Autistic women assemble! #3

[Nepmarthiturn]

This is a thread for autistic women to connect, chat, vent, laugh, share and seek advice and solidarity (small talk and word mincing not required). 😊

Any autistic women newly finding the thread are very welcome to join us (even if awaiting diagnosis) but we'd be grateful if others could leave us alone please…

Previous threads:

1

http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4777843-autistic-women-assemble

#2
http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4865805-autistic-women-assemble-2

I am not going to look.

There has been a plethora of threads recently, which present as various things, but which descend into autism-bashing very rapidly.

I hide them. I do not understand why MNHQ allows them.

No, don't look Shell.

Nope, not deleted Jewellery.

It's just turned into a collective 'we are sick of affirming this cult like nonsense' attack, now.

I guess in a way, it's best to know exactly how the majority of people feel. At least I feel like I know what I'm dealing with.

School meeting earlier in the week just confirms this. I wanted two adjustments / accommodations for DD (homework easements and allowed her bag in class). I just kept being told "all the kids have to do this, why should she get out of it?"

I'm sending them an email now reminding them of her diagnosis and quoting SEND code of practice and her right to reasonable adjustments.

I know schools are beaten down and underfunded, but I am sick of feeling like myself and my DD are a fucking burden and a chore.

Anyone else here very much on the threshold in every online test they do? If the threadhold for passing is 65, I will be 65 for example, almost every time!!

I think I am on the spectrum but very slightly. It would explain a lot. But I think it also intersects with how I was socialised to be sweet, a people pleaser, and have a low sense of self worth which makes me find it hard to socialise sometimes.

Anyone else in a similar boat? How do you cope with this situation?

Hi @coastalhawk have you been diagnosed with autism?

If you have, that's the answer, really. Everyone gets different scores on the tests, because autism is a spectrum.

@coastalhawk I'm not sure about completing 'online tests', nor how accurate they may be. The only one that's used as an initial pre diagnostic screening is the AQ50 (there's an AQ10, which is shorter, but the AQ50 will give a more true picture as it's more detailed)

How are we with ASD?

I thought it was being phased out as autism is a condition rather than a disorder but it seems ASD is still in use?

And yes I started reading that other thread and was actually shocked and have had to leave it rather than engage.

Maybe it depends on what you were diagnosed with whether you use ASD/ASC?

I tend to say autism/autistic rather than ASD or ASC.

Or just ND.

Also it’s what you're comfortable using too

I tend to just use autism and thought ASD was outdated but just googled now and it's on the NHS site as "the medical name".

I tried to change asd to asc on my child's EHCP and the tribunal said whilst they understood why, they could only use what's on the official diagnostic paperwork which is asd.

I know schools are beaten down and underfunded, but I am sick of feeling like myself and my DD are a fucking burden and a chore.

I'm so sorry that it's such a struggle, RZW.
I feel for you and your DD..

Thanks @TheShellBeach that means a lot right now.

@ThreeBeanChilli wrt ASC/ASD I'm like Shell. I tend to use Autism / ND. However, I was given a choice by my Psychiatrist and chose ASC. I was also under the impression that that was the way the terminology was heading. DD who was diagnosed 6 months after me was given an ASD diagnosis though.

I guess it's a bit like Selective Mutism (which DD has an official diagnosis of) There's a big push to change it to Situational Mutism as it sounds less like the person is 'just choosing' to he non verbal. It's a move away from the negative connotations.

Oh and that latest thread is possibly the worst I've seen.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again; it's always on a weekend.

Yes you can www.gov.uk/access-to-work/eligibility

I guess I’m lucky that I haven’t seen the thread or I don’t think I have

That thread made me feel so sad that so many parents see their children this way 😔. It was better for my health to come away than interact so I only read a few pages.

Yes, this was my thought, too. The 'misunderstanding' of Autism by non Autistic people is one thing, but the posts from parents of Autistic kids are just horrendous.

I don't even know where to start about how fucked up it all is. We really haven't come very far from institutions and conversion therapy, it seems.

Jeez. This is why I just don't look now.
I've given up, trying to get MNHQ to stop allowing threads like that on here.

There was one yesterday I got drawn into about why one persons 'aspergers friend' would do xyz because she wants to understand 'them' as in autistic people i assume. I unfollowed after a few posts. Ignorance again.

It's nearly all ignorance!
Although some of it is deliberate cuntishness.

I do not believe that these aggressive posters on Mumsnet represent the majority. I actually think they’ve found one or two people here who agree with them and it’s given them the confidence to shout loudly.

Please can I join the thread?

I am 33 and only realised I could be autistic after researching for my daughter.

I have my assessment next week! I went through Right to Choose and it's been surprisingly speedy. I first approached my GP for referral at the end of Feb, then my chosen provider contacted me with an appointment date last week, for mid-June, but then called me today as they had a cancellation next week.

I am terrified! I really don't know what to expect at all so any advice for the assessment would be great. I am utterly convinced they will tell me I'm not autistic even though I am sure I am. I think it's just doubts as I am great at appearing NT through learned behaviour.

A diagnosis isn't going to change anything in my life at this point but might answer a lot of questions for me, and would also aid my daughter's assessment which should happen later on in the year, which was my main reason for doing it.

Hello @AlpacaWooly and welcome to the thread!

Most of us wondered if the assessment would lead to a diagnosis. I think we're pretty good at assessing ourselves, and I haven't heard of anyone who wasn't ultimately diagnosed.

Thank you @TheShellBeach, it's a funny one. I saw a TikTok recently where someone was saying people who aren't autistic don't spend hours and hours researching about the fact they might be autistic. So maybe I need to remember that