Are we weird?

[Icantremembermyusername]

My DC were with their dad this weekend so DP and I headed into town and ran some non child friendly errands. We went to our favourite bookshop and each bought a couple of books. We went home and picked up the dog and had a sniffy walk through the woods to our local pub, bought a bottle of wine (x2) and sat at opposite ends of a sofa with the dog between us and read our new books while drinking wine. In my head, it was bliss! We’d done the necessary, and walked the pooch and after the crazy of Christmas we were very happy to chill out with some relaxed lighting, ambient music, a bit of buzz and no calls on our attention. Dog was quite content too. We walked home after and made tea.
My friend says we’re weird and that only sad people go to the pub and sit in silence, ignoring each other and we should have stayed at home. What do you think?

Sounds lovely. Wine makes me chatty though! Especially a bottle. So I’d have demanded DH speak to me half way through the bottle. But you both sound on the same page. So great.

What is wrong with having a favourite bookshop?

Very surprised the thimbleful of wine brigade aren’t out laying in to you for drinking a bottle each. There’s another thread where a poster drinks one glass and apparently she has an alcohol problem.

Anyway - blissful afternoon by the sounds of it.

As long as the books don't disguise the fact you have nothing to say to each other

How incredibly sad that this is the message that you've taken from the OP's post.

Not a DP one, but one of my cherished memories is an evening staying with late aunt in rural France one Christmas - fire on, aunt reading, uncle reading, me reading. No sound but the turning of pages and the dog snuffling and being surrounded by the animal and emotional warmth of my family. And it was very far from the case that we had 'nothing to say to each other.'

BTW, sounds a lovely afternoon, OP, you just need more open minded friends. Bet she'd have not called you sad if you'd both been on your phones all afternoon rather than reading.

Your friend is wrong. DH and I spend loads of time reading in pubs, especially on holiday. I do occasionally wonder if it looks odd, but I don't actually give a hoot whether it does or not.

But even if some people do think it's weird - who cares?

Whether it is weird or not depends wholly upon the definition of a 'sniffy walk'!

I’ve got a favourite bookshop (well, a favourite local one and a few fab ones I’ve found when away). Any bookshop will do, but there’s one I like better than the rest.
No more twee than having a favourite restaurant/pub/whatever, surely?

"also what is a sniffy walk?"

We all them television walks. Slow and Iunrushed so the dog can investigate anything she wants to -"changing channels" all the time!

There is another reason for being out though: simply being out. I'm an introvert (DH is too) and I totally got what OP meant about being out 'enough'. It's a really relaxing thing for me to be able to enjoy being out, low-level socialising occasionally, without having to be in the midst of some sort of hectic fray.

In fact, come to think of it OP, your friend would think we were batshit as we barely left the hotel bar and restaurant on our anniversary weekend, except when we were in the room for 'obvious' reasons. Weather was lousy and we had books, food and drink and each other to chat to, so we weren't fussed about going anywhere. My home life is hectic (carer for elderly DM, which also cuts into time with DH at home) and it felt like a real treat just to be able to relax, read and chat.

Sound lovely to me, although I'd probably have been fast asleep with the wine. Costwise no different to going out for a nice lunch. My DH doesn't read books unfortunately and not sure how long he'd sit there listening to his audio books.

Yes. Domestic abuse sad, where you are ignored and humiliated sad.

Yes. Domestic abuse sad, where you are ignored and humiliated sad

I'd take an afternoon with a DP sitting contentedly and quietly together in the pub with books, wine and the dog over being yapped at all the time by someone who continually demands attention and can't shut up.

Perhaps the kind of afternoon that OP and her DH had is a bit too grown up for your tastes.

Sounds blmmin' marvellous. I love to people-watch and my DH is someone I love to do that with. That's because I'm so comfortable with him. He's also the person to whom I can say things like, "do you think that man looks like a young Bernard Cribbens?"

😊

Only on MN could someone leap to the conclusion of domestic abuse based on the OP saying she’d really enjoyed an afternoon with her husband.

It sounds very relaxing and lovely to me, though I am a people watcher so I would probably get distracted from the book. I think I could do this very successfully on holiday or a weekend break in the country, but probably not a local pub as I would be aware of who is there and not wanting to be interrupted by someone I actually know! Somehow different from the low level sociability of the occasional chat you might have with pub owner/barmaid/ other holidaying stranger, if that makes sense.
I'm also introverted, so the idea of doing that away from home would be lovely.
I don't get the almost anger at OP, the accusations of tweeness etc. I think the idea of something simple and being happy together in silence must be so alien to some people that it kind of irritates them that other people are like this? I don't struggle to understand why someone wouldn't do this activity, though the people disagreeing seem to lack imagination that other people like other things?

Sounds good. Although personally I would prefer my own sofa and a cup of tea after the walk.

My friend says we’re weird and that only sad people go to the pub and sit in silence, ignoring each other and we should have stayed at home. What do you think?

I think your friend is jealous that you have such a great relationship.

I'm an (sociable) introvert too and this sounds like a blissful day. Life is crazy busy anyway. You need to unwind too to maintain your equilibrium.

I agree - this used to called "companionable silence".

OP your friend is rude to call you weird!