Too excited to eat

[anareen]

DD (7) told me she only eats a little of her lunch at school because she is too excited and wants to go and play. This broke my heart. DD is very good about being self aware or simply things that will be beneficial for her. Ex. We talk about how she feels after a shower vs before, how certain foods keep her full longer than others etc etc. She is in activities outside of school where she gets interaction with other children. My thought is speaking to the teacher? Any other thoughts on how to navigate this?

FFS what is wrong with some mums these days. Heartbroken ! Get a bloody life. You have a healthy chid that loves life. Stop the bloody dramatics and ease up with your childs self awareness of every bloody thing from showers to clean food. She will still go to McDonalds when she is a teen.

I know, what is it with all these mums being heartbroken about every little bloody thing. Talk about an overreaction.

“I bring a banana, cheese sticks, nuts and a yogurt for the ride home”

Your car must be a right mess 😂

That brings back memories of the day I brought cocktail sausages with ketchup for the ride home. And had to do an emergency brake due to someone cutting in unwisely on a dual carriageway.

[shudder]

Haha I’m imaging you all getting out looking like you’d been in a very bloody RTA.

Op - I definitely think you should relax a bit. She could eat her leftover lunch in the car or (unless a 4 hour trip) wait til she gets home!

My sister’s dd was a premature baby and she struggled to put on weight. That definitely stayed with my sister for years afterwards- she was a little OTT about making sure dd ate/ always had lots of snacks. There was no need - my niece was a healthy girl- but even her mum admits she got a bit stuck in the mindset of worrying about feeding her enough.

She jokes about it now but sometimes you can get over anxious about (in hindsight) quite minor issues.

The only thing that occupies my thoughts about food is the nutrition value. She was on supplements as a toddler so it started there. She sees 3 different specialists for ongoing medical conditions. I am very involved with her medical needs and obviously have been for a while so possibly it has spilled over into nutrition as well? As far as showers she will give me a hassle about it so I try to tell her that we may not want to do these things but don't they make you feel so much better when you do finally do them! I've had to answer many questions and have many discussions about why she has to go through so many tests and procedures and long drives to the children's hospital hours away. Possibly I have become a bit "full force" with it all? I haven't thought of it that way. It's just been a way of life for a while it seems now.

@SmileyClare

Thank you for sharing this about your sister! This is possibly what is happening. She was on supplements as a toddler so it started there but she also has ongoing medical that I am very involved with so possibly I have become "full force" with other areas 😫

Yes it sounds like you’re hyper focused on your dds nutrition (or lack of). That does probably stem from having to give her food supplements as a baby?

Assuming she is not mal nourished then I think it would pay to relax a little over her food and eating.

Obviously follow her consultant’s advice but it doesn’t sound as though her medical condition requires her to eat every few hours.

You can at least reassure yourself that most kids her age have a couple of bites of their sandwich and rush out to play!

Correct! I am very thankful she doesn't have a medical condition that requires food every few hours! While I wish I could take her other medical needs away, and they do require involvement; it could always be worse 🙂 this all makes me feel much better. I will try to be lax in the areas I am able ☺️

he is not underweight thankfully! She does lack energy because of one of her medical conditions. She has expressed to me that she is so hungry by lunch time despite me giving her a good breakfast. So when she said she is more concerned about playing it makes me sad to think of her possibly being hungry all day until after school snack. She was also on supplements as a toddler. She sees a few specialists so I am very on top of and involved with her medical. With all her medical I see it as I don't want to possibly add another factor to make things worse so if I can provide her with nutritious food it won't hinder anything. I may be a bit overbearing with it though I am realizing. It seems my intense involvement has been required for some time now so it's spilling into other areas possibly. Thank you for this encouragement! ☺️ if they are hungry they will eat I suppose.

I understand about medical issues resulting in intense involvement and attention paid to other aspects of parenting! I do the same! I even (still) write down everything DS eats and what I feed him. And make all sorts of meal plans. I had to do it for his paediatric dietician and actually it ended up being really useful as I saw he ate a wider variety of foods than I realised.

I'm a big believer in supplements to cover the bases anyway when eating goes awry. I use complan powders when DS is in a low-eating phase.

I completely missed your previous comment! I am so sorry!

Idk how you deal with your DS not eating all day! That must be so difficult mama! I can understand why you would continue to write everything down given the circumstances. I make charts of the different food groups and add to my list as I incorporate new foods and such to give my DD a variety of nutrition but I have slacked on writing out different foods for each meal time. Your charting sounds quite rigorous! Don't give me ideas lol 🙈

Ah I get it totally now. We are in the same position medically and my obsession is with her getting enough rest. It's like the single thing I can do to make things better, and if I 'fail ' to make sure she has enough rest I feel like I'm failing her. I know logically it's silly but when you're otherwise helpless is also pretty understandable I think.

I still think you probably need to chill, but then again so do I. Honestly being more interested in playing than eating is very normal for kids and I think trying to get her to do otherwise will be a stressful losing battle. As long as she makes up for it other times then it shouldn't matter too much.

OP I just wanted to say well done for taking these comments on the chin rather than getting defensive. I think you're right that your necessary involvement in her medical needs (and perhaps anxiety over them?) has lead to too much intensity in some areas. I do get it. I have a disabled DC. Sometimes I find when I'm anxious about things I can't control I end up trying to control other things way too much to make up for it.

Thank you! 😊 i feel for you and DC 🥹 I am glad to see that it isn't completely abnormal given the circumstances but also that I am not alone; given the circumstances. It has brought some clarity and I always can appreciate constructive criticism 🫶

Ds had literally one bite of a sandwich for his lunch the whole way through Primary. He's 17 now, 6ft and thriving.

I'm glad to hear he didn't wither away! This gives me hope 🤭 lol

When I was little our school hired a lunchroom monitor lady who screamed (literally) at children who didn’t finish their lunch and made us all sit there quietly until every last child had finished every last morsel to her satisfaction.
Many days there was no time left for play because she had kept us in while one child struggled to eat the now-cold and very gross canned spinach or whatever the day’s gruel happened to be.
Half the children would be in tears and the other half would be in shock. She terrorised an entire school full of children.
She’d have made a great Nazi. Just the thought of her makes me shiver. And they kept her there an entire school year.

That's so awful! Poor children 😢💔

This now made me think of an experience I had at an in home daycare as a child. The lady would serve us so much food and make us eat it all even if we were full...... ugh 🤦🏻‍♀️

I'm in my 30s and still skip lunch or other meals because there's something else I want to be doing 😂

Love this energy! 😆👏🏻🤗

@anareen

is your car not a right mess op?

@LuckySantangelo35

I'm unsure if/why that is even relevant to my post.

My DS13 still does this! He just eats his lunchbox when he gets home as he is busy playing football at school :)

Makes me feel better to hear that your highly active child does this as well! 😊