk. But then mine walk home 45 minutes.

determinedtomakethiswork · 23/01/2024 09:46

I certainly wouldn't leave my daughter in the garden! If he's okay walking home then I think that's what he should do but otherwise I think he should get the bus and you should be at the bus stop with his pass.