What surname should I give to my baby?

[SapphireSeptember]

Currently three and a half months pregnant. I have a dilemma. My surname comes from a previous marriage. (We've been separated since 2018 but not divorced.) I'm with someone else, but don't know if that relationship is going to work long term. Pregnancy was unplanned and unexpected but I didn't want a termination. So, do I give the baby my surname or my partner's?

Your surname, no question.

Is the baby your current boyfriend's baby?

Personally I'd give the baby whatever name it is you use for yourself.

Can you go back to your maiden name and you and the baby share that last name.

Bit odd to use your ex’s

Do you have other children is that why you haven’t changed your name back

I would consider changing back to your maiden name and using that for your baby.

Change you surname by deed poll back to your maiden name. Then give your child the same name as you.

I don’t think you should have a different name to your child, especially if it might not work out with your current partner. That being said it does seem a bit odd to use your ex’s name. I’d change your name back to your maiden name by deed poll if not by divorce and use that.

This. Why would you even consider giving your partner's name?

Divorcing after separated for 5 years would be a better option - although I realise that could take a while and does not help for you in the next 6 months. As others have said - do it by deed poll .

Long-term - divorce your husband unless you really want to stay married

Id go back to my Maiden name and baby takes that name

Wouldn’t it be a bit odd to give your baby your ex DH’s last name? They have no relation? It’s really straight forward to change your last name by deed poll- would you revert back to your maiden name and give that same name to the baby?

Go back to your maiden name and give baby this?

Whichever name you yourself are planning to use long term.

You've got to sort your divorce before the baby's born!

Otherwise your husband is legally recognised as your baby's father!

He would have full parental rights regardless of biology.

You need to sort this asap.

Your partners surname would be better than your ex husbands!

My dc have their dads surname despite the fact that we split before second dc was even born. Them having a different surname to me has never caused any problems, even when travelling to places like Australia when they were very young. The school called me mrs "their surname" a couple of times but that's it.

But if you're going to revert back to your maiden name at some point then that would be a good option too

This. I definitely would not give baby exh surname. That would be weird.

In your shoes I would go back to maiden name. I'm divorcing but did a deed poll to change my name back to sort passports for me and DD. I had double barrelled and DD was the same but we both have my maiden name now.

Unless you really dislike your maiden name and plan to keep the one from your ex, but that is a bit unusual!

Your maiden name

To use your married name for a child that is fathered by someone else is odd.
Really strange.
Go back to your maiden name

Use your name. Your surname is not your ex’s, it doesn’t belong to him - it’s yours legally so use it if you intend to keep that name. If however you plan to change back to your maiden name , your preference though nobody else’s, then get on and change it by deed poll now and give baby that name.

I changed back to my maiden name and registered DD in that name too.

Do you have children already? Because that's the only thing that would make me think twice about giving the new baby your maiden name. Otherwise it's clear cut: your maiden name.

Statutory declaration back to your maiden name, then your child can share your name with you.

Well, I was planning on staying with this surname unless I ever remarried, because at this point it's my name, and if I change back to my old surname I'll have to change everything else as well! (Passport, bank account, church records, etc.)
Also a bit of spite involved, my ex-H was so insistent I change my surname when I married him, that now I'm keeping it. One of my ex-bf's mum had an issue with my surname and still being married, even though I said if I was divorced I wouldn't change my name back. Plus have you seen how expensive getting divorced is? I can't afford that! Getting married barely cost me anything!

@heartofglass23 Pretty sure that's not true. My dad was/is in the same position, his wife walked out on him and he's still technically married to her years later. He's been with my mum for over 36 years and they've had four kids together. Does that mean some random woman had parental rights over me and my siblings?

@GaraMedouar That's exactly how I feel! I'm glad someone gets it.

No other children, this is my second pregnancy and the first one to make it this far, so I'm hoping all goes well. Also I'm 35, so knowing I don't have long left to have a baby, I've decided to take this opportunity with both hands, even if it was an accident and unplanned.

Does that mean some random woman had parental rights over me and my siblings?

No, because she didn't give birth to you. The mother is almost always known. The father, less so. The first presumption in law is that if the mother is married, that her husband is the father of her child. The naming of the father on the birth certificate comes second, but it will rebut the first presumption if you put down someone else than your husband. There is no need to presume the mother, because usually we clearly just saw that a woman gave birth to this child.

Yes this. Your name is yours. If you're keeping it then give it to your child.