So fat….help

[FatFemale]

Hello, i know its Christmas day and im currently lounging on my bed in elasticated pjs. We took some photos earlier at dinner and im disgusted by myself. Im so fat, have a double chin and currently size 18. Yes, ive eaten my body weight in Christmas chocs and yes i will continue to until 27th. How tf do i turn myself around? How do i become disciplined? Whats best way to start exercising? Ive school age kids (who wont go for a walk with me), im 42 and around 17 stone (so 7 stones to lose). I dont drink (alcohol free for past 7 years). Feel so shit with my body/mindset/lack of discipline & motivation

For godsake people shouldn’t be recommending sleeves. my sister has had a sleeve and had horrendous health issues from it. She’s still over weight as well. It’s not a magic wand.

The NHS App Active 10 is a good place to start. It encourages you to start walking daily and gives you motivational badges to earn. You could also put a step counter app on your phone and try to reach a daily target of, say, 5000 steps and slowly increase that target.

There's lots of motivational workouts you could do on YouTube, such as Lucy Wyndham Read.

Food-wise, what works for me is fasting, so that I stop eating g after dinner and then don't eat again until the next day, after I've done a workout.

Thanks for all your advice. I think meal planning and getting rid of snacks is the best option. Atm im literally putting myself last and grabbing any crap out of the cupboards/beige freezer dinners. I need to make myself a plan for tomorrow onwards. My youngest is 10, so i feel hes ok to be left (if he wont walk with me) for 30 mins whilst i go out round the block.

gastric sleeves are a bit drastic. I know im fat but im not that fat am i? Plus saggy skin…id be worried about all that if i lost it like that, not to mention possibly dying.

how do you find the strength to step away from the chocolate/binging?

how to enjoy exercise??

I'm also a similar size and weight, and keen to lose a decent Whack as this is the heaviest I've ever been. Keen to help motivate each other via a group on here!

OP "gastric sleeves are a bit drastic. I know I'm fat but I'm not that fat, am I?

Me - Yes you can get surgery at that weight, I did, it's you BMI and other factors that count

OP "Plus saggy skin… I'd be worried about all that if I lost it like that, not to mention possibly dying.

Me - I'll trade a little loose skin (its not that much) for being able to breathe well, eat healthily, buy normal size clothes and feel energised every day, feel body confident and looking good, as well as knowing I have avoided type 2 diabetes and other health issues

OP "how do you find the strength to step away from the chocolate/binging?"

Me - you don't have to, surgery either cuts out the hormone area (sleeve) that makes you feel hungry or it is bypassed. You learn on your journey to have a better relationship with food and your eating triggers. Also, it will make you vomit or give you dumping. A few mistakes and you soon learn. They can fix the weight you have to fix the psychological bit.

OP "how to enjoy exercise??

Me - I love it, walking for miles, swimming, I can cope with a little apron on my stomach. At least I can exercise without feeling hot and puffed out with a thumping heart as I am no carrying so much excess weight.

It's all about making person choices best for you. I chose surgery to kick-start my new life. It is not an easy option or a quick fix

The gastric sleeve is a drastic option! No need for that just now OP. Great the other poster had good results but it's a life changing operation not a silver bullet, and it's easily undone if you don't stick to the lifestyle change. You also need to address your underlying eating issues too.

I'd start small and build habits that amount to a lifestyle change rather than trying a full on exercise regime and restrictive diet.

Don't try and change too much at once! Here's my three suggestions:

Commit to walking half an hour a day. You almost certainly waste more time than this doom scrolling, so no excuses to yourself about not having the time! It's a lovely habit to get into and really does help your mind as well as your body.

Secondly - Identify what you're definitely going to binge/snack on and don't buy it. Not for you, not for anyone else - they can do without whatever it is. Don't be swayed by any protestations and don't get into the "they shouldn't have my diet forced on them" narrative. I guarantee you not buying the unhealthy snacks will benefit everyone. Be firm about it and get them to help you find healthier substitutes.

Third thing I'd advocate for is consciously cutting down on the amount of ultra processed food you buy. It's a very easy way to improve your health (and your family's) and you'll almost certainly naturally reduce your calorie intake as you'll be substituting beige food with fresh produce.

