Friend made me visit fortune tellers and now I feel worse

[Lilllypad11]

My friend is really into this stuff. Apparently the lady she visits knew her uncles name and she isn’t on social media so there’s no way she could find it. Above that she’s apparently predicted events that took place without her telling her a word. She knew she had a divorce and she never said a word. Knew her break up would happen before it did etc etc

so she insisted I go. Anyway. I got in and she reeled off “you and your partner split. He’s a cheat and a liar and it’s time you look forward and never go back. Don’t bother reaching out either.”

so I sort of just, looked at her blankly and then at my friend who dragged me here. I did just listen to the rest of the spiel that she gave. That apparently my mum loves rings. And that I should have gone to France last summer. And that I’m apparently changing career (from the one I have no desire to change right now)

By the end my head was spinning. And I was a little frustrated with my friend. Mainly because, yes okay I’ve started dating again (aside from the crap offers I’ve had) and after a few months of the split I’m trying to get out there and move on. But when someone’s already slightly vulnerable. Hearing these things can be damaging and frustrating.

I ended up crying to my friend over brunch in the end and she consoled me and was hugely apologetic for taking me. But I just honestly don’t know what to think when my head clearly isn’t in the right place. Or even what to believe. I always thought of it as codswallop.

It's rubbish. I used to work with one, who I think really thought she was genuine. She did tell me most psychics/fortune tellers are just very good at reading people & applying vague generalisations. There's also a lot of self fulfilling prophecy as well. People do things because they've been told they will.

She wrote a whole spiel for my & DH's future (I didn't pay). Including DH would own his own successful business & drive a nice car, we'd have three DC, my MIL would come into money.... and a whole lot more.

15 years later, not a single thing has come true. Luckily I didn't take it seriously or there's be a lot of disappointment about the lack of success.

What sort of woman is likely to visit a fortune teller? Happily married woman? No, more likely had a woman whose relationship or marriage has broken up. Breakups and divorces often involve cheating so she might think that is a safe bet. She is probably quite observant and looks for things like tan lines where rings have been removed or swapped hands etc. It's called cold reading. My mother was told she was going to take a sea voyage - yes, because she too was dragged off to see a fortune teller. Now my mother was Irish and this was in Scotland so a sea voyage might well have been on the cards. Don't take any notice of this silly woman or your daft friend.

There are no genuine mediums.

well it’s true. So was my trip to Sri Lanka that she mentioned. There was no give away for that. She just said. “All I see is you both are just moving on” I said. Well after 6 years together one day I’d hope I can reach out to humans ask him how is even though we ended on bad terms on his part. I would like to clear there air. “Yeah you can. But don’t bother. Don’t expect him to anyway. He doesn’t give a damn. I don’t like this guy. I don’t trust him anyway. Wouldn’t trust him as far as I can throw him” she mentioned something about his social media which was true. But that was like the one thing out of it all that made sense.

It’s such a battle. Because this was the man I felt I was going to marry and have children with. As silly as it sounds, I just never thought it was going to be with anyone else. But then when you hear things like “there was a third party involved and clear competition with this person. You’ve split up and I sense you questioned his loyalty a few times and you know it too” or whatever it was she said

plus people mention body language. You go into the room and she has this curtain set up so you only see her after the reading. It’s codswallop yes. But how the hell can they know. I’m on no socials.

Cross my palm with 40 quid?!

I found this on Wikipedia about how 'cold' readings work:

"Cold readings commonly employ high-probability guesses, quickly picking up on signals as to whether their guesses are in the right direction or not, then emphasizing and reinforcing chance connections and quickly moving on from missed guesses."

I saw something once on tv, from one of those 'psychics' who can guess what animal picture people draw & fold up, every single time. It's mind boggling, but it's just a lot of training in how to read people.

I saw a psychic once. She told me that I was redecorating the house and what colour, which was correct. I didn't have any paint on me or anything...I still don't understand it as it was oddly specific 😂

The mists are parting. The truth is being revealed…

…you have lost money recently. I see £40 has left your bank account.

Is that specific enough for you? Because it’s the only thing this ‘psychic’ could know.

How did she know these things?
A combination of her saying what you remember as specific but will actually have been worded very generally and given meaning by you
And your friend saying something like oooh my friend should come see you, she's recently... And giving this 'fortune teller' enough to work with.

People should secretly record their sessions with these con artists because playing it back they'd be able to see exactly how it's done.

Yeah. You couldn't see her but you have no way of knowing if she could see you.
She probably had a camera on you and was watching your reactions , you'd be less guarded because you think the curtain means she can't see you and so your body language gives more away.

I went with a friend once many years ago and regretted it too as the precision of it scared me. I felt exactly the same as you, OP, and found it unsettling. I'd never go again.
Whilst I agree with people saying that clairvoyants are extremely good at reading people and use a lot of guesswork, this was just too randomly specific.
She didn't guess, she just sat in silence for about five minutes then off she went, reeling off a whole lot of stuff that I really struggle to know how she could guess. Quite a lot of it was actually about other people, not me, but examples are too personal to share here. It wasn't framed as questions, she just spoke.
In terms of specific detail, statements like 'Now, about the letter you had on Tuesday from your friend in Spain. I know you're worried about the job she's taken but the film industry there is secure and animation is her strength and the future direction her place will take, so I think she's done the right thing'. That specific.

