I weigh 17 stone and I am looking for some advice

[Heybarbie1028]

As the title says… I weigh 17 stone, 5”7. I am obese and I know it’s time to change.

I joined the gym last week and I’ve been considering getting a personal trainer for a while. Well I had a taster session today and I honestly think I am too unfit for any personal training right now. The trainer also wasn’t that encouraging either even though I was visibly struggling. They just sort of just told me what to do and watched me.

I feel like I can’t walk now and I don’t know if it’s best I shed a few stone first by going to the gym and eating well before paying more money to tone up.

What are your thoughts? Anyone been in the same position?

Ok @Heybarbie1028 it's not a great days food, I dont think that would be a contested statement, but the good news is that it will be easy to find improvements.

I've just roughly put that into MyFitnessPal and it's a minimum of 3000 calories and pretty much all carbs and fat, very little protein as a percentage

So what can you change that's realistic, won't make you feel deprived and you'll be able to stick to?

I was 18 stone in June, I’m now 14 stone. I tried weight watchers, I tried slimming world. I used the NHS 13 week weight loss app. Now I use my fitness o and track calories and my only exercise is walking.

Find the right trainer. Do weights. Honestly I was that weight and got a PT to do a programme the difference was amazing. I found eating healthier came more naturally when exercising as I didn’t want to “waste” going to the gym on rubbish food if that makes sense. Rowing machine was great, found it less stressful on my knees than the treadmill. Weights and body weight exercises, tough to begin with but made a difference. Toned up at the same time as losing weight. Cut out snacks, drank a ton of water.

I joined a gym in November. I have been doing 4 Pilates lessons a week along with one aqua, swimming and treadmill. I had some PT to start off with and I know that resistance training is important, but I'm happy doing just this for the timebeing.

I'm a lot stronger, my stamina and energy have increased. I'm working on my eating too, but that will take longer as it is a head thing. Find something you enjoy doing and stick with that until you feel you can do a bit more. I'm heavier than you, but am enjoying myself and already feel so much better. Keep going. 💪💪

I agree. I was 18 stone and 5 ft 8. I walked a mile twice a day for a fortnight, whilst going for a severe daily calorie deficits. My joints could not take anything strenuous. I lost 11 pounds.

Thereafter, I went to the gym daily for 3 months. I started wrongly by attempting aerobics and circuit training. But after 2 weeks, I started on the fixed weights, after doing 30 mins in the cross trainer. After 3 months I lost 3 stone.

I then spent the next 3 months still in calorie deficit, but undertaking daily cycling - starting with a mile and going up to 15 miles after 3 months. After cycling, I lost another 2.5 stone.

18 months later, I list another half stone, abd I am 6 stone lighter in total.

Sadly, I made mistakes and should have eaten protein. It was a mistake because I lost muscle as well as fat. Make sure you fill up with protein each day, a tin of tuna will suffice.

Hey op, just jumping on to say im 5.8 feet and 17.4 stone. Im in a similar situation to you and diet is just as bad! Im going to take the advice youve been given and make some changes this week. Ive joined myfitnesspal to go down the counting calorie route. Upping water intake and im going to get out walking on my lunchbreak for 30 minutes with a podcast on. This thread has inspired me! Best of luck

Have an eating window. Mine is 12-8pm. Avoid ultra processed foods. Walk every day 4,000 min but 10,000 plus ideal. Workout with Joe Wicks or with kettlebell while you are cooking dinner, 15 mins.
Becomes second nature. 4 stone down in 3 years...

I joined the local leisure centre and got a cheap membership for gym and swimming. The gym is rubbish but good for me to work at my own pace . I love the swimming as it’s non weight bearing and honestly you’d be surprised at the shapes and sizes that swim along together in a pool. I dont think you need a PT yet. Get into good habits
with activity and exercise and then if you are committed to the gym invest in a PT

