Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

What point in your relationship did you buy a 'family' house?

29 replies

pleasegodletmewinthelottery · 22/01/2024 20:23

I was very lucky to buy a 2 bed flat when I was 25 (nearly 10 years ago). I just love it and I'll be honest, I am reluctant to leave it.

DP wants us to have 'our' place rather than my place. We're getting married in April (relatively small wedding but still a bloody fortune) and then we're going to TTC immediately (esp because of age). I am conscious of trying to save for all of this and house prices are so, so high. I think we should stay put for another 2/3 years but he seems to find it so important that we have a family house.

OP posts:
Dacadactyl · 22/01/2024 20:25

We had a 5 year old and were aged 25 and 27 when we bought our first house. Prior to that had lived with parents til we got married.

In your shoes I'd buy the house sooner rather than later tbh

Original poster
pleasegodletmewinthelottery · 22/01/2024 20:44

In your shoes I'd buy the house sooner rather than later tbh
Can you give me your honest reasons why?

OP posts:
Dacadactyl · 22/01/2024 20:47

I just think prices will keep on increasing and if you can afford to go now, I would.

I wouldn't fancy having a baby in a flat either, just seems more stressful (but that maybe just cos I've never lived in a flat, I don't know)

verdenate · 22/01/2024 20:47

We bought a 4 bed house after being in a relationship for 14 years and we had a 5 year old and baby. Before that we had a 2 bed flat. It would have been nice to have the house sooner but we wanted to stay fairly centrally in London, so we have to deal with very high prices. If you're looking for a place you can renovate I'd definitely get it pre-dc if you can. We've lived here for a year now and haven't managed to decorate any of the rooms.

CherryBlossom321 · 22/01/2024 20:48

We were child free, 2 months married having lived together 3 years and it was pre recession during the property boom (2006). We had a mortgaged two bed flat and moved to a three bed semi with garden. Completely different time and circumstances of course. If I was in your situation, I’d stay put a while longer, allow things to settle a bit economically.

verdenate · 22/01/2024 20:50

Dacadactyl · 22/01/2024 20:47

I just think prices will keep on increasing and if you can afford to go now, I would.

I wouldn't fancy having a baby in a flat either, just seems more stressful (but that maybe just cos I've never lived in a flat, I don't know)

We had our first dc in a flat and it was far easier than having our 2nd baby in a townhouse. No stairs to deal with and easier to chase the toddler down the small hall than up 5 flights of stairs!

Original poster
pleasegodletmewinthelottery · 22/01/2024 20:50

Neither of us have the skills to renovate so that's really out for us.

I totally get the point of the house being easier. The lower-priced houses nearby are double my current mortgage and the thought of adding nursery fees onto that as well- I feel like we'd have a better standard of life in the flat.

OP posts:
PuttingDownRoots · 22/01/2024 20:53

We bought our family home when our DDs were 10 and 8... but were living in army accommodation before that.

I had a baby in a flat and it was easier than a house in some ways... everything was easily accessed. Although the stairs were a pain!

RandomUsernameHere · 22/01/2024 20:53

When I was pregnant. We were living in a one bedroom flat though. I don't see any reason not to have a baby in a two bed. Unless it's up a lot of stairs with no lift.

Original poster
pleasegodletmewinthelottery · 22/01/2024 20:54

It is indeed up a lot of stairs with no lift!

OP posts:
Heatherbell1978 · 22/01/2024 20:54

I had my own (beautiful) flat when I met DH age 34. He was renting so he moved in with me after a year together and we got engaged around the same time. The next year married and then had DS age 36. The flat suited us while DS was a baby and I was on mat leave but didn't feel like a long-term solution so we bought the home we're in now when DS was 12 months and I was back at work.

DH never loved living in my flat, he loved it, but didn't like that it wasn't ours. I guess it depends on the path you take together.

RandomUsernameHere · 22/01/2024 20:55

That would be a bit inconvenient with a baby in a buggy, but plenty of people manage it fine I'm sure

mynameiscalypso · 22/01/2024 20:56

We had a baby in a two bed flat. It was brilliant. I'm so glad we didn't have a house at that stage. Being able to potter from room to room makes life really easy. We outgrew it when DS was about 3.5 and it was clear we all needed a bit more space as he got older like a separate dining area.

