What absolutely ridiculous and inconsequential things have put you off a partner?

[InstrumentsofTorture]

I don't mean completely acceptable reasons like poor hygiene, lying, flakiness etc. I mean things that the poor other person could not possibly have anticipated would mean the end of their relationship.

For me it was many years ago when I finally finally got together with a lad I'd had a crush on for about 3 years. About 2 months after we started seeing each other he invited me to his house. Which is where he committed the unforgivable sin of picking up a broom and sweeping the kitchen floor.

That was it. 3 years of obsessing over him and, just like that, a bloody sweeping brush came between us.

He wore crocs outside in public as a grown man of nearly 40. I realise some might have no issue here!

He wore a pair of women's sneakers.

Shoes - we went for a walk round a country park and he came wearing his work
leather shoes with jeans 🤢

I'm fearing now for the romantic future of my boys! But at the same time, I totally get most of these!

These are hilarious! Loving this thread!

Teenage years, my first serious boyfriend. Stayed over at his house and I ended up being the big spoon. He was tall, slender, rock hard six pack... It was like cuddling into an ironing board. After the third night of him wanting to be the one to be cuddled in, I decided I just couldn't live a life like that.

Teenage years again, met up with a friend at the end of my road, who I'd been text flirting with. He was tall, broad, bit more cuddliness to him. He leaned over for a snog and his tongue was freezing cold!! Never retreated so quick in my life, was like touching tongues with a corpse. How is it even possible to have a cold tongue without having an ice pop or something immediately beforehand? Weird.

Online dating a few years ago. Told me he was the same height as me. He looked broad and strong in the pictures, even had videocalls etc so knew what to expect. Went to meet him and as I got off the train, someone grabbed my arm and pulled me in for a hug. I'd walked right past him. This guy was atleast four inch shorter than me (5'8) and built more slight than my 10year old son... I felt like Mrs Hagrid sitting across the table from Harry Potter.

He said "see you later, alligator" and "eyes nose" instead of I know 🤢

When I was a teen this lad thought it would be funny to put a malteaser up his bum! The same lad also used to put pennies into his foreskin as a child (according to his sister) bizarre

The thing where they stab the food and eat it whole off the fork - my son does this 😭 He's 16. We've been bleating on about it for years. He's been sent away from the table, he's been given constant reminders, yes he can do it, he just won't 😅

I just know someone will get the kick one day, seeing him knawing at a sirloin steak that's hanging limply from his fork, dripping blood on his lap.

And he's so handsome and tall.

The worst thing of all is people probably see it and tutt and say "I blame the parents" but I swear we've tried everything and there really is no hope for him...

A Dick Turpin wannabe?

My DH bought himself a Fez in Cairo last year. We’ve been married 23 years so I am going to have to overlook it and add it to the long list of random wardrobe items he’s built up over the years.

When I was about twenty-five I fell hard for a colleague. After about two years of admiring him from afar I finally went on a date with him. It went brilliantly and he invited me back to his house. When we went into his living room he showed me his extensive collection of Royal Doulton figurines (women in crinoline dresses) which had been started by his mother and continued by him. Switched off 2 years of longing in a moment.

I realised he looked like my dad.

Physical resemblance I mean. Not age wise.

Omg, this thread has made me remember the boyfriend who called his dick The Master🤮. I'd completely forgotten that (for a very good reason)until now.

The Royal Doulton figurines made me laugh! Did he know their names or didn't you stay long enough to find out?

Picked me up to take me to blockbuster to choose a film. Got out of the car, wearing jersey grey. shorts and brown office pointy work shoes- without socks may I add. I didn’t work out

@maybejustonemoretime I don't know what it was about it, it was just.... Uggh. Like he just assumed he'd be getting access to my naked body, and the first thing he considered in this scenario was to check that it wouldn't have his mum's smell?! After some pretty hot conversation and me having a crush on him for years, it was like a bucket of cold water haha.

I didn't even wear coconut scented stuff, so the fact that he automatically made that connection (and was still living with his mum)... No thanks. I wasn't even a mum at all at the time, much less a coconut scented one 😅

He asked us to go back to bed to "canoodle" 🤮😭🤣

One guy I dated laughed too hard at his own jokes/stories.

Another one when he would see me drive up he would run towards me like an awkward T Rex with a goofy smile on his face.

One of my first boyfriends years back... he unravelled the condom, and tried to put it on his floppy manhood, as if you were putting on a sock.
I laughed out loud in his face and then left. 🤢😂

A guy I was seeing told me he wasn't and wouldn't ever be in love with me because I walked 'wrong'. And I couldn't bowl. He was happy to continue sex, but it wouldn't go anywhere. I was quite non-plussed tbh! I think my gait is pretty normal...

He put his knife in his mouth we were in a very nice restaurant at the time

a guy I really liked baby talked, I couldn’t see him as a man any longer

1 Kept wanting to have “nookie”

2 Announced he was “plating up” in 5 minutes every time he cooked a meal like he was Gordon Ramsay. Even if beans on toast.

He was shorter than me when I was wearing small healed boots and I'm a hobbit as it is (really bad I know!). He was very boring though so not just a height thing

Farted as we walked along on a date (now I don't mind farting, but not when you're still in the dating stage!) I think he made it worse by saying pardon, as it drew attention to it!! I think it just "slipped out" but still.

Not in 2010, I didn't. Same way the decaf coffee bloke couldn't use that as an excuse for completely absent tastebuds.

I put a lot of stock into the ability to make (and willingness to) a decent cup of tea or coffee. I've also discounted men who have unilaterally declared a hatred for all 'foreign food, that pasta stuff, never tried rice but is certain they wouldn't like it, said they'd never allow fish in their house, not not to vegetarianism, but because they don't like it, complained about meat having bones and no breadcrumb coating and run a mile from somebody who screwed up his face at the thought of vegetables and made gagging noises at the idea of olives, having never actually tried one, saying 'Oh, no, stick to what you know, that's what I always say'.

@InstrumentsofTorture it was no laughing matter! You’d have thought I had been ushered in to view the Koh-e-Noor diamond. He was all precious about them, “that’s Elizabeth and that’s Polly (or whatever)”, and I recall he was clearly worried that I’d break one and at one point he barked “careful, don’t touch!” in a panic when I went too close. Fucking horrible things, but it was his preciousness that switched me off more than his poor taste! After that it was all I noticed about him.

I keep sniggering at this 😂😂

Purple nylon Y fronts with his very small weaner poking out
Ickety ick 🤢