Age of getting a mobile phone

[Bladwdoda]

What age did your children get their first mobiles? I have a 10 yr and was hoping to leave him without a mobile until the summer before he starts secondary school. However I hear a lot of his friends have phones already.

I’m interested what age people first gave their child a phone and what strategies did you put in place to maintain online safety and unhealthy phone use?

I think it really depends on when they are walking home from school on their own.

10.5 years, just parents phone numbers, Apple has ability to set up a child profile linked to parents with all websites blocked except those you specify as allowed. No ability to purchase games. 30 mins a day on one of the two games our DC has. They’re desperate for mates phone numbers/ social media/you tube but it’s not happening yet.

Reason for phone = live in a city, walks to school sometimes.

Their 11th birthday gave them time to learn about using it/rules before secondary school as they were mostly with me.

Easter of Yr 6. DHs old Samsung phone. Parental controls on and she couldn't take it to school. No phone in bedroom overnight and locked 9pm-7am.
Now in Yr7 and can take it to school but they hand it in at registration and get it back on the way to the buses after school. She wants an iPhone but she isn't getting one.
No snapchat/tiktok/you tube on phone.
The agreement is we can check phone at any time and she can't use it during homework so has to hand it over and I generally do the checks then.

My DC got brick phones aged 11. Smartphones when they paid for them aged 14/15

Huge difference between getting a smartphone or a ‘dumb phone’. Personally I don’t think any primary-aged children need a phone, with the exception of one for safety if walking home alone or for after school communication- then a very basic one is all that’s needed.

My 8 year old niece just got an iPhone for her birthday which seems crazy to me!

I gave my 10.5 yo year 6 child an android cast off for Christmas.
most of class have one already it turns out.
he’ll need on for secondary school in September and I’d rather he get used to it now before that. Has been ok so far. Not very different to his tablet.

They should be walking in their own to school in Yr 6 which is the usual age to give them a smart phone

I swore that my DD wouldn't have a phone till she was at least 12.

But she, made friends at school... Wanted to go out and play with them.. go to the local parks etc. so now she's 10 and I got her a phone so she can call me and be I touch.

I was surprised tbh, the first day she had it, she had 10 kids phone numbers and now has just about every one of her year mates. They all group chat on WhatsApp whilst playing Roblox etc. it's not the same world as it was when I was 10... 34 years ago 😭😭
They seem so much older than i was, think I was still playing with toys and the like at 10, can't imagine DD playing with Barbie's etc now, sad really, grow up too quick.

My son wasn't bothered about getting a phone and only had one age 16, two years ago, when he started a part time job. He says he's glad he never had one earlier because of all the crap on social media, he escaped all that. His friends used to ask sometimes why he never had a phone and he said because he wouldn't use it. It was never a big deal.

Both of mine got Nokia bricks at 11. DS still has his at 13; he hasn’t asked for a smartphone yet, and fortunately he goes to a secondary with a total phone ban so that’s not an issue. I think it will be harder to resist for DD who is much more socially aware, but for now she accepts our reasoning.

10th birthday here. Autumn baby so one of the earlier ones in the year but certainly not the first to have a phone in friendship group.
They are allowed to leave school on their own from Year 5 and we ended up with a few occasions were they didn't have a mobile and it would have been handy to contact them on their way home (changes of plans etc). There are rules around the phone though. We can control the access via android family link and it stays downstairs and we can access it whenever we ask. So far it's been ok but I would have preferred to wait another year.

A few of DD’s friends had them at an earlyish age due to their parents being separated. Dh let dd have one not long after she started year 6, I wasn’t keen but happy for him to take the lead and make sure it was safe as I aiming for Christmas or her 11th birthday anyway. She has my old iPhone. We check it regularly whenever one of us remembers and she knows we do, search history, photos, chats etc and we talk regularly about being safe and not sending pictures of herself.