Bloody hell. I was thinking about going to a fortune teller recently. But I don't think I will now!

Although I don't truly believe people can tell us our future and certainly this woman can't tell you your own. Perhaps what she said resonates with some of your own fears or concerns about your relationship?

Did you book in ahead of the appointment… ‘fortune tellers’ do have access to google and Facebook!

I do believe in aspects of this stuff, however, a red flag is the ‘shoulda’ comments. No one ‘should have gone to France’, that’s just bananas. There’s a lot of money in scaring people into thinking they’ll make mistakes if they don’t continue to ‘find out what they need to do, in case they miss a chance again’. However, there’s no truth in it. I would definitely write it off and think, “What a weirdo that fortune teller was!”

Most people who go would be bereaved, at a crossroads, or unhappy after a break up. They would start from one of these assumptions, then look for physical signs - a tan mark where a ring was, for instance. Then throw out a few guesses until they hit something that resonates. Then generic future stuff that at some point will no doubt play out - a trip, a change of job, moving on from an ex. You said there was a curtain but you also said you looked at her blankly, so there must have been some face to face interaction. Don’t misremember or nudge things to make sense; it’s not helpful to you.

Your friend’s uncle’s name - but random isn’t it? “Do you know a David? Or John?” I’m going to bet his name wasn’t Engelbert.

Most of our mums like a bit of jewellery. I wouldn’t say mine loves rings, but I could make that fit if I wanted it to because she has still always has her engagement ring on.

Did you ever see the Royle Family? Cheryl has a reading (from Astrid in the precinct!) that she’ll meet someone in two days, two months, or two years. Comedic value is the best way to take these readings.

I’m not a disbeliever of the unexplained or the paranormal, but readings for cash with pretty generic details annoy me because they can be harmful.

They are all either con-artists or deluded. I would forget it.

She makes general comments that would apply to anyone and quickly modifies them from your response. No one can really read your mind or see into the future, only make reasonable guesses from your responses. She doesn't know your ex, she was seeing what would land with you. As for your mum liking rings - don't most women?

Mind you my very rational mum was once impressed with a gypsy fortune teller who accosted her near work and told her she had 3 children (true) and that her son would travel far. My brother did grow up to love travel, but we all do to some extent and 'travel' is something the vast majority of people do.

I also have my suspicions that she might have seen my mother before with us, as she occasionally took us to work. Also 3 was a common number of children to have then so a reasonable guess - now they'd probably say two.

Dont let it get to you OP.

In the 1970s a doorstep gypsy selling Heather and clothes pegs told my mum that one of her daughters she would worry about and the other would be fine. Mum never worked out which of us was which!

When I was pregnant with my first I had a woman and a child come to my door selling heather and shit.

She told me my baby was a girl. I told her the scan said boy.
She said the scan was wrong (it wasn't).

I don't blame her. She took a punt. It was 50/50 and if she'd guessed right she might have thought I'd invite her in for a reading or some such shit

"Woman likes rings" isn't exactly a risky guess in an industry which targets the credulous and the vulnerable. Getting a holiday destination right is a good guess but she had plenty wrong didn't she? And telling a newly single woman that her ex was a cheat and a liar isn't high risk either. A charlatan who goes further and tells people what to do is even worse - they are actually harmful rather than just time wasters.

Your original thoughts that its all codswallop were spot on. Read up on cold reading and how it works. Some magicians demonstrate how this works to audiences - its astonishingly convincing with a skilled perpetrator.

My mum had similar from a lace seller. Told her she'd never need to go into hospital.
Dm didn't have the heart to tell her she was booked in for a hernia operation (with a week's stay afterwards) later that week.

And even if she got it wrong there was a chance you might invite her in "just in case". By the time the baby was born and she was proven a charlatan she would be well gone.

My mother was once told I would grow up to be a hairdresser - fortunately my mother just laughed as I was out with my dad working on an engine at the time. It was probably the least likely thing she could have guessed for me but in that area, at that time a skilled trade popular with aspirational girls was probably a good statistical guess.

It's all a total load of shit. I used to go to quite a few when I was younger, desperate to know if I was going tobe happy in the futre etc, and every single time, every single time, it was all made up crap and none of it was true. One woman even got stoppy with me when she was saying "your aunt went with you to get your first pair of shoes, they were red blah blah blah" and I was like "I don't have an Aunt", she replied "well your mother's cousin then", "my mum doesn't have a cousin. And my first shoes weren't red?". She got huffy at me. Another said how I'd broken my arm when I was 5 (I've never broken anything), that my grandfather told me to hoe the garden as he had been an avid gardner (no he hadn't, and I didn't have a garden) etc etc etc. When I left reviews for these people saying "nice lady, nothing was correct though", they made sure to delete the review. I gave up trying years ago.

Honestly op...it's an absolute load of shit. My aunt took me to one after my dad died....she told me loads of stuff about my dad who my aunt had told her had died. Funnily enough she didn't know my mum was also dead...quelle suprise no messages from my mum or even a mention. She also told me a load of generic stuff that older men are into.. like your dad likes gardening and a pint. Honestly it was stuff that can be applied to lots of people. Ooooo, I see a man in your life called Dave. Really common names where most people know someone with that name. Such a load of shit.