Offered a new job when current job is adequate and fits with life

[nightsurfing]

I work in a reasonably large public sector organisation. Offices are an hour away but my job went almost 100% remote during the pandemic, which really reduces travel and childcare costs to almost nothing. I've been with the organisation for 10 years and comfortable. They are reasonably friendly and supportive as an employer. My life circumstances are slightly complex, but the employer and direct management are entirely understanding of this. I have a lot of autonomy to work the way I need to, shaping hours to suit providing I get the job done (which I do). On the downside they have financial challenges, I have stagnated a bit and there are few prospects for moving on or up. I have not received any training or development in years from them, though have taken courses using my own funds and developed my knowledge in different ways.

A while ago I applied for a role that looked interesting, interviewed and have been offered it. It is an organisation very similar to the one I currently work for but benchmarked higher in terms of reputation and better positioned financially. The job would be a horizontal move, with exactly the same pay. Not exactly the same duties but similar enough. This organisation is much closer, a short and easy commute. The main differences are they want staff in the office several days per week, therefore childcare costs would go up a bit. I would be on site with people, and would expect less autonomy / independence with a new employer at least to start with. I would have to work more set hours without the flex I currently have. There would be a probation period. They probably offer more development opportunities. Second organisation seems friendly and professional, with good line management so little difference there.

I'm really torn, as to whether to stick with the comfortable job and life I have or move. There is no 'bad' decision but I don't want to regret a decision either way. I have talked it over with a friend who also works remotely and she has cautioned me about giving up things I value now and might not get again. In my position, she would probably just coast along and be comfy with what I have now. We have another friend who made a move and regrets it but can't go back. I'm equally seeing the risk of staying in one place too long.

I'd appreciate any MN thoughts/wisdom here. How would you make the decision?

Ask the new place for an extra 5-10% on the salary. If they say no, stay put.

Why?

Perhaps think about the things most important to you and see what job offers the most.

If you think of negative situations in new job that could occur e.g colleague from hell. If after these the potential to grow outweighs these think you have your answer.

Another thing to think about is could the flexibility in current job change? Say you got a new manager or they suddenly want everyone in the office rather than WFH.

Well I thought the comment was self-explanatory.

You can spend as much of your life at work as you do out of it. Most of us work because we HAVE to not because we WANT to...so to find somewhere that you don't despair of going to every day can be like finding the holy grail.

I can't begin to explain the mental pain of leaving somewhere you enjoyed being and finding yourself somewhere you hate. There are a LOT of exploitative workplaces out there.

Thank you I will try the visualisation exercise

1. What else it would take to leave - more money (going up a band), something really interesting to do for same or more money, or being pushed out ie made redundant. I lack confidence I'd easily walk into another role, especially if unemployed and under pressure (even with a redundancy payment)
2. Cost of tea/ coffee and heating - the first organisation don't provide any refreshment and I don't put on extra heating as am pretty frugal. Unsure about t&c at second organisation.
3. Supporting DC into secondary and being there when they get home - I hadn't fully considered this thank you. It depends on the hours I could negotiate. It has been great being able to be at the school gates and see DC after school, do homework etc in the last 4 years. I have minimal back up childcare in the area, and wouldn't want to 100% rely on others whose circumstances could change, its a risk.
4. Boredom/Ken barlow effect/stagnating - yes I agree its easy to never make the move. If stay longer then try to move after 15, 20 years in the job (in my 50s) will I be as employable.
5. Colleagues from hell/exploitative workplaces - I'm as sure as I can be that both organisations are decent with a good culture
6. Any chance remote working could change in current role - it's unlikely, as they made changes that mean staff like me can't all go back to on site working (I hope that isn't too identifying)

The visualisation came out 50/50 with clarity on questions more than answers.

If I move, what matters - agreeing a pay increase to cover increase in costs / asking to discuss hours and flex / asking to clarify rules and practice around remote working / discussion around protected characteristics / and beyond that I'm not as clear on the day to day job as my current role, or the likely development opportunities.

If I stay, what matters - any increased return to the office (unlikely) / any real threat around redundancy (unclear) / any development I can pursue for myself including other future opportunities to move.

That still isn't a decision and I'm feeling stressed as they will want an answer tomorrow. I'll look bad if I mess them around.

I moved sideways in similar circumstances and believed I'd get better opportunity.
Worst decision I ever ever made and spent a year miserable. I ended up moving again steer after a year finally to promotion and is been amazing but wish I'd never had that job in the middle

Sorry if I missed this point but is the second job in the private sector and therefore offering a worse pension than you are presumably getting in the public sector? If so, that would mean less money as well. A worse pension would definitely put me off.

Both public sector, no difference in pension

Thanks socks1107. I have made a bad move before, in late 20s - was headhunted from a great job into one where they lied. I left after 9 months and regretted losing perks of the first one.

Can you ask to talk to the hiring manager (the person you'd report to) tomorrow, and go through your questions? Try and get a better sense of them and how they see the role. And talk more about your concerns re: flexible working and your needs. That's what will have the most impact on what it's actually like, and whether you can see yourself happy there. If they seem genuine and credible in reassuring you, that's good. If not, you'll have a red flag to heed.

Unless money is a pressing concern (in which case, fair enough!), I wouldn't make the pay the deciding factor, or bring that to the forefront of your discussions with them. I think the above is going to determine your future prospects more than small differences in pay and childcare costs in the immediate future.

Having just taken a sideways job move I would say do not leave. A flexible company are few and far between

Thank you

There is no 100% guarantee in either job. You will regret moving at some point because something always comes up that makes you think "this would have been so much easier to deal with in my old job".

But, will the pluses outweigh those moments?

If your youngest is in yr 5, then surely they are more independent already? Yr 6 my DC's school encouraged more independent such as getting to and from school on their own, getting them ready for secondary school.

Most yr 6s with working parents (pre Covid so WFH rare) stopped going to after school club and just went home and got on with things until their parents came home from work. It's usually only a couple of hours.

When they are in secondary, they will have become accustomed to the routine. Parental involvement drops quite dramatically in secondary!

Thank you.

1. Regret - yes it's logical to see there would be that point of reflection. And equally if I don't move probably a point where I regret that too.
2. Pluses - I honestly don't know (and at this point I have a few hours to decide). The second organisation is higher in stats and general reputational terms.
3. Year 5 - not yet, we live a half hour walk from primary (will be same for secondary) crossing several main roads, not all with a proper crossing. We are working on road sense but not there yet. Several after school activities per week that are enjoyed and likely to continue but this is useful as extends pick up to later.

I want to thank everyone for your support over the weekend. I've decided to not accept the position. But, you have helped me consider what I would move for - something with more money, promotion and development. I'm less than confident in interviewing for something I don't already do, and could benefit from working with a coach who specialises in professional/executive interviews. If you know anyone in that line of work, I'd be happy for them to p/m me.