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Original poster

So fat….help

67 replies

FatFemale · 25/12/2023 19:24

Hello, i know its Christmas day and im currently lounging on my bed in elasticated pjs. We took some photos earlier at dinner and im disgusted by myself. Im so fat, have a double chin and currently size 18. Yes, ive eaten my body weight in Christmas chocs and yes i will continue to until 27th. How tf do i turn myself around? How do i become disciplined? Whats best way to start exercising? Ive school age kids (who wont go for a walk with me), im 42 and around 17 stone (so 7 stones to lose). I dont drink (alcohol free for past 7 years). Feel so shit with my body/mindset/lack of discipline & motivation

OP posts:
greenacrylicpaint · 27/12/2023 08:11

small achievable goals.
go on that walk today. and tomorrow. and the day after. get into the habit of going out once a day.
next week stop snacking. only eat at mealtimes, have your sweet thing as part of the meal.
next week walk faster, until out of breath

jusf examples. find a small change that you feel comfortable with and stick with it. add the next small change a week later.
gyms have good deals in january, maybe swimming or a class are your next small thing.

Franticbutterfly · 27/12/2023 08:46

One meal a day and no carbs. I've lost 64lbs since April.

FortunataTagnips · 27/12/2023 09:05

I’d gnaw my own limbs off on that, @Franticbutterfly .

Franticbutterfly · 27/12/2023 09:05

FortunataTagnips · 27/12/2023 09:05

I’d gnaw my own limbs off on that, @Franticbutterfly .

😂 You get used to it.

TheMotherSide · 27/12/2023 09:10

What LaahDeeDah said about hunger.
Feeling hungry, or not getting to enjoy feeling satiated following a meal are just sensations in the body. No need to do anything about them, even if we're conditioned to try to 'fix' the initial discomfort thereof.

Having a 'long game' mindset is useful: think about where you want to be next Christmas, not in 8 weeks time. You've said you have 7 st to lose -don't focus on that. Instead think about what you can safely expect to lose and keep off making a reasonable amount of effort without expecting the circumstances that have made keeping a healthy weight difficult to change ‐you can only control certain things without too much stress. If that means that you find you can lose and keep off 2kg per month, that's enough.

Portion sizes are an easy win. Get some smaller bowls and plates.

If you've never done it before, spend a week calorie counting. Download MyFitnessPal and accurately weigh and measure everything you eat. Totally enlightening, and likely to change how you look at food forever.

Try intermittent fasting. 5:2, 16:8, 18:6, they're all useful. I like how IF changes one's expectations about how eating happens in a day and so helps forge new habits.

Reduce carbs. Don't bother trying to swap them out ‐just don't have them. Just have the bolognese, ditch the pasta. And so on. It's stops being weird after a while. Reducing carbs is the most freeing thing ‐once the body deals with not having them, the physical sensation is gorgeous and the mind experiences this tremendou
s let-go.

Get a bit transactional about eating. It's just energy ‐you need it, but only a limited amount. Anything more is superfluous, why would one take more than one needs, in any area of life (cue glaring parallels with the whole of western civilisation ‐I find this awareness helps a lot). It doesn't really matter what your calories consist of: you can let go of meal composition or what you're expected to eat at specific times of day. Stew for breakfast? Sure. Sardines and yoghurt for dinner -why not? This too is freeing. As long as you know you've had the amount of energy your body will need for what you expect it to be doing for the day, you don't need to give food a second thought.

Set realistic goals and assess dynamically on a day to day basis. Perhaps you decide that you're going to aim for 1500 calories / day to maintain steady loss. Keep asking what's necessary. If you've spent a day WFH and not left the house, that'll probably be way in excess of what you need for the day. So you won't need to put in 1500. And the other way around.

Good luck, OP!

shearwater2 · 27/12/2023 11:38

TheMotherSide · 27/12/2023 09:10

What LaahDeeDah said about hunger.
Feeling hungry, or not getting to enjoy feeling satiated following a meal are just sensations in the body. No need to do anything about them, even if we're conditioned to try to 'fix' the initial discomfort thereof.

Having a 'long game' mindset is useful: think about where you want to be next Christmas, not in 8 weeks time. You've said you have 7 st to lose -don't focus on that. Instead think about what you can safely expect to lose and keep off making a reasonable amount of effort without expecting the circumstances that have made keeping a healthy weight difficult to change ‐you can only control certain things without too much stress. If that means that you find you can lose and keep off 2kg per month, that's enough.

Portion sizes are an easy win. Get some smaller bowls and plates.

If you've never done it before, spend a week calorie counting. Download MyFitnessPal and accurately weigh and measure everything you eat. Totally enlightening, and likely to change how you look at food forever.

Try intermittent fasting. 5:2, 16:8, 18:6, they're all useful. I like how IF changes one's expectations about how eating happens in a day and so helps forge new habits.

Reduce carbs. Don't bother trying to swap them out ‐just don't have them. Just have the bolognese, ditch the pasta. And so on. It's stops being weird after a while. Reducing carbs is the most freeing thing ‐once the body deals with not having them, the physical sensation is gorgeous and the mind experiences this tremendou
s let-go.

Get a bit transactional about eating. It's just energy ‐you need it, but only a limited amount. Anything more is superfluous, why would one take more than one needs, in any area of life (cue glaring parallels with the whole of western civilisation ‐I find this awareness helps a lot). It doesn't really matter what your calories consist of: you can let go of meal composition or what you're expected to eat at specific times of day. Stew for breakfast? Sure. Sardines and yoghurt for dinner -why not? This too is freeing. As long as you know you've had the amount of energy your body will need for what you expect it to be doing for the day, you don't need to give food a second thought.

