What’s a weird thing your In-Laws do?

[FirstFallopians]

I was thinking there about how my BIL maintains that all families are a little bit weird to someone else.

Thought he was being flippant but then I remembered that my in-laws keep their family toothbrushes and toothpaste in a drawer in their bathroom. If you need a bit of floss after Sunday lunch you need to stick your hand into a sticky, damp mass of plastic and bristles.

What slightly weird things do your in-laws do?

TBH I think you’re just deliberately being pernickety. All your posts on this thread have been criticising others.

@UnravellingTheWorld What about someone touching your glass disturbs you? Do you have to see someone touch it? Is it a lift and move in particular, or would any touch make it unusable? This thread is fascinating. Makes me feel much better about all my little eccentricities!

She buys her dog a Christmas present... and wraps it up.
After Christmas dinner serves cold leftover meat with hot veg

Future DILs will be writing about me if these things are considered weird <whispers> but not nearly as weird as the glass thing!

TBF the glass thing isn’t half as weird as a lot of stuff I have to do, but wrapping up presents for a pet is totally normal.

I buy the cat a present and wrap it up. It’s his favourite day of the year 😂

You're not alone. I've terrible eyesight and require big lights.
Cannot drive in the dark now, I think I'd be a menace on the roads at night. I don't own lamps, what's the point, I cant see enough with them on. My kitchen has some led things that make it as bright as an operation theatre.

Useful for me when using knives.

I see references here to flimsy carrier bags for rubbish, instead of bins, one of my inlaws does this and it drives us mad. Sometimes the bag is quite small and you have to wrangle in a piece of drippy raw chicken styrofoam into it while it hangs from the door handle - haha!

My sil is the same and she will not allow subtitles.

I sit there watching moving pictures with no idea of plot or characters!

Big bright overhead light on at slight hint of darkness. Plenty lamps too just never on. Mil cuts in half face wipes. Absolutely loaded too so it's not a monetary thing. She is nice though.

Yes, there have been quite a number of things on this thread that I think that applies to: old fashioned, rather than weird. Or cultural rather than weird. It’s interesting really as, on a thread designed to root out our oddities, it’s almost a confirmation of how little humans really stray from a broader picture of very standardised behaviour.

Presumably these SsiL can both hear it themselves, which suggests the visitors who can't actualy don't have good hearing.

And do all the people using carrier bags as bins have massive stocks from when they used to be free, or are they still paying for bags with every shop just so they can use them for rubbish?

We do this for our dog....and on his birthday 😬🤣

My friend told me that her Dad would insist on potatoes being included in every meal. No matter what it was he'd have a pot of potatoes, on the floor as the table was too small, that he'd offer to everyone at various points throughout the meal.

She didn't realise this was weird until her sisters husband pointed out that other families don't do this.

It makes me feel very old!
People who've never heard of Monday wash day for example...
Or maybe my parents and grandparents are/were old fashioned so I'm connected to an earlier time than everyone else.

One thing I didn't know about was tea at 11am and 3pm. I've known people have elevenses, but I would have thought tea in the afternoon was at 4. That's definitely the stereotype internationally, which might be a confusion between a copy of tea and afternoon/high tea.

Who have I criticised? I've just disagreed that certain things are weird. What's wrong with that?

Some things are totally weird of course, but me going 'oh how weird' wouldn't really add anything to the conversation whereas 'this used be the norm' I think can do.

My grandparents all had elevenses and 4pm tea, evening meal at 8. 11 am was simpler: shortbread and tea normally. 4 pm was a cloth on the tea table finger sandwiches and and cake. My grandmother filled the silver teapot at least twice each day. I guess once you’re in the habit it’s no different from a china pot. I struggle to dunk a teabag and drink before it goes cold. I do blame much of this on technology- there’s always something intruding on downtime. Life is indisputably less healthy as even with shortbread and cake each day they somehow didn’t put on weight. Where are we all going wrong with lifestyle?!

Turn up at Christmas with no presents. Its only FIL as MIL passed away a few years ago.

He came for lunch, was given his gifts (from DH and I) and also DD as this is the first year she has had money to buy a gift herself. Hardly said thank you and had no gifts for anyone (not even his teenage grandchildren) apart from my own mother who got a very nice set of Liz Earle products.

He offered to pay for the meat on the day which he did. We are baffled and DH is too embarrassed to discuss it. Maybe he viewed paying for some food as his gift?

In the north-east my grandparents (when retired) had:
Breakfast about 7-7.30am (toast, porridge, bacon and eggs/boiled eggs)
Elevenses about 10.30-11 am (biscuits and tea)
Dinner/Lunch about 12.30-1pm (cooked lunch - eg gammon, potatoes, veg plus pudding).
Afternoon tea about 3.00-3.30pm (cake and cup of tea)
Tea (probably called dinner elsewhere) about 5.30pm-6pm (cooked light meal eg homemade soup or scrambled eggs and bacon and mushrooms or homemade pie and pickles, followed by piece of fruit or cake/biscuits with cup of tea).
Supper about 9pm. Cup of tea slice if bread and butter or cracker biscuits and cheese.

