What absolutely ridiculous and inconsequential things have put you off a partner?

[InstrumentsofTorture]

I don't mean completely acceptable reasons like poor hygiene, lying, flakiness etc. I mean things that the poor other person could not possibly have anticipated would mean the end of their relationship.

For me it was many years ago when I finally finally got together with a lad I'd had a crush on for about 3 years. About 2 months after we started seeing each other he invited me to his house. Which is where he committed the unforgivable sin of picking up a broom and sweeping the kitchen floor.

That was it. 3 years of obsessing over him and, just like that, a bloody sweeping brush came between us.

😂

@FictionalCharacter Surely 'hanging the washing up to dry' is a normal phrase?! In the same way you hang clothes up, you hang washing (aka laundry) up on a washing line so it can dry?

He bought me perfume for my birthday - yay!
The same perfume as his mum - definitely not yay.

I’d been secretly lusting over a guy that worked in the newsagents next to where I worked for a year or so….very flirty etc for a few months till he asked me out.
He picked me up to go to the cinema and went to Maccy’s drive thru on the way.

He ordered a ‘filet o fish’

Grim.

Met a lovely man on a skiing holiday. He was a snowboarder and looked very cool on the slopes in his gear.

Met up with him in London and he turned up wearing Chicken Run socks which said 'because I'm cute' around the ankle.

Two, both restaurant based: one who held his fork upright in his fist between mouthfuls, like the devil holds a pitchfork. Another who ordered exactly what it said on the menu, so including all florid descriptions eg " I'll have the line-caught cod with locally sourced baby new potatoes lightly tossed in farm-churned organic butter please". A normal man would say " I'll have the cod" surely!

Wearing one of those cord necklaces with a hippy trinket on the end that teenagers used to wear in the 90s. Nooope.

He used a handkerchief.

I blocked him as soon as I arrived home.

Whaaat?! My DH uses a handkerchief. Has a clean, folded one in his pocket everyday. Never uses it to blow his nose but it's always there, just in case. I love it.

The second one kills me inside. No idea why but I'd also have run a mile first that. So specifically awful 😁

I wonder if I went on a date with him before you married!

For some reason I hear this in the voice of Giles off Gogglebox. No offence intended

One spent all day on a group day trip flirting with someone else in front of me, then when she was gone seemed to remember I exist.

One said he liked me because I was inexperienced (I was young, but not too younger to know that was disgusting!)

One clicked my face. No. Yuck.

@tomatoontoast Ive never met anyone else under the age of 75 who still carries a handkerchief so it's a very real possibility 🤣

I binned one because he smelled of nothing. No soap, no toothpaste, no body odour, no fags or beer or dust - nothing at all. It was like trying to communicate with a ghost.

It was worse than the one I binned for ordering decaf coffee. No, it isn't just the same only without the caffeine. Or the one I never even considered saying yes to a date with because he vaguely waved a teabag at a cup of watery milk from the opposite end of the staff kitchen before adding 4 heaped spoons of sugar.

My DH has one in his suit pocket. Doesn’t use it. Goes in the wash basket and 🤫 shhh if it looks utterly pristine, I put it back in the drawer 😏

This made me 😂😂😂

Signet ring on his fat little finger

One man I dated briefly had a perfectly round bald spot on the top of his head. About the circumference of a regular shop bought mince pie.

And it was pink. Really pink. Like baby pink. Or maybe bubblegum.

And it was surrounded by longish hair.

I just couldn't reconcile myself to the pink bald spot.

Lawyers in smart suits, barristers 😉

Borrowed someone else’s jumper for Christmas jumper day. It was a size 8.

These are 3 different men:

• generally misused and abused apostrophes when he texted me. BIN.
• took ages and ages to come. Like 15 mins of active thrusting. BIN.
• was vain and shaved his chest and flexed at himself in the mirror. BIN.

Some of these are so funny!
I was dating a man who used to say he was "going for a wee wee" when he went to the toilet.

Arranged a date, he said he’d book a restaurant. Asked me what food I liked, I said (truthfully) that I wasn’t fussy at all but Italian was my favourite. He took me to Frankie and Benny’s. There was no second date.

1998 blind date, it was pouring with rain. Met outside Tyneside cinema and he said we were going to watch indoor bowling- the type old people do. He was wearing an old man anorak and polyester trousers. I lasted an hour before saying I had to get home as my great-aunt was ill. 😁