I’m getting back on it tomorrow -

1. making a playlist so when I start walking daily from tomorrow, I’ll actually enjoy it.
2. not having loads of snacks and junk in the house (if it’s not in my cupboards or fridge, I can’t eat it!)
3. buying healthier foods- eggs, smoked salmon, cauliflower rice, gluten free seeded bread, chicken, fish, vegetables and soup.
4. starting a journal so that I can start processing my emotions instead of eating them.

I’m actually gutted as I seem to have been given an above average amount of sweet gifts this Christmas and I bloody determined to get my extra weight off this year !

@mrsbyers give the chocs to volunteers in charity shops near you. @FatFemale Weight Watchers is good and allows you to enjoy what you like and encourages you to eat healthier on account of the fact that a lot of the healthy foods have a lower points value. You can do it all online as long as you have your own scales.

Noom. The free trial will help you identify why you eat what you eat, why and when. It gives you daily lessons and tips to break those bad habits. It also lets you track calories. I then paid for four months and I lost 2 stone. That was two years ago and now I still use the free version to keep myself accountable with calories. But it completely reset my attitude to food and I no longer want to snack.

Can you just not buy the chocolates/other food you might binge on? Use something else as a reward-new book, socks, knickers. Size 18 is not enormous, work out the bmi you should be, although it’s a crap system, it at least gives you something to aim for.

A sleeve is quite drastic for someone who probably doesn’t have lots to lose. You need to find exercise that you like, for me, it’s badminton and swimming. Try something new weekly and see if you like it.

If you're going to get loose skin from weight loss, you'll get it no matter what method you use.

Saggy skin is a matter of genetics and skin type/composition

Eat less and move around more, it's more than discipline. You have to change your whole mindset about food. If you truly want to lose weight, you will, only you can make that change.

I have lost 6 stone, and kept it off for about 4 years. I completely cut out sugar & refuse to eat chocolate, which was and sometimes still is really difficult for me as I basically survived on chocolate. I saw the sugar as poison that will eventually harm my body in the long run.

It's trial and error, you need to train 5 days a week & count your calorie intake -safely lose like 2-3 lb a week. It's hard but the results are so worth it!

@FatFemale I was once quite overweight and I can tell you, you don't need sleeves, slimming world or silly crash diets.

Start educating yourself and investing in yourself. Make a lifestyle change that will last for years, not just until next Christmas.

Start making small changes - they will add up to a big one and a change of mindset. Forming healthy habits over the next year will help in the long run.

Start asking yourself these questions :

Do you know/understand much about food/nutrition? Proteins, carbs, good healthy fats?
Do you drink much water? Do you get much sleep at night?

These are the fundamentals you should get down first. Once you understand nutrition and how certain foods are going to make you feel - i.e. - you can eat a 1500 calorie diet but what that 1500 calorie diet looks like can make you feel drastically different depending on what the foods consist of.

Drinking 2-3 litres of water a day is recommended. Start with a smaller amount and build it up. Over time, water will become your go to (I was addicted to Fanta at one point - then I would sometimes opt for a bottle of water, and gradually over time my cravings for sugary drinks faded and water became my new craving).

Lots of sleep will obviously benefit you and how you feel.

I do a lot of strength training now, and fell in love with the gym so I maintain my body that way. But you don't need the gym for weight loss. I started off with a fitbit and slowly increased my steps - 2K, 5K, 10K. I also took my DD swimming once a week. Could you do the same with your kids? - I also recommend a home DVD programme if you want get out for long walks. The 30 day shred is a good one for beginners. It will kick start things for you.

And remember - losing 7 stone will take time. Don't beat yourself up if you have a bad day or whatever - just keep going. Don't rush weight loss - slow and steady wins the race.

Good luck!

I lost 7 kilos in less than 20 days just eating low carb and quitting added sugar..I still eats fruits .

I would advise against food restriction until the spring as we are in deep winter and the body knows it's in the food gap and will fight you.

I would advise gently introducing exercise - a variety to not get bored - focussing on eating more healthily, drinking more, fresh air and sunshine (assuming you can find any atm) and sleeping better.

