Christmas gift, feeling strangely upset and can't fathom.

[Mairtea]

So, the new partner of my step son, gave me a Christmas decoration, with the names of our adult DC’s on it.

We have 6 between the two of us.

So far so good, except we are very low contact with one DC, due to past difficulties.

I worked hard to cover my upset, but if I'm honest wanted to cry.

I suppose I'm trying to work through my emotional response and reaction, including her reasons for the gift.

What I am saying is I think you are focusing on the wrong thing. A thread saying ‘Sad and upset at Christmas without missing dc’ might be more appropriate. This is the root of the issue, not the Xmas gift itself.

But we accept that missing DC isn't currently part of our lives as do our other DC’s. Easier for me than my partner, but a choice he has made.

A thread entitled ‘Sad and upset at Christmas without missing dc’ isn't a discussion I need to have.

As I keep saying, I was mulling over my reaction to a simple Christmas present, my reaction caught me a bit unaware, I wondered about the gift givers choice.

I think I'd also be wondering about the gift-giver's partner. Did they seriously have no input into this gift? Because I know I would ward a partner away from any gifts that I thought might hurt my family, even if they seemed innocuous. So was the partner clueless, or did they know, perhaps making the situation even more complicated from their perspective?

No blame anywhere from me, OP. It's most likely someone thinking they're being thoughtful and missing the mark, and unintentionally whacking you in a tender spot - but it might not be.

I’m guessing thoughtlessness rather than malice. They bought one for their own family and decided to just get a second as an easy gift for yours, without really thinking about the implications.