What’s a weird thing your In-Laws do?

[FirstFallopians]

I was thinking there about how my BIL maintains that all families are a little bit weird to someone else.

Thought he was being flippant but then I remembered that my in-laws keep their family toothbrushes and toothpaste in a drawer in their bathroom. If you need a bit of floss after Sunday lunch you need to stick your hand into a sticky, damp mass of plastic and bristles.

What slightly weird things do your in-laws do?

Love the seagull analogy! I lived by the water most of my life and now can't get the picture out of my mind.

I guess they buy them
instead of bin bags 🤷‍♂️

Presumably, but it's an expensive way to get something less suitable for the job.

I read it as smoke a joint!

One thing that drives me absolutely mad about MIL is she never has actual two-way conversations with her grandchildren. She will ask them a question and then answer for them (always in the affirmative) without missing a beat.

Example:

”Are you enjoying swimming lessons? Yeah you are”

Even this weekend she gave my 12yo some money, and said “Do you have a purse with you to put that in? Yeah you do” 😂 I actually said to her “You didn’t let her answer! You answered for her!”

It’s sad because it’s like she doesn’t even give them the respect or courtesy of letting them speak to her, and listening to what they say. it’s such a basic thing she can’t seem to do.

Oh this is infuriating. I know a couple of mums who do this.
Anyone asks the kids a question and she answers for them.
Totally understand if it's Little ones who can't string a sentence together, but it's pre-teens who are capable of holding a conversation.
No tricky questions either, just basic chat.

DP's mum does this to everyone

"Is David working this weekend?I expect he is because they're saving up for a new kitchen."

"Have you seen Joan this week?No,because she's still trying to shake off that cough".

You don't have time to open your mouth.

No!!!!

Exactly, no time to open your mouth!

Generally I just let it slide, I’m used to it and (more importantly) the kids aren’t bothered because most of the time they haven’t even noticed that they’re being spoken to. They’re so accustomed to this barrage of stream-of-consciousness chatter, it’s just the norm for Grandma’s house 😂

But sometimes… sometimes it really bugs me that she lacks awareness so much. Just take an interest in what your grandchildren have to say to you!

My fil will listen and listen to my daughter. My mum asks a question and then moves onto another question or says something about herself , you can probably get three words out before she does it. Does it to me as well , her saying the question seems more important than hearing an answer. Some kind of social ineptitude I suppose.

Hanging washing out in the rain

I think the weird thing is the lack of flexibility. My MIL constantly complained that DD when she was younger had a routine and I needed to be flexible, but what she meant was DD needed to fit in with her inflexible routine (no 2 year olds don’t want dinner at 7.15pm..).

@FlipFlop1987

‘They also post cards just to say ‘Thank You’. Things like thanks for inviting us to your wedding, for a Christmas present, for having them for a meal etc etc but then for a genuine celebration like an anniversary, they don’t bother.’

Thank you cards, just good manners, and considered really bad manners not to do it. All before instant messaging.

We were made to sit and write our thank you cards to every family member/friend who gave a gift. Had a set format too, which included what the gift was and why we liked it! Took days as a child!

This thread just shows that ILS aren't weird, but that everyone of us has different ideas and in fact we are all weird!😆

Husband mentioned in passing to MiL that he was on the lookout for some wooden tongs like they have, she found some up their way (they’re 4 hours away) so posted them to us. Thought it would be nice to address parcel to our 9 year old daughter so she got something in the post - but she just sent a pair of wooden tongs to her, anonymously. Nothing for her or her sister (small bit of chocolate would have gone down very well) or even a note. As far as my 9 year old was concerned she was sent a pair of wooden tongs from an anonymous person. Just…. Fucking weird.

The thank you cards for gifts etc. absolutely fine, totally understand. I did it too when little. It’s the ‘thank you for inviting us to your wedding’, that gets me. You’re DH’s parents of course you were invited. Unfortunately there was a lot of animosity around the wedding and invites (or lack of) to DH’s side of the family who we had never met, so it was sort of passive aggressive.

In relation to the food routines, my grandparents lived well into their 90s and like many others had rigid meal times. If someone offered my Grandad a bit of cake at 4pm he would be taken aback, but we have dinner at 6pm! He would worry about losing his appetite. Being really hungry before dinner was normal and expected, these days we can't cope with hunger and feel entitled to snack. Sugary items like dessert came straight after a meal so teeth didn't decay. They didn't exercise for the sake of it but incorporated movement into their lives. My grandad spent months in rehab in his 90s after a car crash and when he finally came home completely freaked out that he had gained 9lbs. He skipped dessert and took slightly smaller portions for a few weeks and all was well again. When I think about it, it's actually embarrassing how us younger generation live and raise our own.

Using the microwave as an extra cupboard - it was a misguided gift from BIL years ago and has never, ever been switched on.

MIL used to only eat standing up in the kitchen after spending hours cooking amazing meals and serving us. I never saw her eat more than a biscuit for years. She’s now quite elderly and suddenly started eating with us at the table.

Cooking an entire roast chicken for the local fox family every Sunday. This one made me smile.

That’s all a bit joyless though. My grandparents were the same - obsessed with their weight, rigid routines and mealtimes, and everything was OK apart from sweets and chocolate, which were bad.

my parents are getting slightly the same way in retirement, dinner is at 5pm.They do still go for meals out at more normal evening-meal-times but I fear when that stops happening.

It’s not embarrassing to enjoy food and snacks and eat when you’re hungry.

But most people of that generation had tooth decay to the extent that they had all their teeth removed at the earliest opportunity. These days we hope that we will keep most if not all our natural teeth for life.

@Traumdeuter it is embarrassing for me though cos I let myself get fat from snacking! And my sister too, she is obese and we were raised to always reward with food. I am trying to not repeat the mistake with my own kids but it's hard.

Not my in laws, but my parents. When we bought a new combination microwave, we gave them our basic one.
Next time we went, it was nowhere in sight. My husband asked my dad how they were managing with it.
They weren't. It was (wait for it) in the conservatory, not plugged in, with a blanket over it fastened with bungee cords, as it was some kind of hazard. They'd never used it.
I should've known better. I'd bought it when l still lived at home, and my mother wouldn't let me put it in the kitchen. I had to keep it in my bedroom.
The time after that when we visited, she announced she'd given it to the neighbour across the road.

My dad is like this drives me bonkers but just accepted it

Even if it's someone's birthday and Callie's offered it's always "no thank you, it will ruin my tea" even though tea will
Be at least 4 hours away

@Outwiththenorm - my MIL does that! Eats some small bits off of a side plate standing up, while we feast on her cooking. It has always made me so uncomfortable, both the bit about her not joining us and the fact that no-one else seemed to notice or care!!

Yes we had this. I was like "so we have to upset the 1 years olds routine to fit in with the 62 year olds routine " bonkers

We had this!

MIL said "if there's one piece of advice, it's stick to a routine" (sidebar - if only there was one piece of advice!).

Except we didn't know the routine we would be sticking to was hers, and she'd want us to bring the baby 45m across town in the late afternoon so she could have her usual lunch with friends.