What time do your children go to bed?

[Noed]

My DM is very pushy when it comes to my children, she is always criticising my parenting and she is adamant that I am in the wrong here so opinions would be great thank you.

I have a 12 year old and a 10 year old who currently go to bed at 9pm on a school night and 11pm at the weekends, they are doing well at school and do not seem tired during the day however my DM keeps on at me about how it is too late of a bedtime.

So I would like to hear others opinions on this as she goes on and on until I keep questioning whether I am in the wrong.

Thank you.

I think 11pm is too late for a 10 year old. And a bit too late for a 12 year old. I would say 9pm for the 10yo and 10pm for the 12yo would be better.

My 8, 10 and 11 yos are upstairs for 2000 and lights off 2100. Same on weekend with a bit of leeway for parties and strictly! We go to bed 2230 so there will never be an 2300 bedtime here!

9pm is about right

11pm at the weekend seems pretty late… But I’m guessing maybe you like a cheeky lie in ??? 😉 in which case if it works on for the kids crack on…

I’d say 11pm is much too late at the weekends.
During the weekdays I’d say 9pm is fine for lights out but I’d say up to bed at 8.30pm. If it’s up at 9pm and in reality 20mins or faffing then it’s too late.

I have two 11 year olds. On school nights lights out at 9pm and 10pm on weekends.

Gosh 11 on a weekend is exceedingly late for a 10 year old! They may not seem tired but I can't imagine they aren't affected by such a late bedtime every weekend.

9-10 is plenty late enough at those ages.

Thank you all, I will make bedtimes earlier at the weekends and say lights out for 9pm during the week.

It's difficult as my DM is so pushy on other things I don't know whether she's just trying to press my buttons so getting your opinions is a big help.

Thanks again.

6yo and 8yo - 7pm
13yo and 16yo - 10pm school night, 11pm weekend.

11pm sounds very late ... I go to bed at 10pm most nights as an adult! But how much sleep are your DC getting, what time do they wake?

Why is your DM so invested, does she live with you? If your DC aren't exhausted and can function well it's really nothing to do with her.

Whereas I can still hear the 2yo, 7yo, 9yo and 11yo talking loudly with their parents next door on a school night 🤷🏻

9pm on a school night sounds fine, mine started going to bed at 9pm from about Year 6 onwards.
11pm on weekends also sounds fine if they get to lay in a little - maybe a bit late if they have to get up early for something like a sport but if they are happy and not tired in the mornings then its all good.

Really it's none of her business- some people are just certain that anything done differently to them is wrong. My mil was agast that I let my daughter stay up for new years eve at age 14, and was convinced she would never be able to wake up in time for school (a week and a half later).

Never. Bloody teenagers.

I also have an 11 year old and it is often 9.30 in the week after hobbies so on a Wed when he doesn't have anything we try to send him up earlier and on a Sunday. Might be 10 on either Friday or Sat but again the other night we try for a bit earlier. Largely because he is a hugely tired pain in the bum otherwise. So if your times work for you and your kids are not too tired then just keep doing it. Every kid is different.

If the children are able to engage in school, sports, and in good form crack on.

Outside the UK children's bedtimes extend to that time and they don't combust.

Asleep any time between 6.30 and 8 depending on how tired he is! He's 4.5 and will wake up between 5.30 and 7 with no obvious correlation to when he went to bed either.

Almost 16 Yr old. 11pm in the week and whatever he wants Friday and Saturday up to midnight. It's a battle I can't be bothered to fight any more.. He gets up for school ok and is doing well. Plus he can do a straight 12 hrs at the weekend if I let him sleep in.

Ds is 14 and goes to bed by 9.15, even during holidays he still chooses to go to bed at normal time.

My DD12 goes to bed an hour later than those times at 10pm and 12 for weekends. But at age ten she was going at 9 and 11. Scouts doesn't finish until half 8, so it wasn't possible to go any earlier than that sometimes, and I thought if scouts had those set hours then it must be considered a reasonable bedtime for a child that age, or they wouldn't be able to run it so late.

Too late! My 10 year old goes up at 645, into bed at 7, iPad/reading til 815 then lights out, everyday unless we have something special on.

9yr old.
8.30pm mon -thur and sun
11pm ish fri and sat

Mine are neuro diverse and take hours to drop off. I could make them go to bed early but they'd lie there frustrated and miserable.

10 year old goes up at 8 30, 13 Yr old at 9 45. But they're awake for much longer.

5 Yr old 7.30 but he thinks never, he is actually a terrorist dictator. And even if he does stay asleep instead of screaming mummy when I move after he's been snoring for ages he gets up at anytime after 12am and wanders around trying to say it is morning. Er, no mate.
He was perfectly able to sleep through from under 1 year old so this is really really affecting me!!

10 Yr old 9pm. 12 Yr old 9.30pm but he never sleeps and always finds urgent hw or bag packing, more water, a 30 minute poo etc that must be done after bedtime.
Last night I said no, pack your bag tomorrow. So he did then the trains broke down so he had to abandon getting to school, got home 11ish but no key. Ffs.

Weekends more like 8.30 and 10pm. When we say go away! We want to watch grown up TV.

My 9 year old goes between 12 and 1 and is up at 5/6 they have melatonin but don't need sleep. Without melatonin they've gone 4 days straight with us having to sleep in shifts

I have a baby and a toddler and both are bath & bed by 7/7:30

Mine are the same age as yours. Year 6 & 7.
theyvare invariably in bed by 8.30, asleep by 9 ish, perhaps 9.30pm on Friday & Saturday.

so yes I think 11pm is mega late

My 10 year old goes up at 7:30 and gets ready for bed etc then listens to audiobook or reads until 8:40/8:45. Asleep around 9-9:30pm