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Original poster

Have baby showers gone out of control?

51 replies

BrandySnaps1 · 22/01/2024 16:19

attended one recently. not only was there a shower for the mum, there was a separate gender reveal and then another party when the baby was born. The baby shower was like something out of a reality tv show.

Doesnt it feel like its all becoming a spectacle and out of control?

OP posts:
Moier · 22/01/2024 16:21

Yes.. another stupid American tradition.. never had one. My daughters never had one.. you visit the Mum and Baby after when it's convenient and take a present..

Hetty2507 · 22/01/2024 16:23

Same as first birthday parties. It's all for Instagram and the mums to show off to other mums. A one year old doesn't need a hired hall, balloon arch, huge one signs or a personalised cake topper.

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 22/01/2024 16:26

Completely stupid, imo.

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DappledThings · 22/01/2024 16:40

The moment they existed they were out of control

ginasevern · 22/01/2024 16:54

It's an Americanism which, along with gender reveals and all the other imported crap, is trashy as fuck and caters to a certain kind of demographic. Sorry, but it's true.

Bluevelvetsofa · 22/01/2024 16:57

Tacky

mathanxiety · 22/01/2024 17:17

If any of the posters complaining about 'American' 'trash' had ever been to an authentic American baby shower, you would be quite surprised at how pleasant and - in general - tasteful and classy they tend to be.

As usual, some vital elements of the tradition have got lost in transit somewhere in the North Atlantic, and it's been turned into something it really isn't on the other side.

There are trashy people everywhere. It's not a trait that's confined to the US.

GiraffeInABath · 22/01/2024 17:51

So tacky… I’ve also noticed a theme where a lot of the women who plan them have yet to plan a wedding? I wonder if it’s a compensatory thing.
Living through the planning of a wedding removes the desire to plan another large event IME.
It’s a certain demographic.

Sapphire387 · 22/01/2024 17:52

I always feel it is tempting fate, celebrating before the baby is born safely.

Goatymum · 22/01/2024 18:10

Seems like nonsense to me! Luckily I had DCs 20+ years ago so none of this existed. Friends/family came round ad hoc once they were born to see the new arrival - usually bought a present - had a cuppa/cake/chat - went home!
We had a first bday party at home which was low key. No big balloon arches or suchlike !!

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 22/01/2024 18:11

Sapphire387 · 22/01/2024 17:52

I always feel it is tempting fate, celebrating before the baby is born safely.

Me too.

SisterMichaelsHabit · 22/01/2024 18:13

I think people have maybe latched on because no one really does massive Christenings anymore in the UK. Did you ever see a proper Irish Christening party with the extended relatives all turning up? Now those could get out of control! I remember as a child many occasions with 100+ people partying until 2am with far too much alcohol.

Tiredalwaystired · 22/01/2024 19:10

Relieved to have missed this trend. Have never been to one. As someone else said, even fifteen years ago it was a visit from friends after baby was safely here. Having seen three friends go through painful stillbirths over the years I can’t imagine how they would have looked back on the event.

Alalalalalongalalalalalonglonglilong · 22/01/2024 19:18

I had one but it was more a kitchen party and people brought food. There were about 7 people there and it was a lovely evening. One friend had something similar and others booked a restaurant. It was all very low key, none of us are even on social media and I don't know if anyone ever took photos. I agree it's not the event itself it's the version of it that's become prominent that is ridiculous nonsense.

Original poster
BrandySnaps1 · 22/01/2024 21:48

Sapphire387 · 22/01/2024 17:52

I always feel it is tempting fate, celebrating before the baby is born safely.

Completely echo this. What if something happens to baby after? How painful it must be

OP posts:
BringMeSunshine48 · 22/01/2024 21:51

Hopefully it's a trash-fad that will soon be deemed old hat and low class. I personally find them ridiculous.