Give yourself time as you didn't put the weight on overnight and be nice to your body. Treat yourself and have regular cheat days: as Marie Lloyd said, a little of what you fancy does you good. She wasn't wrong.

Do you have a dog? They are great motivators as need their walk and literally always up for one even several times a day!

Good luck with your mission

Beginning of last year, I weighed about 16 stone. I've lost over 3 stone in the last nine months, and am continuing to lose weight. I've been going to the gym, and been thinking about what I normally eat and cutting down on a couple of things (e.g. I used to have porridge or yoghurt for breakfast with a slice of toast, I've ditched the toast.) Similar for other meals, I've made small adjustments that I can keep up indefinitely. I still eat treats if I want to - the point is to eat less than I used to. I'll get myself a nice bar of chocolate when I go shopping, but that's to see me through the week so if it's all gone the next day, there's no more chocolate till next time I go shopping. I've not restricted what I eat over Christmas.

I am convinced that the key to weight loss is to pick a way that suits you. So think about what you can bear to give up or cut down on long term. Would something communal like Slimming World or Weight Watchers work for you, or do you just prefer to do things by yourself? Do you want to eat a bit less all the time or something like intermittent fasting (I tried intermittent fasting and had to give it up for the sake of all around me - I am horrible if I've not eaten!)? What exercise do you like to do and could fit into your life? There's no point trying to force yourself to do exercise you absolutely hate because you'll probably end up giving up. But even something fairly gentle that you enjoy and can find time for will be really beneficial if you can keep it going.

Obviously what exercise you enjoy depends on you but I used to absolutely love aquarobics (unfortunately the class I did never came back after COVID). I'd say it's worth a try if you can find a class that you can do.

Lots of people saying do this, that and the other OP but unless you are committed 100% to change all of the above is just words.

You need to make a decision and commit to change. Then work out how you plan on changing. Bottom line is a calorie deficit will work. You need to research and work out what that deficit needs to be to loose weight. Do a bit of exercise, even just more steps every day will help.

I did low carb , no alcohol and hypnosis.
Worked for me , but I have relapsed 😬

Definitely slimming world , it will fall of you in no time ! X

My numbers are almost identical to yours. I'm a binge eater. I find if I try to lose weight, food is all I can think about and I end up gaining. I'm exhausted all the time and I'm starting to lose opportunities to be active with my kids as too tired to keep up.

I've found an over eaters anon nearby and will go next year.
I borrowed a cookbook from library called something like "easy way to 10 a day." About getting 10 portions of fruit and veg - basically crowding out less healthy foods. It seems very sensible and realistic for me. I did an intense vegan, no sugar diet for a specific health reason in 2010. It was unsustainable but managed long enough to solve the issue which hasn't returned and I felt so full of energy I found it hard to not be active. (Then met my abusive ex and it went to pot!)
Also will walk after dropping kids to school.

I was 18 stone in September, and took the 'drastic' decision to have a mini gastric bypass, it has literally saved my life as I was so ill with diebetes, high blood pressure, sleep apnea etc. Just over 4 stone down, it's not the easy option most people think it is, it's a tool and I still have to work at it and excersise regularly.

I have lost just over 4 stone in two years. I guess I was a size 24 and am now a 20 (huge boobs, smaller hips) . I'm tall and 58.
I have tried every diet under the sun and have a nutrition qualification.
I gave up drinking but I see you don't drink OP.
What I have done is changed my portion size and taste buds.
I had therapy for six months and it made me realise I was punishing myself for an unhappy childhood. I also had some abuse which didn't happen when I was fat.
I was going to have a sleeve but I know three people who have had them, none successfully.
I ate because I could, do you know why you binge?
I love clothes and am looking forward to being a 16 by the end of 2024. I have health problems and have to take steroids on occasion. They put weight on me.
Try a 'eat for health' type meal plan. Fish, white meat, veg and fruit. Buy posh bread and leave the diet products on the shelf. They are full of E numbers. I eat full fat dairy too due to calcium needs. I lose two pound a month but I eat out and enjoy myself. Good luck.