So ashamed of myself

[Frostfair]

I got a bit drunk last night and stupidly replied to a message I’d gotten from my ex as we recently started contact again. I felt lonely being out with friends who were all coupled up and did meet him and took him back home. I don’t know why but it felt right until this morning when he was a total dick.
I said I was sore and he just replied that I’d “liked it last night” and shouldn’t complain. I wasn’t even complaining, I had just said that I was sore. There were some more shitty comments before we left as if this had meant nothing.

I know that I was an idiot and that it’s my own fault but I feel so horrible, worthless and ashamed about myself. I’m pretty sure I’ll have some bruises coming through which means that I will be reminded of this fuck up for at least a week. My friends know that we went back to mine and one has texted me already and I’m too ashamed to tell her about it. Why am I so stupid and do these stupid things

How did you end up with bruises?

Let it go. Make sure u were safe re protection and then forget about it. I would be tempted to delete his vontact details

We’ve all done daft things when drinking too much. Write it off, block and delete him. Make it a New Year’s resolution to start afresh and be kind to yourself.

You’re not stupid, and shouldn’t feel ashamed, why do you have bruises though?

Why would you have bruises, was he rough with you?

And as other posters have said, just make sure your were careful with protection and if not get yourself checked out as soon as possible. Don’t beat yourself up over it, it’s done now in the past. I would be deleting all his contact info or blocking his number he sounds like a dick.

Why do you have bruises

When you say sore and bruises? I dont think ive ever had a bruise from sex. Was it consensual??

dont be too hard on yourself. He is an ex for a reason, you just needed reminding of that. Delete all contact details and block on everything. Be kind to yourself today x

Hope you are ok OP.x

You're not stupid. You did something that you regret, which is fine, if you learn from it and move on. Channel the feelings you're experiencing about your decision now to make sure you don't find yourself in the same position in future, rather than into a self loathing spiral, which won't help you at all.

Why do you have bruises?

Did you consent to rough treatment?

Were you in a fit state to consent?

This sounds very worrying.

You are sore and have bruises?
Did you consent to him being rough with you?

Look after yourself OP. I'd cut all contact with this man.

Thank you all.
It was rough but all consensual so I’m not claiming he did anything to me. Just a lot of regret and disappointment in myself

Be kind on yourself & just draw a line & don't do it again

I'd be concerned with why you are bruised and don't seem to know why.

Nobody is perfect. We are all on a learning curve.
today is the start of a New Beginning x

@Frostfair I really hope you are ok.
Bruises sound very concerning.

Consensual sex should not show bruising.

What a vile person he sounds.

@Frostfair Don't be hard on yourself. You are not alone in getting back with an 'ex' and then thinking 'that wasn't a great idea'.

Onwards and upwards ..👍

You were lonely, he was a known quantity and you probably still have a few feelings for him. Time apart sometimes gives the past more of a rosy glow. The glow wore off this morning. You aren't the first to be caught out like this, as others have said kick yourself a bit and move on with your life. He's a knob.

Look on this as having conducted a scientific confirmation of your theory that you'd be better off without him - hypothesis confirmed!

This is nothing more or less than prefecture ordinary hunan behaviour skiing a bit of comfort, reassurance and familiarity when you were feeling a bit lonely, left-out and vulnerable. Nothing to beat yourself up about. Was it the best thing for you and making you feel good long-term? No, but now you know.

Please just chalk this up to experience and speak kindly to yourself about it as you would to your best friend in the same situation.

Incidentally, his behaviour (and anyone's, actually) really says nothing about you and everything about him. I realise that's a cliché but it is honestly factual. Two different men in EXACTLY the same situation with you exactly as you are would and could have behaved very differently.

This is MN so of course anyone that regrets sex the next morning was forced into it. If ops ex wanted her back she wouldn’t have been here posting it’s only because he wasn’t interested after that doesn’t mean it wasn’t consensual oh and I’ve definitely had consensual sex where I had bruises the next day (it was the position not because he done them) so yes it can happen and in the op she didn’t even say she had bruises just that she thinks she may! Stop trying to turn it into something else!

Mmmm. I’m so sorry you are feeling so rotten op. Surely few women consent to being physically bruised and sore? And what sort of man gets a kick out of doing that to a woman?

I doubt that you would have consented if you knew that this was going to be the outcome op.

Take care of yourself op and steer clear of this man. It’s far better to be lonely than to be with awful selfish men who treat you horribly. You deserve so much better. Maybe do some work on that?

And op. Be open and honest with that friend of yours. She sounds like a good egg. 💐💐💐

You are not the first and you will not be the last.
Block, delete, go nc.
New Year, new resolution. No going backwards.

You did nothing to be ashamed of OP - you had sex with an ex who's nasty - that's all.

Part of your feeling so bad is Beer Fear probably.

You are not tho only one who shagged an Ex over Christmas.
You were as keen as he was which is why you took him back to your place. Own your decisions, be kind to yourself. No need to feel shame.