Age of getting a mobile phone

[Bladwdoda]

What age did your children get their first mobiles? I have a 10 yr and was hoping to leave him without a mobile until the summer before he starts secondary school. However I hear a lot of his friends have phones already.

I’m interested what age people first gave their child a phone and what strategies did you put in place to maintain online safety and unhealthy phone use?

There definitely are 'smartphones for kids' that are like very basic smartphones without a lot of the features of a normal phone. They are designed specifically for children and safety so it is a product that exists. I don't have any experience with them, though, just know that this is a thing! It could be worth researching.

DD was 10 (almost 11).
It's Apple and has parental controls on.
No games and ask to install anything required.
Allowed websites only
Downtime activated
Allowed contacts only
No social media inc What's app
Originally only I could add contacts, I've relaxed that now ( a year later) and interestingly she hasn't added anyone. She has only family and her best friend, won't give her number to any other friends as she doesn't want the drama!

My kids were both 10 and in year 5. It was for walking to and from school alone/with friends, they hardly looked at them. They’ve never been kids that are glued to their phone and we’ve never had any issues.

In year 6 when he started walking to school alone. He did have whatsapp installed which I checked every night and games like roblox. No social media apps like snapchat despite him asking for it.

Basic phone summer after primary school and practice on buses etc. better phone when we upgraded ours. It’s the norm here.

DTs got them for their 10th birthday in the summer before y6. They pretty much all had them by y6. They did have old ipods before that that could use imessenger on

My dc is about to turn 11 and in Y6. The whole class (except her and one other) have had phones since at least the summer. Quite a few of her Y5 friends have had them for awhile. It drives me absolutely mad.

They are all on YouTube and Snapchat and TikTok. Dd has an ipad so tried to download these too and obviously isn't allowed, but we did download to have a look and the things her friends are doing on there. 🙄10 year old friend is posting provocative photos on TikTok and has all sorts of weirdos following her - plus her mum and her two sisters, who clearly can see all she posts.

So for now, it's a hard no from me. Even just having her ipad makes such a massive negative change in her behaviour. Until I feel confident I can monitor what she is doing so I can keep her safe, it's going to stay a no for a bit longer. But yes, most of the Y6's and I'd say a good bit of Y5's have a phone (and we live in an area where there is no walking to school, very rural farming community where everyone drives, so it's not for that reason). I think it's just parents caving to peer pressure.

I would also say I've seen a massive difference in the kids who have phones and the ones who don't. The ones who do are glued to them. They meet up and all they do is stare at their phones, doom scrolling. Again, they're 9 & 10. They don't even speak to each other. Just stare at phones. Whenever we take dd's best friend anywhere - out to an activity, birthday party, drop her home from school, whatever - she literally sits in the backseat next to dd scrolling on her phone like a zombie. Doesn't engage in conversation, doesn't laugh and have fun with dd or others, just on her phone. Saw her and her family out at bonfire night and everyone else was outside playing with sparklers and running around, but all of them - mum, dad, all siblings from age 9 and up, just sat around a table inside the village hall, scrolling through phones in silence, not watching fireworks, not doing anything. It's depressing.

I'm getting my dd one for her 10th birthday in May. She will start walking home from school then and may be out with friends over the Summer.

Primary school age - We used to lend DD an old phone if she went out with friends, in Yr 6 she had a bit more freedom and was allowed to go into our nearby small town for a few hours.
She got her own (second hand) iPhone for high school. Small amount of data.
In terms of safety - we've never used parental controls or screen time limits but have talked a lot about keeping herself safe and avoiding things she would find upsetting.
She's never had her phone in her room overnight, it's elsewhere charging. We know the pin code and she's not allowed to change it. She understands that we could check her phone at any time if we were concerned. We allowed WhatsApp early as her friends were using it. Hard no to tik tok snap chat and Instagram until she was old enough to use it responsibly. No to class WhatsApp groups too. We suggested she only has contact numbers for actual friends.
She asked to start using Instagram etc when she was 15 and we agreed. Later than a lot of her friends but not the last.
Her experience of using a smart phone has been mostly very positive. I have checked her phone maybe twice? We share an apple sign in so imessages and many photos are not private and I think this has avoided some issues. DD can use other messaging apps for privacy but still uses this one a lot.

I taught a child a few years ago who got the latest model iPhone on her birthday in Y3 (so just turned 8). It was a better phone than I had. 🙄

I'd say a good proportion of the kids I've taught have one by the time they're in Y6 (10-11yrs old). The last set of Y6's I taught were involved in so much drama resulting from WhatsApp messages... my advice would therefore be to limit all apps and have strict parental controls.

My kids got hand me down iPhones when starting secondary. We use Apple to makes more sense with the parental controls.

Strict rules. No overnights. Checked at anytime. No tik tok, no WhatsApp.

Our 10yo (year 5) has recently started walk to and from school by himself. We don’t see the need for a phone for that as it’s 10 minutes. We’ve agreed to get him one when he starts wanting to go to the park with friends after school. It will be a basic Nokia.
We do have a landline for if he’s at home by himself but he prefers to ring us on FB messenger on the family iPad.

year 5 for the youngest (as felt left out on family group chat). we regret it now. Watches too many YouTube videos which isn’t great brains get used to a dopamine hit every 3 minutes and all sorts of other things from distractions and learning how to deal with social*

Most of friends got them in year 6 or y7. Some need for contact on way to school but youngest DC doesn’t take to school too risky on road sense would probably play a game walking on own. there’s no need for them to have a phone for their walk (10 minute walk - if any issues run back to school, and rest of way shops and houses who know us and can phone us).

looking at their group chats a few of them just aren’t equipped to deal with it.

*have a look into tech people in silicone valley and how they deal with their own children. Bill Gates for example has no phones till 14.

I think it depends on the child and what restrictions you have in place. My DS has had a smart phone since he was about 7. He didn’t ask for it but we had a spare handset and I had a spare sim. He’s not bothered about it at all. it wasn’t a birthday present or anything. He rarely looks at it. He’s in Year 6 now and all his friends that didn’t already have phones have got them this year. He’s in a few WhatsApp groups and sometimes there’s over 1000 messages it’s crazy. I check it more than him and tell him if any of his friends have messaged! There are definitely some children that are on their phones and messaging all the time. Some early morning and late at night. I wouldn’t be happy if that was my child. Maybe it’s a personality thing where some children will just get more obsessed than others.

8 as no home phone. Dumb phone so no Internet.

That is so depressing @mindutopia
we had similar recently- at DC’sfriend’s birthday party (all primary aged) the birthday child was on his phone, filming all the other kids as they arrived, back for pick up his mum was sat away from them on her phone, his sister on hers, he was on his still filming and not joining in with his own bowling party. I’ve no idea where he was posting his videos to either as I couldn’t ask.

You wouldn’t let your child bring a random adult to their party and hang out with them instead of their friends, would you? That’s what a smartphone is in the hands of a young child IMO.