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Original poster

Nothing to look forward to but also no money!

29 replies

Firefly993 · 27/12/2023 19:10

I have nothing planned or booked. Ideally I'd book a holiday but I've no money.
I feel a bit depressed with the new year coming and a blank diary.
What cheap or small things do you plan to cheer you up?

OP posts:
Nagado · 28/12/2023 00:33

I have one of those all consuming, never to be mentioned, hobbies that you read about on here, but have been in your shoes previously and there is lots of free stuff going on throughout the year. Try and plan at least one thing a month.

What part of the country are you in? Locally, we have free to attend ‘parties in the park’ each summer. Usually lots of local bands with quite a well known headliner.

There are wildlife areas and local historical places that ask for volunteers throughout the year.

Do you drive? Book yourself in to do a boot fair.

Are you near the coast? Plan a coastal walk or a day on the beach with a good book and a packed lunch.

Are you near a city? There are lots of things going on that are free. Museums, art galleries etc.

Are you in receipt of any benefits? You could do adult education at a subsidised price, or even free with some courses.

UsingChangeofName · 28/12/2023 00:35

Meet a friend.

Depending on the level of no money (as in 'Can't pay bills' or ' Can pay regular bills but am counting pennies and praying for no unexpected bills each month end' or 'can't afford the holiday I would like) then meet friend for lunch...... for a coffee...... for a drink ...... for a walk ...... invite them round for the evening.
I find spending a few hours just putting the world to rights with the right person is better than therapy.

If you have some money, but just not enough for the holiday - what about booking a night out doing something you enjoy ? Theatre, gig, sports event, comedy club ? Don't all have to be expensive.

ChristmasEvemaddness · 28/12/2023 00:57

A holiday can be a night away

Gruelle · 28/12/2023 01:03

Order a set of books you’ve been meaning to read, and some better than average whisky, and snuggle up on the sofa for a couple of weeks. You’ll feel better afterwards.

(Highly recommend Mick Herron’s ‘Slow Horses’ series.)

MintJulia · 28/12/2023 01:13

Fresh coat of paint in whichever rooms need it. Hanging baskets or tubs of spring flowers. Bit of spring cleaning and a clear out.

Plan Easter bank holiday. Book a couple of extra days off work and search the net for spring festivals or exhibitions, or book to go see friends/family. Doesn't have to be expensive.

TheSquareMile · 28/12/2023 01:33

Are you a member of your local library?

Curling up on the sofa with a blanket, a milky coffee and an interesting book can be really nice.

CrapBucket · 28/12/2023 01:35

I am hoping to volunteer at some music festivals this year, just for something fun and different to do, that won’t cost a fortune.

Original poster
Firefly993 · 28/12/2023 14:26

Yes I go to the library alot and reading is my main hobby. I'm in Ireland, very rural, not near a city and about an hour from the coast. Unfortunately I don't really have any friends. I'm not from here and people are very clicky. I'm also shy so not a great mix!
Some decorating is a good shout.
I have money to pay the bills but not much more.
I think I'm in a rut. I don't work sahm, that coupled with no friends makes it difficult. I really need to find a hobby!

OP posts:
whizzerandtopper · 28/12/2023 14:40

I can relate. I'm also in Ireland, moved a lot the last 20 years and it's been hard to get to know people long term. Is there anything you would really like? A book, beauty treatment, bag or something lime that?

Farmageddon · 28/12/2023 14:45

Do you drive OP? there are lots of FE colleges around the country that do evening classes at a reasonable price. Most will be starting classes in the new year.
I also haven't been on a holiday in a few years, but do small things regularly that I enjoy - meet some friends for dinner or a coffee, listen to a podcast and go for a long walk (lovely on winter days), do some baking or drafts, watch good documentaries etc.

Maybe set yourself a fitness challenge for the new year, or look at hobbies you can do from home. Are you willing to go out of your comfort zone a bit?

Gruelle · 28/12/2023 14:45

Not sure beauty treatments and new bags are much use for anyone living an isolated life …

But if you read a lot, @Firefly993, are you sure there’s no book club in your area? That might be a way of branching out and meeting other people?

Bethebest · 28/12/2023 14:48

How about entering some free competitions? If you enter enough you are bound to win eventually, I’ve won some lovely experiences that money can’t buy but more importantly, the lift and day dreaming it gives me is priceless.

whizzerandtopper · 28/12/2023 14:50

@Gruelle well it was just a suggestion as to something that may cheer op up. Sorry I spoke, I won't bother again

Christmassss · 28/12/2023 14:51

For me it’s all about meeting my friends.

Original poster
Firefly993 · 28/12/2023 14:53

There is a book club but its on the only afternoon that I can't make!
I would like to try meditation or something like that I just feel really nervous to go to a class not knowing anyone which as an adult sounds utterly ridiculous!
@Farmageddon I do drive so yes I probably need to push myself a bit more.
@Christmassss What I could do with are some friends but that's proving to be quite difficult

OP posts:
Gruelle · 28/12/2023 14:59

whizzerandtopper · 28/12/2023 14:50

@Gruelle well it was just a suggestion as to something that may cheer op up. Sorry I spoke, I won't bother again

This is a discussion forum - it’s inevitable that other people might sometimes have a different view to yours! There’s no need to take offence, surely?

OwlWeiwei · 28/12/2023 15:08

Make the most of everything that you can enjoy for free.