Walk, don't strain your joints until you have lost some weight by dieting.
I recommend this diet suggested to me by a friend who started in the 25 stone range (I was about 17 stone when I started it and lost 4 stone - I go up and down a stone now but have not put all my weight back on and exercise more now I am lighter. I don't think I'll ever be slim, but am a lot happier and heathier now).
Basically you can't cheat and don't have to calorie count. It sounds draconian, but after 2 or 3 days you don't feel hungry and the fat melts away.
2 Weetabix with some fruit (eg. a handful of berries, an apple) and skimmed milk for breakfast. Tea or coffee with milk if you like. No sugar! I add a spoonful of bran to my cereal to keep me regular 😁
Lunchtime, same again.
Tea time, soup - any sort. I have half a can or half of one of the fresh soup cartons - about 300 ml.
Dinner - a great big salad with 100gm of meat (eg ham,cold chicken, salami) or fish or hard boiled egg, cheese... Some sort of low calorie dressing (keep off mayonaisse!) - personally I sprinkle on balsamic vinegar or have a tablespoon of chutney rather than dressing.
During the day have more fruit if you want a snack and as much tea and coffee as you want, or water. Keep off fizzy drinks and squash and alcohol. Even zero calorie drinks can mess up you metabolism. https://www.who.int/news/item/15-05-2023-who-advises-not-to-use-non-sugar-sweeteners-for-weight-control-in-newly-released-guideline

@Heybarbie1028 Thanks for posting that OP. Do not be embarrassed or upset, shame is the literal enemy and we all start somewhere. I’m sorry, this is a really long post. Would you consider starting with Breakfast or dinner if you want to be more ambitious?

Atm the breakfast is quite protein light. If you eat more protein you’ll feel more full and might eventually be able to give up the pre lunch snacks. Just a thought, instead of the peanut butter and toast, why don’t you have the eggs on toast in the morning? Are there any veg you like? That you can add to make it even more filling? I LOVE condiments so you are not weird. Later on, if you feel up to cooking more, you can add some home-made baked beans to replace the ketchup. This and veg will make your breakfast bigger, but it’s better to eat bigger meals early in the day.

Especially now when you have more calories to play with it’s ok to eat pasta but limit it to lunch and choose one carb. If you’re having pasta for example, then no bread. For dinner try eliminating the carbs. If you’d like to have a bit of nut butter, what about a peanut curry? Use lots of whatever lean protein you like, put some veg in and swap rice for a South East Asian or Indian Cucumber salad. There are lots of recipes online, for make the suggested dressings and use your condiments. Hopefully if you make saucy food for dinner you will feel the need to use them less.

OP, I was about 15stone and lost abt 4 some years back and have maintained. I was over 50 when I started.

First thing, don't go back to that PT - sounds awful. You've made a big step to join the gym and that's brilliant!

The initial loss was through walking (proper brisk walks in trainers, no awkward bags) and pushing breakfast forwards until I ended up waiting till lunch. And eating lots of protein - eggs, chicken breasts etc. I also cut out sweet things during the week, and had a treat at the weekends/birthdays etc. It was much easier to resist in the week but it also meant when the weekend came, I focussed on one really nice treat rather than filling and grazing on sweet stuff. I've never calorie counted.

I was active as well, and joined a gym where I did aquafitness, used the bikes and rowers, did a bit of weight training and went to some returner/beginner type conditioning classes. Once I'd lost most of the weight, I went to tougher classes, and now strength train quite seriously.

So for you, I'd say it depends a lot what your gym is like - for the moment I'd focus on finding something that is safe, reasonably enjoyable and sustainable for you. Strength training is great for women but you do need to know how to do it and if your gym doesn't have good PTs or small group classes then maybe try Pilates (which is bodyweight strength training) if available? If you do a brisk walk/use a gym cardio machine 5 days a week and do two Pilates classes you would be meeting the NHS exercise guidelines, which is a good place to start.

https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/exercise/exercise-guidelines/physical-activity-guidelines-for-adults-aged-19-to-64/

Weight loss is almost entirely diet. Start with that. On that diet, you will have to exercise for hours to lose weight.

Hello I am currently loosing weight, started at 22st and currently about 17 and a half stone.
Weight loss is 95% due to nutrition, being in a calorie deficit.
Whilst exercise has a lot of health benefits, it will not hugely impact your weight. Try and move your body as much as you can, walking is a great start to improve mobility and stamina before starting the gym if you are nervous.
I am sorry you had a rubbish experience with the PT, they obviously weren't very good. You should have felt encouraged and shown how to do exercises properly. Being big you sometimes need to be shown alternative ways to do exercises as well.
I enjoy the gym now, I do a mix of strength training (weights and machines) and cardio (machines and aqua aerobics). Classes wise I find that classes where you don't need to carry your weight are more suited to me (aqua aerobics, and I am working my way up to indoor cycling).

