Snoring DH - can’t deal with him anymore

[Sotiredtootired]

Another night of no sleep. DH snorting away all night. As soon as he gets into bed he falls asleep and the snoring starts. It doesn’t help if I poke him, prod him, even a gentle kick doesn’t stop him. It doesn’t matter if he’s flat on his back or on his side.

DS was away for a week which meant I slept in his bed away from the snoring. It was bliss. I started to feel normal again with some sleep but he’s home now and we don’t have a spare room.

DH is slim, exercises 4 times a week and doesn’t drink or smoke. So why is he snoring? He used to occasionally snore when he had a cold but that was it. For the last few months he’s started snoring every night. He’s 46. His dad is a horrendous snorer so maybe it’s genetic?

DH has tried a spray and nose strips but nothing works. I am going to buy an airbed today and will have to sleep downstairs. I can’t cope with the lack of sleep anymore.

Its a form of hell lying next to someone snorting and snoring all night oblivious to the exhausted person lying next to him.

I do t know what it is about men and snoring but you have my sympathy.

Separate bedrooms?

We don’t have a spare room

GP visit? Posture pillows? It's not spray / strips and the end of it!

Has he been checked for sleep apnea? My dad has this and means his snoring was crazy before he got the machine thing he now uses

i see you have bought a blow up mattress. Is there a chance that you could do turn and turn about with your DH so it's not always you on the mattress?

He should get it investigated and sleep on the airbed till he's got some sort of solution.

I'll say what I always say on every thread about this common problem.

He sleeps on the sofa until he sorts his snoring out, or forever. In the future you might move to a bigger house or have a spare room after DC grow up.

HE has the antisocial problem that is harming YOU, and it's therefore on him to get out of the room.

I'd look at getting a decent z bed type of thing rather than an air mattress though, whoever is using it

I agree it should be him that sleeps downstairs and not you!

schoolrunmumbum yeah I agree. It’s his problem. To be fair he has offered to sleep downstairs. I think taking turns is a good idea.

I am an incredibly light sleeper though so a part of me thinks other people might sleep through it but no way I can.

Save up for a super deluxe sofa bed in the living room , to be your haven (or to send him to)

Get a solution in place

Only people in movies lovingly slumber in each others arms all night 😁

Make him go to the doctor. Sounds like possible sleep apnoea to me. My DP has it and his CPAP machine has stopped the snoring and helped him medically

I use the silicone ear plugs but double them. It might take the edge off a bit?

Has anyone ever had success from going to GP for snoring treatment? My DP (horrendous snorer) refuses to go because he thinks there’s nothing they can do.

Everything I’ve read about snoring is “lose weight” and “don’t drink alcohol”. DH is super fit and rarely drinks so perhaps there is a medical issue worth checking out.

Like a lot of other stubborn men he refuses to even try and make a GP appointment. So selfish.

mine has polyps in his nose and adenoid problems which leads to snoring. Apparently i grind my teeth, and i know i talk/shout in my sleep. (i sleep badly due to menopause, and i do wake myself up snoring sometimes)

our solution has been for the one who can't sleep to go on the sofa, but the next night the one who causes the sleepless night goes on the sofa. But that does require both of you to acknowledge there's an issue (and now our DC have left home, we have the option of spare room. which is nice but not available to all)

Definitely invest in a decent sofa bed for whichever of you ends up using it. How old is your DS (eventually you'll be able to have his room and make it your own). DH and I have slept in separate rooms since covid, it's literally life changing, we're both so much happier now that we both sleep well (he didn't sleep well as he knew he was preventing me from sleeping properly).

My DP refuses to go to GP too "because they can't do anything". We have tried nasal strips and a mouth guard at home that didn't work.

OP the main thing is to not try to live your life on little/ bad sleep.. it's absolute torture and so unhealthy for you and impacts the whole family. I am glad to hear your DP agrees he should leave the room. You are very kind and kinder than me if you agree to take turns!

I would have much more sympathy for my DP if he was trying to address his snoring but he isn't... so our bedroom is now "mummy's room" and he sleeps in the spare room, that we are very lucky to have.

My husband had surgery to remove tonsils and some flappy bits of skin that doc thought were contributing , didn’t solve it (specially after a drink) but made it a lot better

Well if he is being selfish, he can sleep on the airbed until he decides it's worth fixing HIS medical problem. He has no motivation if you're the person mopping up after him. My partner snored terribly, a CPAP machine has solved it and he's now allowed back in my bed. I think you need to be more strategically strict with him. It's his problem to solve.

Very selfish. There is obviously something wrong and if it could be sorted he should make an appointment

My husband is a horrendous snorer, and has been for as long as his family can remember. He is not overweight, is young and relatively active. I have had to wear earplugs for our entire relationship (and have recently started to develop wax build ups as a result, which isn't great).

I listened to some videos on YouTube of sleep apnoea and realised that my husband has it - try this as you might be surprised. I sent him to the gp and he was diagnosed with moderate sleep apnoea. He is now on a waiting list for a cpap trial... getting on for 12 months wait with no progress yet. I was amazed at how many times he disturbed a night according to the sleep study. Needless to say, we are both frequently exhausted.

We have found that sleeping on his side or front helps slightly. Sleeping on his back makes it so much worse.

I would get him to the gp, get yourself some earplugs and try different sleeping positions.

All I can say is that I empathise - it is awful to feel so disturbed all the time. I cannot wait for the day that my husband gets his cpap.

For those on this thread who had a sleep apnoea diagnosis, when was this and how long did it take to get a cpap?

Same thing with my husband who had sleep apnea and snoring, pretty much solved the problem. However he was only diagnosed with large tonsils after going private.

DP went to sleep clinic, diagnosed then CPAP issued. About 5 to 6 weeks in all but not sure of current wait times. It is a life changer for both parties though for the wearer can take some getting used to.