UnravellingTheWorld · 22/01/2024 20:57

We got married both owning property (one 1 bed, one 2 bed), with the decision to sell both and buy a family home. That was 3 and a half years ago, and we moved into our family home two weeks ago.

Accidentally got pregnant immediately after the wedding, plus covid, plus unable to sell one property for a long time. We had a baby in a small flat and it was really awkward. We couldn't buy him inexpensive, big toys (like a little slide or swings) because we didn't have the space. Couldn't buy ourselves new things because where would we put anything. Had to carry the buggy and the baby both at once up and down the stairs outside the flat every time we went out.

I would strongly recommend moving before you have a baby. We survived and have a happy boy, but my word it would have been easier to do it the other way around.

idhjyd · 22/01/2024 20:59

When I was pregnant with DC 2; we managed find in two bed flat for the first 18 months with first DC then when we knew we wanted another baby we knew we needed a family home.
i actually found it easier in a smaller place with one DC compared to a bigger place as easy to keep clean and if I was in the kitchen I was still close by to DC rather than a couple of rooms away. We kept the pram in the car and were just used to stairs. The main thing that was tricky was doing much shopping.

PermanentTemporary · 22/01/2024 21:01

Do you love the flat more than him?

That's ok tbh.

I do feel for your dp. I moved into dp's house when we got pregnant and we raised ds there and married from there (2 bed). It wasn't always easy being in 'his' house. Eg I hated the curtains but it was 10 years before I felt I could change them.

Having said that, it was a good place for us. I did have my own place but was happy to leave it to make a family with dh. We had good years there.

I guess I'm saying that the family is more important than the house or flat. But it's not surprising that your dh wants a joint place. It doesn't have to be a huge place though.

rickyrickygrimes · 22/01/2024 21:03

Married 21 years, two children age 16 and 13 - and we’re still haven’t 😂 I don’t think we will now, it’s not a priority. We are still renting a (large) 2-bed flat, with no plans to move.

Have to say though that we live in France where renters rights are more protected, and are in an excellent area (that we couldn’t afford to buy in): our kids go to some of the best schools the city can offer. They share a room but it’s big, so they are fine with it.

several floors up with no lift though: that would put me off. idk why so many apartment buildings in the uk don’t have lifts - it’s very standard here.

RolyPolyFishHead · 22/01/2024 21:04

We bought a 3 bed semi after being together 18 months of which we had been married for 6 months, it was however 1999 and our 62k house is now valued at about 310k. Which shows just how different those times were. His salary was 26k and mine was 21k.

PureAmazonian · 22/01/2024 21:05

Honestly, doing anything with children is just a lot harder and adds more stress. Plus a dependent/reduced working hours/nursery outgoings will all affect how much you can borrow and what rates you can get.
If you can do it now, it would be a lot easier. Don't get me wrong, It's doable later on down the line, just I'm not sure I'd want the extra stress.

Delphigirl · 22/01/2024 21:08

We went out for 4 years, got married, put an offer on a house immediately after returning from honeymoon, moved in 6 weeks later, had dd 10 months later 😱

ClimbingHydrangea · 22/01/2024 21:11

We bought a flat after 4 years then sold and bought a 3 bed house after another 4 years but had no immediate plans for children. Baby came two years later.

I wanted to buy a house pre children as banks restrict mortgages for dependents and I wanted more options.

TheGirlWithGlassFeet · 22/01/2024 21:15

If you need childcare the amount you can borrow will be massively reduced.

Original poster
pleasegodletmewinthelottery · 22/01/2024 21:21

I do really love the flat Grin

We will need childcare for at least 3 days and I think the costs of that will have gone up even more in 18 months/2 years.

OP posts:
AtLeastThreeDrinks · 22/01/2024 21:26

We still haven’t and I’ve loved having a baby in a flat – so much easier than running up and down stairs a million times each evening (I had a fussy one!). We also had lots of stairs and no lift, you get used to it. Could you agree to save for a few years while in the flat and then look to move before the baby starts school? I’d stay put, house prices are dropping around here.

lightelmqueen · 22/01/2024 21:37

We bought our modest family home at the same time as getting married (it was a stressful time). Previous to that we lived in my husband's 2 bed house. We decided we wanted a house that we had both chose, and as we wanted to move away from the very densely student populated part of the city we were in we were able to get the family home for cheaper than the 2 bed house. This was all 4 years before we had children, although we were trying for children at the time of the house purchase

Swipe left for the next trending thread