As others have said it's absolutely going to be mostly diet. The good thing is that from what you've posted above, you can make lots of changes that mean you will be able to reduce calories without completely starving yourself. I would absolutely focus on diet before exercise, but start to explore and build in some exercise types that you could like. Long term consistency is the absolute key and for that to work you need both achievable and positive changes.

I find that the following derails weight loss:

• going on a crash diet
• trying to change too many things at once
• setting yourself up for failure, e.g. setting unachievable goals that are unsustainable (e.g. require you to workout or cook or use food more than your schedule/budget/body can manage in the long term
• completely excluding treats without replacing them with other rewards
• focusing on guilt and shame or what you're not doing
• seeing short term fluctuations as failure
• comparing yourself to people

I find the following does help (some is just a mirror of the above as it may help to see it written out positively):

• small changes that you can maintain in the long term
• focussing on habit forming. You can mould that habit later to your ideal habit (e.g. a walk every day) but you may need to focus a few levels down to start that habit (e.g. putting your trainers on and stepping outside of the door at the same time every day)
• finding other ways to reward yourself/find comfort that is not food based. This could be having a bath, buying yourself a little present, even transfering the cost of the treat into an account/ money jar to spend on something great
• focussing on healthy eating that you enjoy
• challenging yourself
• setting goals for both the long and short term, so you can see your progress
• writing down what this weight loss means for you and what it will bring to your life
• understanding that you are human and will make mistakes and that doesn't mean you've failed
• understanding that weight loss fluctuates with your mood, cycle, water intake, etc. you can weather bumps in the road as long as you focus on the long term trend of weight loss
• not going 'all out' or excluding everything completely e.g. if you eat a whole bar of chocolate, replace this with two squares of chocolate. Don't just say you'll never eat chocolate again, as you will most likely fail and just end up eating a whole bar again, with lots of guilt attached).
• focus on food types and macros, e.g. cutting down sugar and building protein into your diet.

I would focus on the following:

• set achieve goals that you can track, one at a time. Do NOT go on a crash diet. Start by replacing high calorie items like the chocolate with something still enjoyable but lower calorie. Something like a chocolate protein pudding could be an option. You can then work on making this better step by step.

• either change your trainer or change your exercise. You could get a trainer with the explicit instructions that you want to explore different machines and exercises in the gym. Or it could be replacing one of your journeys with walking for a week. Or it could be doing a month's pay as you go at the gym and trying different exercise classes, rowing machines, cycling, yoga. The point of this is to start forming habits and not beating yourself up or making exercise a burden or unachievable at this point. Once you form the habit and make the first step then exercise that will help lose weight will be easier to implement.

• set yourself an achievable target of trying different types of exercise each week with the idea of understanding what you enjoy. If you thin walking is achievable and you will enjoy it, that could be buying a cheap smart watch and using this to track steps - I find that having a target or goal in exercise can really help.

• keep a food diary or use myfitnesspal to track calories. If you enjoy cooking then you could use this as a way to try new recipes, find new food loves, do batch cooking

• follow some inspirational people on socials. Don't follow a load of skinny inspo people who focus on exercise or food that is not achievable for you. Don't compare yourself to these people. Focus on finding 'your people' and actual inspiration, not just unobtainable and guilt forming content.

Lots of waffle there but hopefully something in there will help.

Radical honesty time from someone who has been there: you are poisoning your body with that diet. I would estimate that you're gaining at least 1lb a week every week that you eat like that. And that's a conservative estimate: I would gain significantly more if I ate like that. And quite aside from the weight gain, almost everything that you listed there will not fuel your body in an efficient way: it will make you feel worse.

Nothing you do will make a difference unless you radically change what you eat. That doesn't mean you have to change it all at once, but you will have to make significant changes over time. The good news is, once you've got yourself out of the sugar/carbs cycle you'll realise how shit it was making you feel – and I don't mean your weight, I mean the crappy food you were putting into your body – and you won't want to go back there.