AnnaTortoiseshell · 22/01/2024 22:03

I haven’t been to a baby shower like the ones you describe. I’ve been to a couple where a group of friends get together for some tea and cake to wish a mum-to-be well. I had one like that with one group of friends which was lovely. I don’t think anyone brought presents, they all gave something after baby arrived. I really think as with anything, it depends what you make of it.

I think if something had happened to my baby and she hadn’t arrived safely, it would have been devastating. I don’t think I would have felt worse for having had a baby shower, that seems like a stretch.

AnneLovesGilbert · 22/01/2024 22:08

Tiredalwaystired · 22/01/2024 19:10

Relieved to have missed this trend. Have never been to one. As someone else said, even fifteen years ago it was a visit from friends after baby was safely here. Having seen three friends go through painful stillbirths over the years I can’t imagine how they would have looked back on the event.

It wasn’t huge or tacky but I arranged a baby shower for a friend 15 years ago, it was definitely a thing that wasn’t very unusual then.

FruitBowlCrazy · 22/01/2024 22:10

I've only ever been to one, it was next door, and there was NDN, her mum, her sister, her brother's girlfriend, her best friend, plus me and the neighbour from the other side. Tea and cake, a few presents, a good laugh, and that was it. Lasted about an hour and a half.

Amermaidandaman · 22/01/2024 22:22

It wasn’t much of a thing when I had my first, although I did go for a nice little meal with my 3 close friends, mum and sister as a last little hurrah before it all changed. I’ve been to some lovely ones in the last few years though. Two were nice hotel afternoon tea type affairs which I enjoyed but wasn’t very close to any other guests so I did begrudge the price a bit. The most recent was in a really lovely hall and was a buffet and some silly games. I would definitely do one like this if I was ever organising one. I much preferred not having to spend much money!

JubileeJumps · 22/01/2024 22:28

I went to a work colleagues one and it was a Kardashian shit show. They had a flower wall and a grazing table and a photographer. A sweet stand, doughnut table, balloon arches and a professional make up artist. Not to mention all the other made in Essex BS.
Then there was a gender reveal and babymoon in Dubai.
If my kids do this I'll disown them.
The worst thing is I know (because she told me) she put it all on a credit card. I do love her but honestly she is a Muppet!

Jessforless · 22/01/2024 22:34

In my experience of them I like them… I had one thrown by my mum. We said no presents needed, and just had afternoon tea in her kitchen and my Nan, auntie, cousins and a couple of my closest friends (who know my family well) came along and we had such a laugh. And one of my favourite photos where it’s all my female relatives (and incoming DD) all in one picture, such a nice memory.

I’ve been to some for friends where they are a bit more decorated or a bit more themed, but I like buying baby gifts and celebrating my friends so I can’t really get mad at the idea.

OzziePopPop · 22/01/2024 22:34

mathanxiety · 22/01/2024 17:17

If any of the posters complaining about 'American' 'trash' had ever been to an authentic American baby shower, you would be quite surprised at how pleasant and - in general - tasteful and classy they tend to be.

As usual, some vital elements of the tradition have got lost in transit somewhere in the North Atlantic, and it's been turned into something it really isn't on the other side.

There are trashy people everywhere. It's not a trait that's confined to the US.

This. I had the pleasure of attending several baby showers when I lived in the USA , all were small, thrown by friends of the baby’s mum, only for. A first baby, didn’t have any tacky games really just women giving small gifts to a first time expectant mother.

now I’m sure some US baby showers are tacky as fuck, but it’s not the norm there! We’ve sort of taken the tradition and…. ‘Improved’ it..

Onelife2024 · 22/01/2024 22:39

BrandySnaps1 · 22/01/2024 21:48

Completely echo this. What if something happens to baby after? How painful it must be

Show quote history

This actually happened to a friend - she lost the baby on the day of the baby shower - completely devastating.

wubwubwub · 22/01/2024 22:41

DD is 4 now, didn't have a shower or a 'reveal'

People popped round after she was born

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