I'd plan

  • a free online yoga course (Adrienne often does one in the new year, I think.)
  • some free uni online courses - find a subject that fascinates you and then type it into Google with 'free online uni course' - something will come up. You don't get individual tutor feedback on free courses, but you can still learn a fair amount.
  • Explore free online meditation and affirmations and TED talks - a little intensive booster to your confidence and calm.
  • Walks in nature every day and as the walks progress, start to connect more with nature - maybe gather young nettles for nettle soup (with mint and peas or broad beans it's peppery and delicious) or wild garlic for pesto, collect teasels and other dry-able seedheads, flowers and grasses to decorate your home.
  • make a list of books you've always wanted to read and start ordering them from the library. Push yourself to extend your range a bit.
  • Buy a notebook and take up journalling of some kind - bullet journalling to keep track of your exercise/books/meditation, or keep a dream journal or write a bucket list or just explore how you feel in streams of consciousness
  • Volunteer somewhere - should be free, will help you get out of the house and meet people. Even if they don't become friends, you are contributing to the community or the environment.
  • Dream up some ways to earn a bit more money which you will set aside to pay for a holiday. Anything from advertising as a babysitter/dog walker, to selling stuff on Vinted or Ebay.
  • Research some places you'd like to visit and then look into the most budget ways you could achieve those trips.
  • A daily pause to connect with nature - I love to make a tea or coffee early in the morning or late at night and star or moon gaze, look at the dawn or sunset, the frost or dew, the shapes of clouds, the birds, squirrels and other wildlife. It's one of my greatest pleasures and completely free. The full moon in the winter sky this morning was hypnotic.
Gruelle · 28/12/2023 15:10

Come on, @Firefly993 - friends don’t just materialise by magic! Of course you’ll have to make yourself known in unfamiliar places if you want to get to know people.

What about activities for your child(ren)? You don’t say how old they are but you must take them out? That must bring you into contact with other parents, at least.

I think anyone might worry that if you’re in an area where you know no one and have no significant contacts - you have no back up in an emergency or even just an unexpected situation. I’d say this is more important than daydreaming about far flung holidays. You need a support network close at hand.

Christmassss · 28/12/2023 15:11

Firefly993
Maybe trying to make some new friends could be a new year challenge for you?
I approached it like dating about 17 years ago when I realised I didn’t have many friends and wanted to have a party for my 40th and didn’t have many potential guests. I went all out asking people for coffee, over for lunch etc etc and eventually ended up with some good friends I’m still really close to.

Christmassss · 28/12/2023 15:12

Could you join some groups with your DC or if they are older volunteer to help with anything they are involved in?

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 28/12/2023 15:12

If you love reading - what about having a bash at writing a book? You don't even have to do anything with it if you don't want to, but the discipline and concentration involved can be usefully therapeutic, as can putting down ideas and thoughts and forming them into a coherent story.

Farmageddon · 28/12/2023 15:21

Firefly993 · 28/12/2023 14:53

There is a book club but its on the only afternoon that I can't make!
I would like to try meditation or something like that I just feel really nervous to go to a class not knowing anyone which as an adult sounds utterly ridiculous!
@Farmageddon I do drive so yes I probably need to push myself a bit more.
@Christmassss What I could do with are some friends but that's proving to be quite difficult

Don't worry OP, it doesn't sound ridiculous - it can be really nerve-wrcking meeting new people, especially if you are shy and a bit out of practice.

The fact that you drive is brilliant - I'm still learning at nearly 40, have tried several times and will hopefully get my licence in 2024. It's something I'm really bad at unfortunately.

Anyway, back to you - if you like animals, is there an animal shelter not too far away where you could volunteer, maybe to do some dog walking once a week or something. It would get you out of the house, get some exercise and you would meet other people but without lots of pressure.

Or is there a community group in the nearest town? They probably have events or voluteering situations you could look into. You may not find the perfect thing straight away, but if you try a few things you may find something that clicks.

Plus it will get a bit easier to put yourself out there once you do it a few times.
I would also recommend listening to some positive meditations, with affirmations you can do to help your self esteem. I have started a while ago and it really helps me feel more positive about my day.

Original poster
Firefly993 · 28/12/2023 17:09

I have always wanted to write a book so will put that on my list.
@Christmassss i think that's a good idea to look at making friends like dating. I almost feel like I don't know how to do it. I have asked a few people out for a coffee. They say yes loosely and then I think they mean no and don't follow up so maybe this is something I need to work on.
I do need a network of friends. My kids are 16 and 9. 16 year old has sen and I've made a decision to be at home until he leaves school. I feel like he's needed me more in his teenage years than when he was younger.
I will definitely look into volunteering roles.
@OwlWeiwei that's a great list thank you. I've started a notebook and added all ideas from this thread, even some I think I wouldn't do.

OP posts:
Britpopbaby · 28/12/2023 17:22

What about buying the app Stylebook and cataloging all your clothes and creating outfits? I don’t think it will cost that much to download.

Tonight1 · 28/12/2023 17:40

UsingChangeofName · 28/12/2023 00:35

Meet a friend.

Depending on the level of no money (as in 'Can't pay bills' or ' Can pay regular bills but am counting pennies and praying for no unexpected bills each month end' or 'can't afford the holiday I would like) then meet friend for lunch...... for a coffee...... for a drink ...... for a walk ...... invite them round for the evening.
I find spending a few hours just putting the world to rights with the right person is better than therapy.

If you have some money, but just not enough for the holiday - what about booking a night out doing something you enjoy ? Theatre, gig, sports event, comedy club ? Don't all have to be expensive.

I like your categories 😁

OP I have a favourite hotel and keep an eye out for when prices are low and go once every few months, if this is an option? But otherwise yes there are loads of cheap or free things to do if you look into it (and don't live too rurally)