For me, since overhauling my diet, the impact of carbs or sugary food has become almost immediate and dramatically noticeable: if I eat cake or sweets, I will crash and feel sleepy and a bit yucky and miserable within half an hour. It's so much easier to resist when you know that's what's going to happen. That's not to say I never eat it – I do, because cake is delicious! – but I only eat it when I know I'll be able to handle the effects, so at a weekend when I don't have anything planned that afternoon and can sleep it off.

Moving towards a protein-first, high good fat low carb diet will transform your life. You will have significantly more energy, you will want to get outside more, your mood will be better and more stable, your concentration levels will improve, your skin will clear, your hair will shine, your nails will grow. The weight loss will be secondary to that.

Also my one bit of advice would be that you have to find what works for you. All the suggestions on the thread are great but some of them just won't work for you. And that's okay. For example, I couldn't possibly eat three small meals a day. It just doesn't work for me. It doesn't hit my buttons, it makes me feel like I'm living in constant denial. What has worked for me is fasting for the majority of the time, and then eating a hearty (rich in protein and good fat) dinner. For other people that would trigger a binge, or they would feel ill if they fasted for so long etc etc. That's fine too. Find what works for YOU. Something you can stick to for the long term.

Don’t try to go too hard all at once as you will burn out.

Walking is the most amazing exercise, and swimming is good when you’re obese. Could you schedule one decent walk a week, a swim, and then maybe some machine weights at the gym to get the muscles training?

For the diet slimming world: pinch of nom meals is a simple programme to follow

Thank you all for the replies - feeling quite overwhelmed with the support!

Going to read everything through in detail now, but one thing I know for sure is that I’m not going back to the PT - I can’t walk today!!

Good for you, OP!

About the PT - if you do new exercise routines, it is very common to feel it the next day or two - it is called DOMS. It doesn't mean the session was wrong for you, and your body does adapt in time. What was wrong for you though is that you didn't enjoy it, didn't come away feeling good, didn't get encouraged or motivated. If you are paying for PT, you should get all of that (and may feel it the next day as well 😀) .

Agree with everything that's already been said.

Eat less, walk more and more and up every day by 500 steps if possible.

I'd also add that you should measure yourself, not just weigh. Measure your waist, hips, chest, and thighs. It helps when you think you're not losing weight - and to remind you how many inches you've lost..

I am (was!) half a stone heavier than you and same height. I joined slimming world and I love it. I've lost 15lb in 3 months. Obviously I could have lost more but I'm a social person and I'm not going to deprive myself of enjoying the things I like, but it has given me structure and helped me make better choices on the days in between so I'm happy losing 1-2lb a week. Some in my group have had huge losses by sticking religiously to it.
I've tried it in the past but hated the groups, I asked around and have now found a group with a fabulous leader and they're a great bunch of people. I think it's important to find a group you enjoy as well as the diet.

I joined a gym last January, I've been 5 times so it's been a huge waste of money, I just hate going! Fortunately my contract is just coming to an end so I'll be £50 a month richer in February 😆

Also, if you're not a fan of cooking, the slimming world ready meals in Iceland are surprisingly tasty and filling.

I would think about joining a slimming club. I was slightly heavier than you & joined weight watchers which has been very successful so far. In terms of exercise it is much much easier & less frustrating when you are carrying less of yourself around, diet is 90% of weight loss in my experience

I hope the OP is still reading, but I've just read an interesting and very simple diet, called the Human Diet. Essentially, it's a two day raw vegetable detox, followed by three meals a day for a fortnight, each composed of 120g of protein (fish/meat/eggs/cheese) and 120g of green vegetable/salad if you are 65kg (130g of each for 75-85kg, or 140g for above 85kg) bodyweight. No snacks, no sugared or fizzy drinks, and expect to feel hungry. After that, there's a phased relaxation and re-introduction of oil and other foods. I read about it in the Telegraph, so maybe worth a look or a Google? It struck me as much simpler and clearer than most diet programmes. You should lose weight quickly, and it would probably put you in a good frame of mind to start an exercise programme. I hope this is useful but apologies, I didn't read the whole thread.