What absolutely ridiculous and inconsequential things have put you off a partner?

[InstrumentsofTorture]

I don't mean completely acceptable reasons like poor hygiene, lying, flakiness etc. I mean things that the poor other person could not possibly have anticipated would mean the end of their relationship.

For me it was many years ago when I finally finally got together with a lad I'd had a crush on for about 3 years. About 2 months after we started seeing each other he invited me to his house. Which is where he committed the unforgivable sin of picking up a broom and sweeping the kitchen floor.

That was it. 3 years of obsessing over him and, just like that, a bloody sweeping brush came between us.

😂 next !

100 years ago when I was young...
He turned up at the pub with a Jurassic Park t shirt on 😂
My friend dumped her boyfriend the same night for coming to the same pub wearing brogues

Re waistcoat man - my first boyfriend used to wear a waistcoat AND SHORTS. AT THE SAME TIME.

Boasted that he never gets embarrassed… asked me if I get embarrassed easily, to which I replied that I didn’t.. he said, “how about if I do this?”, And proceeded to cartwheel across the busy riverfront we were sat at. He also didn’t drink, but said he’d buy me a beer in the bar opposite and sit with me whilst I drank it.

Said they'd never heard the word "corroborate" before and asked what it meant

It was Moss, wasn't it 😂

Favourite MN post ever! 😂😂

A hundred years ago, our eyes met in the hottest night club in town. We couldn't keep our hands off each other, and arranged to meet near the student union the following day.
In the daylight, his body and legs had somehow swapped proportions overnight, and become completely wrong. And he walked like a cowboy who'd spent far too long on a horse. This might have been more than an aesthetic red flag. I didn't stick around to find out.

Micro sniffing ALL the bloody time, followed by loud snorting at least once an hour. Oh, and spitting (another alpaca). Still feel sick when I think about him.

I don’t think any of the women contributing to this thread are miserable. We’re too busy pissing ourselves laughing.

He moaned about how his housemates had left their shoes slightly askew by the front door instead of perfectly lined up and then proceeded to reposition all of their shoes. First and only time visiting him. I couldn’t live with someone that anal.

I’m never really sure who those rooms are for other than one night visits of horny couples who have done their actual ablutions before arriving. It looks quite good in the brochure but the practicalities are awful. I mean if you wanted to stage a sexy tousled hair-up, lounging in strategically placed bubbles scene you really need an extra private shower where you can shave your armpits and rinse the bubbles off do you don’t get thrush. We’ve had them with dcs before which is just weird, and one time when DH and I were alone I was actually trying to wash my hair ( not stage a seduction) and lost grip on the hand-held shower head which flailed around like a snake possessed and soaked the bedding and his suit on a hanger. DH found it less than seductive.

EYES NOSE!!! 😂

Poor man, he deserves better! Reading some of these just shows how controlling some women are!

Oh God I am crying at this! 😂😂

He said Aye Carumba at the start of every sentence.
"Aye Carumba, let's get a cab"
" Aye Carumba, I need to buy some milk"

I’m dying 😂😂😂
I love ‘like the devil holds a pitchfork’
Also agree with a PP - any man that says ‘chuckle’ (really hate that word!)
Trying to think of some of mine…
One I dated for 6 weeks (was on a rebound to make his ex jealous- he binned me off once it worked and she wanted him back - absolute ⚓️) regaled me with a story (he was a delivery driver) about how I needed a shite whilst on the road. Did it in a field or something and used a map to wipe his arse (why would you even share that?)
Another wore a leather jacket that squeaked every time he moved and a lumberjack type shirt.
Didn’t get as far as a date with one. The photo of him in his garden standing on discoloured weed strewn paving stones with the most hideous pair of brown and orange curtains in the background did not exactly give one the fanny gallops.

Sorry ‘how HE’ needed a shite!

Was he Frank Spencer?

I have kissed the same man!!!!!!

Love this thread. Haven't laughed so much for ages

I thought of another one, after sex asked me if I'd enjoyed that. Turned me right off. He also was a very slow and careful driver. I wasn't looking for a boy racer, but didn't want someone who threaded the steering wheel and used the gears sequentially.

PS- for the fun sponges, lighten up

I have 2.

One he laughed like Jimmy Carr - On an inhale. It really grated on me.

The other one was too uhm... "big" let's just say.
(Funnily enough, that one went onto badmouth me. I reckon if he knew the reason why it couldn't have worked maybe he wouldn't have been so nasty lol)

You guys seem like the people who might know, and I am a professional fun sponge, so I’m asking here - why is it a turn off to say thank you after or ask if sex was good? Particularly the thank you one.

Still reading through…thank fuck I’m single & have no intention of changing that!!

Don’t be too hard on yourself. It’s often the most perfect marriages that hide the weirdest stuff.

If he wears a tricorn hat to the pub, what does he wear in bed?!