Sunday evening was baking and making soup for Monday and Tuesday so she could get on.
Monday was washday.
Tuesday was ironing day. My gran had a husband, 3 children, 2 brothers, and her father living with her so lots of ironing.

Again, that’s quite a lot of cake! Yet they say there is an obesity problem greater than ever before.

My guess would be that present buying is a woman’s job and he’s developed a kind of learned helplessness where he feels like the business of present buying (especially figuring out what to get everyone) is beyond him. Sounds like he did feel like offering to pay for some of the food was his contribution to Christmas.

That doesn’t explain why your mum was the only person to get a gift though!

Lots of people can't cope with present-buying for various reasons. I have a relative who does the same at Christmas, always turns up empty handed, but I know why it's so hard for them so I'm keen to make sure they feel they are still welcome even if they haven't brought presents.
Offering to pay for the meat was a nice gesture, and probably his way of trying to compensate for the lack of present-buying, which he, for whatever reason, can't cope with.

I was talking to DH about just this the other day.What we both remember is:

Apart from occasional fish and chips as a treat our grandparents only ate home-made from scratch meals or baking.

They ate smaller portions than we eat now. For example my gran served two smallish boiled half potatoes and 3 for men (😁). I would eat 3 or 4 smallish boiled potatoes and DH would easily eat 4 or 5.

There were no 'extras' so no snacks between those set times- no crisps for example or cheese and crackers, olives, dips and a beer/glass of wine watching tv.

They never had takeaways or bought ready meals.

They walked almost anywhere local eg within 3 -4 miles. Library, park, work, town, relatives or friends houses.

Our grandads had allotments.

We both recalled bags of boiled sweets but that was about it. Chocolate was an occasional treat.

There was just more moderation. My grandma's slices of cake were not generous at all. A biscuit would be a digestive or rich tea- nothing swathed in chocolate and just the one. Cheese was a small cut piece of cheddar or cheshire- no squishy moresome soft cheeses or tempting range of cheeses. I can demolish cheese. I think they were influenced by rationing. My gran never made anything with pasta or anything in a rich sauce. Sandwiches were simple affairs : a thin layer of cheese and sliced tomato, or ham and mustard. No mayo, not stuffed full of fillings, no large subway style buns, just two slices of bread. If she served crisps with sandwiches, it would be a normal sized bag split between 3 people, not a bag each.

I think we are much greedier now.

I think so too. But unfortunately I had just finished some crackers and runny Brie when I read this. 😕 Portion sizes are much bigger and I suspect additives have quite a lot to do with modern health issues. I also agree about the walking. What I find really interesting is if I look at my step counter after taking “exercise” I am always a bit disappointed. If I carry my phone round doing household tasks, running errands etc. I am stunned what I rack up and I don’t even notice I’ve done it. I do believe we are built for lives hanging out washing ( not biffing in the tumble dryer) , growing vegetables ( not getting delivery then looking at phone), picking flowers for the vases from the garden etc and all the sorts of “exercise “ my grandparents did without ever setting foot in a gym. A naturally more active lifestyle and moderation were key I think.

I have been on a diet since Christmas- am currently feeling like a medium-size whale.
I have just been sensible- eating potato and 3 veg with my tea at night, and fruit salad for pudding, having home made veg soup for lunch. The only 5 things I haven't eaten are:crisps, takeaways, cheese (apart from cottage), chocolate or ready meals. I have clocked up a stone lost today with no exercise (that's my next thing- back to walking locally).
What has struck me is I have enjoyed it-particularly the fruit and 3 veg. I seem to sleep better. I have no heartburn. My energy levels are better.
I was feeling lazy, stodgy and tired all the time and all I thought about was food as 'treats'.
It hasn't been rocket science or very restrictive. Had friends round last weekend and I did have hummus, tzatziki, flafels, a veggie samosa and nice cheese crackers with a green salad, olives and tomatoes. I gave the crisps and cheese a miss but that was all.

I haven't had to make an effort. But it has been sensible and relatively unprocessed. Apart from last Friday, my gran would happily have eaten all of it- the soup is her recipe.

Can I keep it up? I don't want to say yes and be here in a fortnight whining that I haven't- I should be able to. It's not anything faddy- just sensible. I eased myself into it by replacing things eg a ready meal at lunchtime with the home-made soup, my mashed-with-butter potatoes at tea-time with the veg, 3 fruit oat cakes (like them mid-morning) with chopped fruit. I've still had bread just 1/4 the amount I did eat.

I am just used to eating way too much and high fat food. My tea-time plate would feed my gran and grandad. And I have become a lazy lump. So back to much more general walking is my next thing.

It all sounds very sustainable too. And the funny thing is that on a thread about how weird ILs are we actually get to the point that some of their old habits are less fundamentally weird than things that seem normal today. MN in 20 years time will probably be posting “ my MIL eats sandwiches the size of a small skyscraper.”

They all pick their nose without any attempt to be discreet. It's both parents in law and the siblings in law. My partner doesn't but it's just disgusting when we meet as a family and they all sit there with a finger up their nose!