She had an issue when her so called friends were bullying and excluding her at school and it followed her home with the phone. We spoke and agreed to remove the girls, block them on all platforms etc and everythings been fine since at home and school are dealing with things their end. All dd and her friends tend to do is set up multiple WhatsApp group chats and FaceTime each other while playing Roblox.

We wanted her to have one and get used to using it before she went to secondary.

My 8 year old got a basic non-smart phone for Christmas because she was forever borrowing phones to ask if she could go home to Sarah's house or bring Amy back to ours. She walks alone and it seemed that she had a need for one.

No Internet yet! It doesn't have a camera either. Just calls, texts and Snake.

Always so surprising that parents don’t realise there are age restrictions/guidance for apps that go on smartphones and that applies to WhatsApp (it’s age 16 for that app). If any DC are bullied, harassed, or the worst case of being groomed via a chat app and they’re under the recommended age, you wouldn’t be able to take any further action against the app owner (e.g. Meta) if you’ve enabled them to be on there under 16.

Stick to snake for the young phone owners!

We decided 11th birthday here. Dd1 was February and Dd2 will be getting one in March. From our perspective this allowed us to set some groud rules before high school and also for them to get used to messaging friends etc. They are allowed WhatsApp only.

It worked well with dd1 as we had a few minor grumbles with groups and people being admins and silly rules etc. Easier to sort out whilst at primary school.

It also allowed dc to easily keep in touch with primary school friends, this helped transition to high school when they were all off to different schools.

We will see how things pan out with dd2, I think she might be the last in the class to have a phone.

I wanted to wait until older too, but like you my son is starting to want to go out. I’m he is very sensible and we live in a safe place (both in terms of quiet roads and crime) so I am happy for him to walk across to his friends house or to the shops near by. However I would like him to be able to contact me if needed.

My eldest two have been given one of my old phones for their 10th birthdays with one of my old phones and I'll do the same for my DD when she turns 10. I upgrade their phones once they can prove they can look after it.

Thanks all. It’s interesting to hear others views. I think I will leave getting a phone until year 6 and then introduce it with some of the restrictions on games etc that you mention. I’m lucky that my husband is good with technology and so knows about all that stuff. Also with some kind of provision that I have access and check his messages once a week or something.

The other issue we have now, I realise, that didn’t exist when I was younger, is no house phone. If I wanted to call my friends as a child I could use the house phone. Or if I was home alone while mum went to the shop I could use house phone if needed. We don’t have a house phone, so I feel unhappy leaving him at home, even though I know he’d be fine while I pop to the shop. I may get a cheap brick for home use!

My eldest 2 got their first phones the summer after GCSEs, Ds2 is doing his GCSEs this year so he'll get one in the summer holidays too.
We were lucky that everything they needed to get to was within walking distance and their schools had a no mobile policy.

DD1 got one for Christmas as a joint birthday/christmas present and she turned 10 yesterday. She is going to start walking to school on her own now it’s lighter (no roads to cross other than the entrance to the school car park where the site manager stands).

She has numbers for family and friends but she knows DH or I can check her phone at any time, it has a time limit on it so she can’t use it between 8pm and 7am and it’s on a child account linked to DH’s Apple ID so we can ensure safety settings.

She has mostly used it for sending messages to family and friends, having Roblox calls with friends, playing games or watching videos.

I wish there was a phone that looked smart but was actually more similar to a brick. I’m surprised no one has invented a good phone that is aimed at tweens/young teens with cool gadgets but easy parental controls.

we’ve already had an incident of him watching an inappropriate video at a friends house on his friends switch (apparently no restrictions)

I think there is a lot to say for getting one around this time in y6 so they get used to it before secondary.
However that doesn't mean a free for all. You can loxk down the Internet, restrict installation of apps, make sure you monitor closely etc.
Easier to remove restrictions slowly than have to impose them due to misuse.

Lots of talk about ages but very little about how to keep them safe. I think the best thing you can do is educate them about what they might see (porn, bullying, other questionable content) and discuss these topics frequently, not a 'sit down and have the chat' vibe.