What can I do in the evenings?

[DietCokeAddict19]

I’m recently single, and my kids are with their dad half the time, so there are a few nights a week when I am home alone. I usually default to being on my phone in front of the TV, and then by the end of the night wish I had done something more productive.

I run sometimes, but don’t enjoy it much in this weather! I could go to the gym, but the council run one that I tend to go to which is pay as you go is a drive away and I can’t always be bothered to get in the car!

I haven’t got loads of money to spend, so although I’d love to do an evening class or something, realistically I can’t afford that at the moment.

I am going to try painting and have bought an acrylic paint set. I have loads of books but am not really inspired to read any of them! I don’t really enjoy cooking, although I really should try and remedy that!

Any ideas welcome!

I don't have any fee evenings a week but if I did I'd crochet, binge watch tv, have a friend over, go for mid week drinks, do a beauty night where I washed, blow dried my hair, exfoliated, did my nails and applied all the lotions and potions. On separate nights obviously.

What do you like to do?

I joined an evening class at my local college, they have a range of free courses

I usually have a bath, do Yoga (YouTube) read a book, find a good box set, have a bit of a pamper with a face mask etc or just scroll on mumsnet all night.

Learn to knit/crochet? Or read? You can still do it with the tv on but feels a bit more productive than being on your phone.

I don’t how long it’s been, but I can say it gets easier. I started with making a meal that my daughter wouldn’t eat if she was here (spicy mainly) go through your cupboards and freezer and make a meal plan, do a shopping list.
Then I would walk although this isn’t really the weather and I would read ok magazine 😂 it was 10 years ago.

knowing now what I wish I knew then, I would have stayed OFF social media as the visions of all other happy families killed me!

as above, I’m 10 years in now and my body physically gets tired when my daughter is due to go to her dads as I’m ready and that’s our routine

also, if it’s possible…I got a cat! She is the best squeeze when I’m on my own

Dedicate some time to you...do exactly what you fancy. That might be watching tv or reading in the bath or batch cooking for the week or doing a meditation or just scrolling on your phone. Downtime with no demands is a luxury so don't feel like you 'should' be doing something (but I also know from experience it takes practice and feels a little lonely at first).

I know you say you don't have loads of money, but as you mention a couple of obstacles to doing exercise, get Fiit! It's about £120 I think for a yearly subscription, hundreds of exercise classes on there, much more efficient and easy to use than YouTube. That's my go-to.

And/or watercolours or a beginners embroidery kit from etsy.

I found a local group on meetup that do evening social stuff. Pub quiz, pub bands, bowling etc. I mainly do the band nights and have to drive into town so I go out for the price of a couple of soft drinks.

I also do 1000 piece jigsaws, do a free online monthly alternative music quiz night, read, watch YouTube music videos (especially ones from my teen years for the fun of rediscovery), .

I was like this last summer. I started with a blitz of the house - I did one room per evening. Cleaning and decluttering.

Then I started doing more things for myself. I like doing stuff like reading, batch cooking something nice just for me, having a bit of a pamper session. I've decided to re-paint my whole house (it's white walls throughout so gets mucky quickly with kids!). So I do the odd bit of painting the skirting boards in the evenings. I've also found myself doing lots of little jobs I put off for years. Like my son has models he ran out of enthusiasm to build, so I'm building and painting them for him.

You'll find your groove. Take it day by day and it quickly snowballs from there.

I like a jigsaw.

Or puzzley stuff like crosswords/Wordle/escape room type books/games.

Also, as recommended to me on here. There is an app called borrow box. If you have a library card, you can join up and listen to audiobooks for free. I have just finished Joe Wicks new book while pottering round the house.

don’t be scared to call on friends. You’re not a hindrance. I used to never message anyone and would isolate myself being at home on my own but the more I got used to it, I would message and chat to people more than I normally would as I had the time

I don’t know how old your children are but perhaps something you usually can’t do with them around. Like a relaxing bath (if you have one)? Yoga/pilates at home? (Follow along with some YouTube vids) Reread an old favourite to spark your interest back into reading? Something to keep your mind active, like Sudoku (or other puzzles)? I have a toddler so those are my go-tos as I don’t get much quiet time!

