Do mums smell bad?

[TheBeesKnee]

It's my first Christmas as a mum. I've received 5 bath/shower related gifts. Which is 3-4 more than usual.

How is it not thoughtless? No thought has been given about the recipient at all. Where is the thought? Buying some generic cheap tat is the complete opposite of thought. Thought would be something the recipient would like. Doesn't have to cost much. Thought is not saying 'here you go, have something I've put no thought into and have given to my not do important people.

I'm sure you wouldn't be moaning if it was Jo Malone or L'Occitane or Molton Brown. It's pure snobbery,

Can we normalise NOT being expected to be thankful for shit lazy thoughtlessly-chosen gifts? The saying ‘It’s the thought that counts’ doesn’t mean ‘Be grateful they remembered you exist and they feel obliged to give you something shite the grabbed in Boots’, it means ‘It doesn’t matter if a well-chosen thoughtful gift didn’t cost very much’ or at worst ‘If they tried to think of something you’d like but didn’t quite hit the mark, at least they made the effort.’

Exactly!
We had very little when I was growing up, I never knew this back then though because my parents did their very best to give me and my sister a great childhood, this is the reason why I appreciate even the smallest things, cheap, secondhand, handmade, whatever, I've always been very grateful for anything anyone has given me, that's why these type of threads hit a nerve.

My in-laws bought me a facial scrub of the type and brand I always use, because last time they visited they noticed I’d nearly run out. They also gave my husband the heads up so he wouldn’t get it for me. That’s a thoughtful toiletry gift.

I would! I've got a gift set of flipping L'Occitane hand creams languishing in a drawer from my last birthday. The person who gave them was clearly very kind and generous, and I was so grateful for the thought but equally by getting me a gift that they themselves would have loved, they wasted a great deal of money.

I've got quite sensitive skin and am very particular about scents so it wouldn't matter if it cost a fiver at Boots or was top of the range and cost a hundred pounds, I'd still be bemused and it would still go unused.

I get the cost argument but much of the time is it really cost? Is there not something in a similar price bracket that the recipient might actually use and enjoy?

I make my own bar soap & bath oil - so actually I'd feel the same, in that I wouldn't use shower gel or bath foam/soak etc as they make my skin dry & itchy.

I was quite grateful for what I received this year. The items that were things other than money/vouchers/chocolate were not ones that I have use for so will be thanked for and then donated.

I've been given so many smellies over the years and there is a limit to how much I can use. They aren't things I regularly use. Soap, deodorant and shampoo gets used daily but those aren't given. I too like Body Shop soaps.

I put thought into what I give. I don't spend much but look out for things throughout the year. I listen when someone says they like something and try to get it when it's on special offer.

One year a relative got pretty much the same from me and my sibling. I felt bad. Sibling is a crap 'generic gift' giver, and I'd not put enough thought into it, because it looked like a generic gift. It was nice enough and I liked it but the recipient was underwhelmed.

A cheapish bath set isn't cheap. The gift set I linked to earlier was £4.75.

I'd rather the giver spent the money on themself.

Me too, it's my form of self care. In the same way I'd probably gift them to a friend who I know likes baths to say here is an excuse for a lovely bath and a glass of wine and time to yourself. But it has to be your thing.

@Candycurrantbun I'm sure you wouldn't be moaning if it was Jo Malone or L'Occitane or Molton Brown. It's pure snobbery,

I like the L'Occitane stuff. I don't use hand cream so gave away the last set I was given.
The JM stuff isn't really my thing, I don't use scented candles or scent. I don't really 'get' MB - their handwash has SLS in so I wouldn't use it.

@WolfFoxHare , that sounds thoughtful. knowing my luck it would be something I was finding a real chore to use up

Skin conditions aside, shower gel is at least a useful item that doesn't contribute to a cluttered house. Even cheap stuff can come in handy when you go swimming or whatever. I don't understand how you would end up with that much of a backlog. On the other hand, adults who want sweets for a gift really baffle me.

I got 3 bottles of the same shower gel from 3 different people. (Partner, parents, sister) same as every year because they know I love it and they know I'm too tight to buy it for myself. I know that in amongst my other presents I will get a bottle of it for Mother's Day as well.

@ChrisPackhamsYellowFleece , a bottle of shower gel lasts me months. I use one of those net things. I prefer a bar of soap, so the shower gel gets used after the soap or I don't feel clean. Basically, I use it because it needs using up.
Some of the ones I have are quite luxurious and I might use them before going out or something.

I don't particularly want sweets, but if it was a box of Heros or something they'd get eaten eventually or they could be regifted/shared. I only eat sweets when a bit stressed.

I don't like receiving food and prefer nice soap. I don't see it 'you smell' i see it as practical self care, indulgent gifts.

I've received perfume and toiletries / beauty stuff. Granted I bought them to spoil myself with actual decent stuff I wanted this year from my Christmas bonus, I'm thrilled.

I'd hate a nice silk scarf or some fancy chocolates.

Good job we're all different eh?

Only the ones with shit partners

If it helps, we use bubble bath in.the liquid soap dispenser.
Saves us a bit of money and smells nice.
(Neither of us uses it otherwise because we use the shampoo as shower gel when we shower! )

I also dislike toiletries sets, but am grateful for the gift. I don't like bottles cluttering up my bathroom or bedroom and rarely use them. So I usually re-gift or give to charity. If the "re-giftee" doesn't like them either they can do the same.

It’s a sure sign that you’re marching into middle age! Love a bath set myself - although I recognise that the below ad I keep seeing on mumsnet is beyond lame. Some 25 year old marketer at John Lewis must think mums are unimaginably dull people if they think this is going to get click through.

Promoted by mumsnet
A Christmas Eve Bath can be a great tradition

Just pop them down the food bank then OP, if they're unwanted, or to a womens shelter who will happily take them. Not the end of the world.

It's not snobbery. Jo Molone et al is luxury. It's stuff you wouldn't buy yourself so of course people would love it. It like suggesting people who would love to be given a pair of louboutins are just snobs for saying they don't want some own brand flip flops from Asda.

Buying someone a luxury item they wouldn't buy themselves suggest thought has gone into it. Buying someone a 3 for 2 of a brand they don't like is just saying you don't care.

And it's not the money. I would rather have a £5 pot plant than a cheap body product with synthetic fragrance that strips the skin of all its oils. May as well buy a bottle of fairy.

I think it's a fairly easy generic gift- I get given a few each year, I think people choose smelliest rather than chocolates for me as they assume I am (or should be) dieting so don't want to tempt me with chocolates.

DH bought me lots of thoughtful gifts but bought me some Chanel Number 19 and he apologised that it didn't get delivered yet. It's arriving on the 28th. I don't mind because he got me lots of other lovely things.

I would be I just don't like these bath sets I like to pick my own smellies. I like a bar of handmade vanilla soap. I'd just donate any of the brands you mention to my local food bank if I was gifted them.