Is it ever okay to be called a man as a woman ?

[fatmess]

My husband has really upset me this morning.
He asked a stupid question and I lightheartedly called him a prat. Well apparently I'm a man, that is a man's word and something once of the lads call each other... so im one of the lads, a bloke. He was being horrible when he said it, not messing around.
Now I might be over reacting but I'm 8 months pregnant, very emotional and hormonal, feel disgusting as it is and so far from attractive, he hasn't come near me in months and now all I can think is that he really does see me that way, a bloke.
I'm really upset and cried my eyes out saying thanks alot, that's really insulting and I was only messing about. I feel like absolute shit.
He knows how bad I feel about myself, I've voiced my insecurities about him not wanting to sleep with me and said I'm worried you don't fancy me anymore.
He has just stormed off to work and basically told me to fuck off and if I didn't call him a Pratt he wouldn't feel the need to call me a man

What sounds unhealthy about this interaction is that your dh picked on something he knew you were sensitive to so he could really hurt you.
Just be aware of this dynamic because it will happen again.
Don't react to it next time and be aware of why he's doing it.

maybe it's going too far and you need to take the lead and not call him names.

It sounds childish and I completely see why your feelings were hurt. His probably were too.

Life is about to get a whole lot more stressful for a little while, and you need to support each other. Have a conversation about it and agree to not do it for a while.

Do women really need to keep on crying hormonal everytime something happens, it is not an excuse

@fatmess I’m glad you’ve sorted this one out but really it is a wake up call to sit down and talk and communicate. Clearly this pregnancy hasn’t been easy on you, but your husband has to also live with that version of you- also not easy. You say your sex life has changed too- again this impacts both of you and your ability to feel connected. These things are NOT going to get easier when a baby arrives- and may well get harder. So talking NOW and agreeing on respectful conversations and supportive actions etc is a great idea.

Thats a lot of projection.

You are assuming he thought about what insult could hurt worst and targeted her insecurities.

What he came back with was stupid and, most likely, isn’t something he really thought about. He just said it.

Just like Op didn’t really think about what she was saying. As she posted, now they both apologised (sincerely) and she understands why what she said upset him.

I am sure whatever the reason it really bothered him, she didn’t think about either. But not maliciously

@Wheresthefibre it may very well be projection but I've seen it happen a lot where people who use insults, whether joking or not, can escalate it to intentionally find the most hurtful insult they can think of.

Well of course that happens.

But there’s no reason to think it happened here.

It appears easy to accept the Op didn’t say it with the intent it was taken with. Why would it be definite he just bit back without really thinking about what she said?

Stating that you know his intention about it, when you don’t is unfair at best. And not helpful to the Op.

I think you're both being immature. 8 months pregnant or not. Maybe stop calling each other names, actually communicate like two adults and be kinder to one other.

Maybe communicate like an adult by reading the date on posts before reopening an old thread justo to post a pissy comment?

Hopefully the OP is busy with a not so new baby now!

I didn't realise there was a statue of limitations, ErrolTheDragon. And yet you chose to continue on an 'old thread' by responding. Ok.