Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

OP posts:
girlfriend44 · 23/01/2024 20:45

Fizbosshoes · 23/01/2024 09:15

I think its traumatic for both mum and baby.
To get up and go out within an hour of giving birth when you're likely faint, sleep deprived, weak and bleeding heavily I think is indicative of someone in a very distressed and desperate state.
But that doesn't take away from the trauma and psychological impact of being a foundling, growing up to know or discover later, that you were abandoned.
It's possible to feel sympathy for both parties.

Your assuming she dumped the baby an hour after giving birth.
Just as likely to be someone else who was helping her.
No updates yet,?

fuckingcoldshowers · 23/01/2024 20:48

SmilingMoon · 22/01/2024 17:48

If you're going to argue that the mother shouldn't be held accountable at all, and receive support only, not justice and support, you're going to have to extend this to every desperate mother who abuses, abandons or neglects her children at any age. Whether that's leaving a 3 year old in a skip or abandoning a 5 year old up a deserted hill. Otherwise, you're suggesting that somehow being newborn means you matter less, which is ageism of the most callous kind.

Post natal depression and psychosis sometimes cause incredibly unwell mothers to harm their children - often believing that it is somehow the right thing to do to protect their child from further suffering. PND can persist beyond the baby years.

I'm completely convinced that those women too need extensive help and should not be punished with jail time, because they were extremely sick at the time and in altered states of reality.

Women in all of these situations have been failed by their families, medical team and wider society.

SmilingMoon · 23/01/2024 21:04

fuckingcoldshowers · 23/01/2024 20:48

Post natal depression and psychosis sometimes cause incredibly unwell mothers to harm their children - often believing that it is somehow the right thing to do to protect their child from further suffering. PND can persist beyond the baby years.

I'm completely convinced that those women too need extensive help and should not be punished with jail time, because they were extremely sick at the time and in altered states of reality.

Women in all of these situations have been failed by their families, medical team and wider society.

Show quote history

Women in all of these situations have been failed by their families, medical team and wider society.

I don't know that you can say with absolute certainty that women in all these situations are victims. It is possible that a some women who do such things are wilfully cruel, abusive and neglectful. Simply being a pregnant/post-natal woman doesn't automatically make you a victim when you commit an act like this... We don't know who this woman was, but I've seen enough stories of infant neglect and child abuse on the part of mothers to know that simply being pregnant/having just given birth doesn't automatically justify a hideous act of cruelty.

fedupandstuck · 24/01/2024 00:18

@girlfriend44 the baby was reported as "less than an hour old" so presumably was still showing signs of being literally just born. So the mother must have placed the baby there almost straightaway after giving birth.

girlfriend44 · 24/01/2024 00:55

fedupandstuck · 24/01/2024 00:18

@girlfriend44 the baby was reported as "less than an hour old" so presumably was still showing signs of being literally just born. So the mother must have placed the baby there almost straightaway after giving birth.

Did you read what I put.
Someone else could have put the baby there
She may have given birth with someone else present and they did it.

Whiskeypowers · 24/01/2024 08:59

Pallisers · 22/01/2024 14:46

Well, equally it could just be a woman who doesn't want the baby, it doesn't fit her narrative, is an inconvenience. I'd say that's more likely.

yes. because it is so convenient to give birth without any medical care and abandon your baby in a park. Literally a walk in the park, isn't it. And the chance of being found and charged with a crime - a doddle really. On the other hand an abortion would be so inconvenient. Or an adoption. I'm surprised more women don't chose this highly convenient option of concealing a pregnancy and abandoning a newborn.

Some very very sheltered and unimaginative posters here. Also maybe posters who enjoy thinking of women as evil bitches out to kill their babies for the pleasure of it- an hour after giving birth.

@Pallisers This is more or less how I feel and I agree with your post.

@Bbq1 if something is “inconvenient” to you or anyone else you wouldn’t risk your life giving birth in these situations. If you cannot comprehend that this situation almost certainly arose through a set of circumstances that eclipse the notion of inconvenience then I find that quite concerning.

fedupandstuck · 24/01/2024 09:17

Yeah, @girlfriend44 , it's a possibility but it is extremely unlikely.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page