Where do guests sleep if you have no spare room?

[SparePartz]

Asking people who only have enough rooms for your family members, not those with extra rooms and guest rooms!

We are considering inviting an older family member, who has recently lost her husband, to stay. I don't think they'd want to come if it meant staying alone in a hotel in the closest town a bus ride away. DS(14) has his own room, as does DD(12), DH and I in the third bedroom. Not sure I can ask DS&DD to share whilst she would be here. Sofa is not a sofa bed type, and could only sleep one anyway. Living area is one room and effectively the corridor between all bedrooms and the bathroom. The only thing I can think of is relative in DD's room, with DD on a mattress on the floor. Seems a bit rude though to not give guest their own space.

How do you house guests if you've not much space?

I have never understood this mentality. Why are you inviting people to stay over when you have no room?

What good is it going to do your older relative to stay at yours for a few nights? They are going to have to return home to an empty house eventually.

I’d probably share with DD and get DS and DH to share or get a mattress on the floor of our room for DD. This is under the circumstances you’ve described of an elderly relative and short period. Obviously any extension would be untenable. I wouldn’t get elderly relative to share mainly for the sake of the kids. I loved my grandma but when she lived with us for a short period she drove me round the bend.

I don't think you have enough room for everyone to be comfortable given the circumstances of the visit.

Air BnB close by or unfortunately it's not going to be possible.

When they split into separate rooms, the deal was that if the room was needed, they’d move back in together. It’s really no big deal, they share on holiday far more than they share at our house, and they like the visitors. Plus it’s about the only time the room gets thoroughly tidied (for guests)! It’s usually only 1-3 times a year. And they get the extra run of our bedroom for extra chilling out space if needed too.

We thought about asking DD to give up his room but that wasn’t really practical. It’s very small and he does his homework there.

My DH and I put a fold up bed in the front room and we sleep on that. It’s not ideal as it’s a kitchen/living room but means elderly parent can go to bed at 9pm and we are the last ones up.

storing the fold up bed and proper mattress is a pain! It’s an inexpensive Tempur style one and it lives against a wall. Not ideal but needs must. The fold up bed frame is used to dry clothes. I’ve tried blowup beds but couldn’t do it for more than a day or two.

In their own homes.

Why can't DD and DSD share for a few nights then you could give guest a bedroom.

How entitled. I'd assume relative wasn't likely to steal teen stuff so what relevance does that have. I'd have said it was far more important to show compassion and support for an elderly bereaved relative than to be able to keep an eye on their stuff or have some privacy (you also understand many kids share with siblings right?)

I don't understand your mentality.

'Sorry great-aunt Joan but you're going to have to do things by yourself eventually so we don't see the point in offering you any support now.'

We don't have space on our bedroom floor. We did this once when Dd was small and didn't need the half of the mattress we had to tuck under the bed! wouldn't work now.
I'm just musing possibilities, I've not invited yet. It would be the first time she's visited alone and is unlikely to want to drive so far, meaning getting back to a hotel/B&B would be tricky as I doubt she'd want to go alone on the bus into town at night.

From sleeping patterns, it would make more sense for Ds to be on a mattress in the living area as he tends to stay up later than DD. However, DH uses DS's room when he's wfh so whilst it's unlikely he would actually wfh whilst she's here, we need to consider it.

@LauraNorda yes, it's true that she would have to return to an empty house but we were thinking more that she's not alone for occasions like Easter etc and so she has an easy place to go to for her first holiday alone. She doesn't have children, I'm her closest (youngish) relative.

We put DS on an airbed in our bedroom and give guests his room if they need to stay. However it's only a few nights maximum and he's younger than your DC.

I would suggest your DC could share a room but you only have your guest stay a few nights, I think any longer would be unfair. I can see some people have suggested it's unfair to kick your DC out of their rooms at all but I grew up in a small house where we'd often shuffle beds for guests so it's a bit more normal to me.

You say the hotel is a bus ride away but are there no BnBs or Airbnbs closer to you?

As an older person I would only stay with someone if they had a guest room. I don't want your bed, whilst you crash on the living room floor, and I definitely don't want to share a room with your 12 year old sleeping on the floor - not even for a night, frankly.

I need my own space. I think if she has been recently bereaved it is just too much (for her) to be spending 24 hours a day with you without the ability to retire for some privacy. She'd be much better in an Air BnB or somewhere where there was only her at night.

I just don't have people stay over. It is what it is. I can't afford a bigger place.

You give her your room and get a z bed in the living room or decent inflatable? Not ideal for 2 weeks though?

We just don't have overnight guests.

I’d put the two kids in together.

It would be air bed in the lounge for us - we don’t really have people come to stay though. But our lounge is quite private just the one door in and out and quite separate from the living space in the kitchen/diner.

I would share a bed with DD and put DH on the sofa!

Kids share or you sleep on an air bed in the lounge.

can you look on air b and b and see if there is anything available in your neighbourhood. I did this recently when visiting someone with no extra space and was able to walk to their place.

we used to have a sofa bed in the living room. but after replacing it with one without guests sleep on camping beds with a block matresses in the living room. feels more like a bed and is less squeaky.

We have a sofa bed in the lounge for overnighters. In your situation I would make the kids share so she has a room of her own. Could you relocate the wfh stuff out of the DS bedroom into yours for the time she stays with you?

I think if she has been recently bereaved it is just too much (for her) to be spending 24 hours a day with you without the ability to retire for some privacy

Agree. If she's recently bereaved I'd imagine the last thing she'll want is to be presenting a stoical face all the time because she's got nowhere to retreat to if she wants to cry or just have some time to herself.

When we had dd's grandma to stay, she had dd's bed and dd slept on the floor on an inflatable mattress thing.

In a hotel, where they belong.

But if it's DC, I give them my bed. If necessary, I'd get a camp bed out in the living room. Long term I'd get a really good sofa bed.

But only for DC.