Insensitive comments by elderly

[cocktailanddreams]

So we've spend Christmas with our loved ones of the elder generation....
what have they said to offend and upset you all?

My 85 year old DM has insulted several peoples appearances, the lunch I prepared gave her heartburn and dismissed the DC teens interests/presents as being unnecessary.

My eyes can stop rolling now its over....

@cocktailanddreams you seem to be getting bashed on here which is unfortunate. Sometimes ‘light-hearted ‘ threads do get a reaction.

Your experience is yours and if course you can feel like that and express it on an anonymous forum if you wish!

I have had similar experiences with elderly relatives but I also think that my ‘reluctance to toe the line ‘ on what they think I should do also contributes. A bit like @Novemberish says above - what I should look like , where I work , how many hours I work, why I don’t iron my DG shirts, why we have takeaways in the week… in every regard around what I should do for my DH and DC all is not ‘what they think is right’ ( ie not in my day) and it’s exhausting
In my younger days I’d just roll my eyes but now I’m a bit more forthright especially as I don’t want my DC thinking that what I and their DDad does is some how ‘wrong’ ( comments also about how I have brought them up etc) That in turn causes ‘debate’ and more comments when I push back because I’m not ‘respecting’ my elders ( I’m 50 ffs) .

Everyone has opinions that differ ( as demonstrated by PP here) about the elderly and getting old.
I suspect that all have some truth in them - that as people get older they have less of a filter or speak their mind. Some through illness or others because they think ‘sod it I have had enough’ if being polite.

Maybe their generational frame of reference means that they have less understanding or patience with the world now . Also I find my dad tends to read shit in newspapers and spout it all as facts which also causes interesting debate.
BUT we are all different!
Maybe ‘we’ are less tolerant and more ageist as a society. I think health and other services are also guilty of that in some situations ( for example my dad doesn’t have a smart phone and is constantly being asked to scan QR codes or log into accounts etc which he finds annoying and is quite rude to people about - all very understandable)

An interesting thread nonetheless.

Older people are fair game on here.

It’s like bingo.

Old(er)
MiL
Grandparent
And so on ad infinitum

Different generations have differing viewpoints. That’s how it is. When the 30, 40, 50 somethings here are 70/80, they’ll be the same. Their opinions won’t chime with the views and opinions of the time. What was encouraged/ accepted years ago, isn’t now, but you can’t expect people to not have those opinions. Not talking about discrimination or prejudice. Those aren’t acceptable at any time, but raising babies and children, work practices, not answering the phone or the door- all kinds of small and big things are different and will be different again.

Don't forget the age gap posts too.

Elderly( ish) relative asked loudly if my brother in law was a girl like my sister ( masculine lesbian). He pretended not to hear and has never mentioned it. He looks nothing like a woman.

The number of threads where middle-aged women boast about perimenopause and beyond having liberated them from giving a fuck and having got to the point of life of just saying what they feel without worrying if it offends someone.
But when it is someone older than that who is just carrying on the motion, people start screaming ageism.

Be it caused by hormonal changes, dementia, cognitive deterioration, generational differences etc, the fact remains that a lot of people do lose, or choose to stop using, their filters as they age. That isn't prejudice against older people, or saying that it applies in all cases, or that they should be discriminated against.

I'm a granny in my 70s and my views and opinions haven't changed much as I've got older. But...I do voice them more as I'm not trying to please people any more, and, according to my offspring, my voice is louder than it used to be so they do feel the need to shush me now and again. I don't go out of my way to offend and, as far as I'm aware, I'm not nasty to individuals but, who knows? Shoot me now.

Apparently not. Many young people seem to think the world started the day they were born, and anything which happened prior to that doesn't matter.

"it must have been so hard growing up in an age where your only worth was your erotic capital. Can you tell me more about that please"

Not true. Total bollocks.

if you want to say "some" people do this as they age, then it might hold water.

This - I've never heard such nonsense. Some older people do lose, or modify, their filters, many others never do. My late DM had mild dementia and she didn't lose her filters at all.