What surname should I give to my baby?

[SapphireSeptember]

Currently three and a half months pregnant. I have a dilemma. My surname comes from a previous marriage. (We've been separated since 2018 but not divorced.) I'm with someone else, but don't know if that relationship is going to work long term. Pregnancy was unplanned and unexpected but I didn't want a termination. So, do I give the baby my surname or my partner's?

If you want to keep your name and don’t see yourself changing then give the baby your name. If they want they can change their name when they are older.

I didn’t change my name when I married as I liked my name. But I think the upshot of that is if you change your name when you get married that’s your name. Your name is your own no matter where you get it and you can keep it or change it as you want.

Maiden name, a completely new name? You get to choose OP, no need to change your passport etc, that all stands until it expires.

What you do need is for you and baby to have the same name...and that could be anything 😁

Keeping a name to piss off the x husband is showing him that you still care. This is a new chapter, start it afresh pick a good name and change it by deed poll.

Do look at no fault divorce, should be easy enough after 5 years.

Change your name to whatever you like and call the baby that.

My DD surname came from a book and she kept it after her marriage (she didn't want her father's name) and her DC took her name not her then husband's. Caused upset for his family and their patriarchal values but meh!

When I separated from ExH I just went back to using my maiden name. I didn’t do it by deed poll, just changed my name using my birth certificate with work, bank, doctors, DVLA etc. This was before the divorce proceedings had even begun. It was very easy.

Whatever name you plan on keeping going forward.

Even if you remarry, I would plan on keeping whatever last name you give your child.

you do need to review the local laws on having a baby while separated. There are many places that presume a husband is the father and automatically grants him parental rights.

My dad was/is in the same position, his wife walked out on him and he's still technically married to her years later. He's been with my mum for over 36 years and they've had four kids together. Does that mean some random woman had parental rights over me and my siblings?

I'm not sure of the parental rights stuff but if your dad is still married to another woman I hope he has made a will as without one his WIFE will inherit his estate. This is a fact.

Re your child, as your husband, your ex can legally register the birth and name the child. In the absence of another name on the birth certificate he would be assumed to be the father.

I get what you're saying about keeping your married name (the only place I use mine is on the account my ex pays maintenance into for the exact same stubborn reason) but it would be insanely odd to give your ex's family name to your new baby.

Get divorced,change your name and fgs make sure your dad has made a will.

The birth mother has PRR and whoever she is married to at the time.

If your dad was still married to someone else when he had you with your mum that's an entirely different scenario.

If you plan on keeping the name you have been using for years then that is the one I'd give the baby.

However, I would get a divorce and start legally single again, just my opinion.

Give the baby your last name. That will be I t’s name at birth anyway as the hospital will create its birth record and ID bracelet as Baby Boy / Girl Sapphire.

if that last make happens to the be the one you changed it to when you got married but you intend to keep it and it’s your identity then so be it.
Your last name isn’t on loan from your ex, neither is it giving the baby the family name of your ex, it’s your name.

but yes, others are right. You do need to look into the what it means for your baby if you’re married but the baby is not from the marriage. As do your parents as your mum could be in a very vulnerable position.

Your surname is your name.

I don't thinkntheres any need to go through the hassle of changing your name too.

You wouldn't be giving your baby your ex husband's name, you'd be giving them your name.

I wouldn't give it your boyfriend's name.

You really need to get divorced before having someone else’s child

So you went through the whole faff of changing everything to your husbands name when you married but you're not prepared to do the same for your child who will always be your child. Seemingly to get back at your ex. Right.

Frankly it is very strange to give your child your ex's surname. Just change your name back and give the child your name.

Don’t ever give a baby a name you’ve kept partly out of spite.

And if you think getting a divorce is expensive…….paying for a child is going to be a real shock.

Time to grow up. Quickly.

I agree with a PP. Your baby will be considered a child of the marriage. If you put your partner's name on the BC then he will have PR for your baby and your husband will not. This is why either one of a married couple can register a baby's birth, but they must go together to register the baby if they are not married.

Firstly, get divorced, it doesn't have to be expensive.

Give the baby your surname.

It's actually really easy to change your surname it's just time consuming and a bit of a faff.

Use your name. It’s yours as much as your ex’s

The spite thing is stupid though - so if there’s no other reason (ie other kids) to hold onto your current name then go back to your maiden name. It will be a little odd for the baby to have the name of a random guy you used to be married to.

Divorce isn’t expensive if you do it yourself, so get on and do that. Yes your ex will have a claim on your estate till you formally end the marriage.

Between the spite thing and not understanding marital law and getting pregnant outside an established relationship, you do not sound terribly grown up OP. You might want to address that swiftly, given you are about to be a parent.

I agree with PP, use your legal surname, it will make life much easier for you.

Personally I don’t understand why you wouldn’t use your maiden name. Your ex ‘insisted’? I think you would be much more empowered if you undid this ‘insisted’ and claimed your own self a bit more, your choices, your own name, not one a man made you take on marriage and you just acquiesced.

I don’t think changing names on passports is that big of a deal, otherwise you wouldn’t have done it in the first place. That’s a red herring. I also think not getting a divorce is a red herring. Get some good counselling or support and reclaim yourself?

My kids have my maiden surname and it’s a really nice.

It is true that your husband would have parental rights over the baby until birth you and your boyfriend registered the baby.

Any baby born to a married woman is legally assumed to be the dh's... Don't do this to yourself op. Or your dc... Even for a matter of days..
I changed my surname to my dp's first name... Ds is first name +dh's first name. We married but I /ds didn't take dh's surname..

Could you double barrell your surname and partners? Whether it works out between you two long term isn't the issue, he will still be the child's biological father. It might be confusing to your child later in life if he/she has your ex husbands surname. I would prefer my biological Fathers surname.

Is the baby's dad planning on being involved? Do you see him being a good dad? If so I would go with his name for the baby actually, it will be a connection between the baby and that side of their family and your name is your ex husband's so no connection. Even if you'r relationship doesn't last he'll always be a Dad

Giving your child the family name of your ex-husband would be incredibly odd in my opinion.

I think you have to go with your own surname. no matter you are divorce and in a relationship where you are not looking for any hope. so it is better to choose your own surname. At end child is your.