Well for a start you don’t have to do anything. Resting is a perfectly valid use of your time.

But if you’re bored then think about things that you enjoy. Invite a friend round for a brew, visit family etc. Or do the boring jobs that need doing so that you’re not so busy on the days you have the children, and therefore can do more fun stuff with them.

If I was lucky enough to have some child free time I'd want to get out of the house! The indoor stuff you mention can all be done when dcs are in bed on a night they're with you, so it would feel like a wasted opportunity not to get out while you have the chance.

I'm in a situation where I wouldn't really have friends to hang out with but I do have loads of places I could go - evening classes (subsidised rate here so not too expensive), late museum/gallery openings, free public lectures, late night shopping (for fun things/browsing not groceries), a gym with a pool and sauna, check Groupon etc for random deals for activities like climbing or yoga, cheap cinema deals or one of those cinema recordings of ballet or theatre.

@DrunkenElephant please may you share what YouTube Yoga you do please?

Duo Lingo, to learn a new language. I don't think the basic package is very expensive.
If you don't like cooking, maybe try baking cookies or cakes for when your DC come home.
Local Park Run at the weekends. I think they happen whatever the weather!
Voluntary work. Was thinking more of things at the weekends, but some things would happen in the evening eg Brownie/Cub/Guide/Scout volunteer, youth club helper etc.
Puzzles, or jigsaws. Or single player card games.
Sort out one cupboard/drawer per evening. And be ruthless!!
Cross stitch, or paint by numbers.
If you have a garden, wait a few weeks and then start growing your own fruit and veg.

Have you checked on your local fb sites? Mine do a local, all ability walking group/ book club. A local bar here does a weekly pub quiz. Suppose it depends what you are interested in. I would definitely reach on on FB. Enjoy!!!

Learn to shuffle dance? There are lots of videos on YouTube.

I'm on a break in the middle of an online language class. Then I'll be running a bath while I finish my ironing pile in front of the TV. Might read a bit before bed, too. Other nights I go for a swim. Last night was yoga class. Could do crafts, catch up with friends, exercise, nothing...

Yes an evening college course is a good idea. Or you could join a running group or team sports group or different hobby group. They have loads of groups on fcebook. You could listen to audio books while you paint or get stuff done in the house. Or you could get an evening job?

Crochet. I learned a couple of years ago and I absolutely love it. It’s good for the mind - helps you clear your head.

Are there any causes you feel for? You could do some volunteering, a lot is possible online from home. Have a look at some of the mental health charities like Shout. They only expect you to do a couple of hours a week, but it’d be nice to fill your time doing something helpful. And you can do A face pack and paint your nails while doing that!

Thanks for all these brilliant suggestions! I’ll work though them all and make a list that I can refer myself back to!

The house does need painting, so that could be a long term project! The first part of that is working out what colour I want to paint it! I don’t really the colour of the kitchen/hallway as it is at the moment, but don’t know what I would actually want to change it to!

Not sure how close to a B&Q or Homebase you are but both of mine always have clearance paint which is cheaper and helps decide x

I mean this nicely and not to be depressing, but this time is shit. I never imagined when I had a child that she would never not be in her own bed. Just be kind to yourself…it’s all you can do when you are trying to be busy!

Hi OP, I’m in a similar situation and I joined the OU. One option is Open Learn, these are short courses and they have hundreds to choose from, they are free. However, you don’t get the chance to connect with fellow students, you do just study alone. On the plus side, you can start any time you like.

Alternatively, you could do a module at degree level, it takes about 8 hours per week. If you’re eligible the cost could be covered by a student loan , which you only repay if you earn over a certain amount. You don’t have to commit to a whole degree, it’s possible to do just one module like « Beginners French » or « You and Your Money » and it’s still covered by the loan. Students on these modules can connect with each other via the forums, online tutorials and other online events. If degree level sounds a bit scary there are ‘access’ courses to ease students into studying with the OU.

Why not enter competitions love you could win allsorts for the kids birthday and christmas holidays and days out for you all go on Loquax dont pay to enter love x good luck