Was I a fucked up kid? Thinking of a freaky thing I used to do.

[inigomontoyahwillcox]

Something that's been bugging me for a while, which I only started thinking about seriously over the past year or so, as prior to that it was just "something that I did".

When I was a child, and I mean since I can pretty much remember, so young, I used to do this thing to myself when I would induce what I can only describe as a state of disassociation. I achieved it by repeating to myself the words "I can't believe I'm here, I can't believe I'm here" over and over again until I was taken over by the intense feeling of not being present in my surroundings - I suppose I can explain it as like the real world was a movie which I didn't feature in. In hindsight it was a very bizarre thing to do, and I did it often as a child.

I can still induce the same feeling on demand, but it scares me now, so I don't.

Has anyone else done this? Come across anyone who did or does this?

This thread has me gripped.
I vividly remember (and still can if I want do.. who would want to??!) staring into the mirror, into my eyes until I felt myself inside my body.
I feel like we weren't meant to have mirrors, we weren't meant to be able to see ourselves head on like that. It's such a weird feeling.

Are you me @sleeplessinmumsville?!

I'm really surprised how many of us did the same or similar things as children. I thought I must have been a really odd kid, but it seems I had lots of company!

It seems like a pretty normal childhood thing.
I'm not aware of doing anything like that but in primary I would go in to school the next day and become aware that I had huge gaps in my memory of school the day before. I was bright and kept up with lessons but any floor time particularly I'd have no recollection of.

Anyone can think themselves into weird mental states, out minds are very creative and we can think ourselves into some odd places. It's normal generally speaking, but also can be maladaptive in excess and can be as a result of anxiety or trauma. But if it is not causing a problem it's pretty normal.