Birthday day off school.

[Helpmeout124]

I know this will be controversial but I'm allowing my son to have 1 day off school to take him to London for his birthday, usually he goes to school on his birthday and will again next year but he's been having a really hard time at school lately, lots of friendship issues and coming home upset. And to be completely honest I just feel like he needs this. He needs a day where the 3 of us myself, him and his stepdad get away and just have a day that's all about him. We're going to London on the train first thing, we wants to go both museums, see the sights of London, go shopping at hamleys, and then I've booked tickets to see the lion king at the theatre in the evening, it's going to be a fantastic day and hopefully one he will always remember, but I feel a little guilty for booking it on his actual birthday ( a Wednesday) and not waiting for the weekend.

You should feel guilty. As you say, you can go at the weekend. What are you teaching your son? You don’t say how old your son is but taking a day off school for your birthday is simply ridiculous. Maybe you think your boss should give you a day off on your birthday?

I’m with you. This sounds lovely, especially as he’s been having a hard time. Yes it is important to focus on school and their education but equally so children need to know there is more to life than just plodding along like a robot doing what you’re expected without seeing the world, creating meaningful relationships and having wonderful experiences. This may give him the boost he needs. Enjoy!

I’d personally worry about the mixed messages I was giving my children, who are also having a hard time going to school at the moment, that it was ok to miss a day when you’re not ill. But don’t feel guilty about it, plenty of people take their children out of school for holidays whatever and this is just one day. Enjoy!

Normally I wouldn’t be for this as birthdays at school are usually quite exiting for DC with getting to have cake with the class in most instances but if he’s been having a hard time lately then this definitely sounds like a nice idea. Have a lovely time x

Ahh amazing. Have a great day!

Well, it sounds as though you’re somewhat concerned about it, or you wouldn’t have posted here. Are you going to tell the school, or will he be ‘ill’.

It’s your decision and I’m sure you’ll all have a great time, but it is a mixed message you’re giving him.

Such a bad precedent to set.

How is letting your child know that their mental health matters setting a bad precedent?

Many adults work themselves ill because they believe they need to be loyal to their jobs without even realising that they would be replaced with a click of a finger if necessary.

there is more to life than plodding through, doing as your told. Go to school, go to work, pay your taxes, don’t question anything you’re told.

Wrong decision op, think you know it - most of us go to work on our birthdays.

Talk about giving your child the wrong messages for life! We can't and shouldn't just take days off when we feel like it. I'm sure he would have enjoyed his day in London just as much if it was on a Saturday. Being indulged like this does him no good at all.

my son is 8 soon to be 9 in the space of this week alone he's been told he's looks like a blobfish, no-one likes him, he's dumb, and he's a dipshit. I feel like giving the poor kid a break for one day isn't the end of the world. I've been on at the school continuously about the issues to no avail, even tried to move him schools, but after waiting months for a decision they had no space for him. I remember being a child myself and when you're being picked on it's awful, and I'm sorry but reminding my son how loved he is on his special day, to me is hardly a crime.

I think it's a magical thing to do for him that he'll never forget. Some children thrive at school with great friendship groups and would much prefer being at school on their birthday but a small percentage of children just aren't fitting in quite so well so I think for a one off not in an exam year is fine personally.

Also I haven't been to London for 10+ years and I'm actually rather dubious about going anyway, but it's what he wants and I kind of thought, midweek would be slightly less busy and terrifying.

One day off is fine. I always take a day off work for my birthday! In fact, my work gives us an extra day’s holiday (birthday leave) which can be taken any day in your birthday month, so I think it’s a normal thing to do once in the world of work. I wouldn’t normally let my DD have the day off but only because I know she enjoys school. In your situation, I wouldn’t hesitate.

(Edited in light of your later post which makes clear that the tough time has been school related)

While I don't think one day will make a huge difference in terms of education (speaking as school staff myself) I would maybe consider the message it would be sending to him. I feel greatly for him, no child should be put through that and the school should be doing more to help. However if you let him have this day off you're sort of reinforcing that school is shit and he deserves a day doing something far better. What happens next time he has a shit day and doesn't feel like going in? I feel like "well yes but that was your birthday and now it isn't so I know we said that you deserve it before but now you don't, sorry" isn't going to cut it with him.

He doesn't need a day off school to reassure him you love him, he's special and the things the nasty kids say aren't true. He needs to hear this from you daily and to know that you're trying your best to make things better for him, not that you'll just give him time off. I'm of course not saying you DON'T do this! Just saying the day off won't be as helpful as you think it might be.

Sounds great.

Hope you have a brilliant time.

Ignore all the “perfect” mums please!! (Judgy holier than thou mums”… your DS is only young once. “What precedent are you setting?” One where he knows he’s loved and that Mum and Stepdad have his back! I did the same for my DS who’s now 17. He was in top set everything at school and is now studying in 6th form, voted top student in one of his subjects. He’s well rounded, polite and I couldn’t be prouder. DO WHAT MAKES HIM HAPPY BECAUSE NOT A SINGLE DAMN PERSON ON MUMSNET LOVES HIM LIKE YOU DO xx and happy birthday to him! Hope you have a WONDERFUL day! (And DONT FEEL GUILTY MUM!) xx

I have never heard about birthday days off apart from on mumsnet. Go at the weekend.

Not sure why you're posting when you're clearly happy with your choice and getting defensive at people who don't think you should take a child out of school on their birthday? You're doing it, not everyone thinks that's a good decision, since you asked.

It sounds like he needs it after a rough time. Enjoy your day and I hope he has a lovely birthday. I wouldn’t make a habit of it though and make it only a once off.

I think you made a good choice and I hope you both have a lovely day ☺️

Rubbish !!!
Don't feel guilty at all , give your precious son a lovely birthday one day off won't make a jot of difference to his education .
He's having a shit time and this ONE !! lovely day will be an escape from that.
As it happens my boss does give me a day off on my birthday , quite a few bosses do and i am very grateful too , i think its a really nice thing to do.

Are you asking for permission? Because you won't get it from school or mumsnet. But I think you're right. Have a lovely time. Your son will know that sometimes you don't have to battle through horrible feelings and give yourself a break, whatever the rules say.

Didn't realise everything was booked (oops, skim reading), in which case I wouldn't feel guilty. You're his parent and you felt it was the right thing to do when booking.

oh please don't feel guilty. I book my birthday off work every year. Why should a child spend their birthday in a place where they're being bullied and don't feel comfortable, and likely come home in tears. I would do the same for my child. I hope you have a lovely day!