Set realistic goals and assess dynamically on a day to day basis. Perhaps you decide that you're going to aim for 1500 calories / day to maintain steady loss. Keep asking what's necessary. If you've spent a day WFH and not left the house, that'll probably be way in excess of what you need for the day. So you won't need to put in 1500. And the other way around.

Good luck, OP!

Long game is good but many people need short term and acheivable goals.

Some good advice, but if you want spag bol, for goodness' sake have it, don't sit there with a bowl of sauce. It's much better to have foods you enjoy, being careful with portions, and build your diet plan around it.

FortunataTagnips · 27/12/2023 11:41

@TheMotherSide That sounds like an express ticket to an eating disorder. Food is supposed to be pleasurable. The trick is to change your habits so overprocessed, unhealthy food no longer feels like a treat. The less of that stuff you eat, the less you want it, and the less of it you want.
Spag Bol is absolutely fine - but make the sauce yourself and choose wholemeal pasta.

greenacrylicpaint · 27/12/2023 11:42

carbs are not the devil.
a reasonable amount of complex carbs are full of nutrients and fibre.
switch to wholegrain and weigh the portion until you get the feeling of a reasonable portion.

Ulysees · 27/12/2023 11:48

Bolognese without pasta 😳

Oh and don't buy the pretendy pasta or rice. The zero carb crap 🤮

Just eat less. That's my plan. I agree with eating wholegrain,lots of veggies etc. Although this morning I've had white tiger bread toast and marmalade. It'll be porridge etc now I'm back at work just cba this morning.

We can do this!

I've also mused to dh about rejoining the gym. Just for weights. I already walk a lot.

christmaspawpaws · 27/12/2023 11:52

Definitely food is the key
I'm a size 16 and exercise a lot and my weight doesn't vary (spin classes 3 x weekly and weights)
I only lose if I'm doing really intense exercise so 45-60 mins spin a day

Ulysees · 27/12/2023 11:54

A friend of mine who's early 60s has just lost over a stone intermittent fasting.

cardibach · 27/12/2023 11:58

I’ve lost over 2 stone and got much fitter this year. I was a size 22, I’m tall (5’10”)and I’m 59 (for reference).
I got a personal trainer - best spend ever (but you have to find one that suits - mine has a home gym and socialises in women). I first got toned a bit which changed how I looked and also my energy levels improved. When I felt ready I started counting calories with My Fitness Pal - this meant I could continue to eat what I wanted, just adjusting quantity. I cope much better that way and I think it’s more sustainable.
Pretty sure I’ll have put a load in over Christmas but it doesn’t worry me because I know how to lose it now.

Goldmember · 27/12/2023 12:14

I hit this point mid October, peak fatness absolutely fed up and determined to make a change. Size 20, 15st, knees and feet starting to hurt with stomach bloat.

I made an appt with a private weight loss clinic to enquire about the WL jabs but decided to start the (cheaper) daily tablets. They have been life changing 💫 no more food noise, grazing and eating for the sake of it. I'm eating (like a normal slim person) when hungry, smaller portions and can choose nutritious meals now that my brain is no longer obsessed with junk food. I lost a lot during Nov, it's tailed off a bit in Dec but I'm 16lbs down in 2 months, and now a size 16/18, no bloat and can fit into my old clothes. I'm thrilled and plan to continue as far as I can manage. If you are in the NW and want the clinic details, PM me.

Goldmember · 27/12/2023 12:25

Oh and I have a private instagram (no followers, separate from my normal IG ac) as a diary to track my WL photos. I follow lots of WL accounts / personal trainers / healthy meal plans for inspiration and tips.

I've become a "gym person", from the laziest fat couch potato you've ever met to absolutely loving the gym. I was there at opening time on Xmas Eve 😲. I've joined (and quit) many times over the years but I'm completely in the zone going at least 4 times a week. It's my me-time, love the exercise high 😇.

shearwater2 · 27/12/2023 12:47

I bit the bullet and weighed myself this morning and have only gained 1lb from my lowest weight recently. Just doing maintenance over Christmas and still going to the gym. Will go back to tracking food and on the weight loss calories on 2nd Jan to get another stone off.

TheMotherSide · 27/12/2023 16:06

Oh no, all I'm saying is that 'meals' can look however we want them to look. If you tend to run into difficulty with processed carbs like pasta, you don't have to have them simply because that's what we expect to eat with bolognese. I've substituted pasta with spiralised courgette, wilted spinach or lentils etc. I eat very few processed foods. But the point I'm trying to make is that, because we often have strong emotional attachments to food, and these can turn from a source of comfort and joy to frustration and disappointment when we try to diet and still maintain a sense of what set meals consist of, I'm putting it out there that we can free ourselves to eat the things we love without having to build traditional meals around them. For me, my homemade bolognese is the highlight ‐I don't need the pasta.
There are hundreds of websites and YouTube channels devoted to making more or less successful substitutions for the most common processed carbohydrates: bread, pasta, rice etc. My advice would be not to bother. Enjoy the foods you love but don't sweat about missing or trying to replace the ones your cutting out.

FortunataTagnips · 27/12/2023 18:02

That makes sense, @TheMotherSide . Another example is the way we often see eating something sweet as the default breakfast.

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