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Original poster

Us dp taking the piss

65 replies

Windmill34 · 25/12/2023 14:15

Around 11am do day he announcing
“ what time Can I go and see mum “ I’ll only stay 30 mins and get back as I feel guilty leaving you to it “
mum lives 40 mins drive away in care home
so he would if got there 12.10pm

I know he’s messaged his sister to ask her what time she is going (they both call each other and don’t really speak)

it’s now 2.15 pm and he’s not back !
im getting angry by the minute

Tomorrow he’s announced he’s going to tennis which will be 3 hrs

He can be a selfish git at times
good job there’s no kids

OP posts:
MissBuffyAnneSummers · 25/12/2023 15:24

One day you might be in a care home.

Think about that.

There is someone who is selfish but it's not your DP.

SuperbOwls · 25/12/2023 15:25

Is there going to be some ridiculous drip feed here? Like you've got 15 people round for lunch and you're all hungrily waiting until he gets back to eat??

Because otherwise I can't really see the objection

Hyppogriff · 25/12/2023 15:28

You sound awful

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Dementia & alzheimer's
AuntMarch · 25/12/2023 15:30

I assumed you were annoyed trying to cook and entertain kids.... what actually is the problem?

As476 · 25/12/2023 15:33

If I was able to drive this time last year I’d have been at my Nans and left DP and kids at home. If only I’d known it was going to be her last. You’re the selfish git OP.

SmudgeButt · 25/12/2023 15:35

He sounds annoyingly disorganised to me.

Pigeonqueen · 25/12/2023 15:39

If you don’t have kids and it’s just the two of you (?) does it really matter? Sounds like you’ll still have tons of time together. You are being unreasonable.

SequentialAnalyst · 25/12/2023 15:39

"I’ll only stay 30 mins and get back as I feel guilty leaving you to it “

The timing of his departure sounds as if it's designed to get him out of helping you cook the meal. And the words sound like he knows what he's doing and is trying to absolve himself from blame by claiming pre-emptive guilt.

PickAChew · 25/12/2023 15:40

Goodlard · 25/12/2023 14:47

The problem is visiting your DM in a care home, you need to consider how she will feel, how much longer she'll be around......

I mean dinner being later is hardly an issue!

Maybe when OPs in a care home she may feel differently?

Show quote history

And how does any of this stop him from saying.to OP, far more than 10 minutes in advance, "I'll be out for a few hours visiting mum on Christmas day, around lunchtime"?

It's just basic communication that costs nothing.

Goodlard · 25/12/2023 15:43

@PickAChew and do you think that the intended it to be a swift visit, but then changed his mind?

MandyMotherOfBrian · 25/12/2023 15:46

There’s a lot of threads on here today detailing totally twatish selfish behaviour (that no one should have to put up with).

But going to see your Mum, in a care home, on Christmas Day, isn’t one of them.

Goodlard · 25/12/2023 15:47

@PickAChew I think you'll find that OP dislikes all his family.......

Doesn't like him being friendly with them!

Holly60 · 25/12/2023 15:57

Why on earth did you not go with him?

Also why would you not have had the conversation ages ago? If my DH's mum had been in a care home I'd have assumed he'd be visiting her (he is a good person and a thoughtful son after all) and would have asked when he was planning on doing that.

I wouldn't (as I'm guessing you did) keep quiet in the hope that he'd forget to visit his elderly mum in a care home.

Thegoodbadandugly · 25/12/2023 15:58

Poor guy, could be his mother's last Christmas, it always amazes me how selfish some people are!

ItAintGonnaGoDownEasyIfItAintCheezy · 25/12/2023 16:05

Wow.

IncompleteSenten · 25/12/2023 16:11

Honestly sounds fine to me.
He was with you this morning, he's spending a bit of time with his mum, he'll be back with you later then tomorrow he'll presumably be with you half the day and play a few hours of tennis.
It sounds like a good balance to me.
What would your ideal be?

Sugarsun · 25/12/2023 16:15

Him seeing his mum on Xmas day is literally the opposite of selfish.

You don’t need to be tied at the hip.

Are you not seeing your family?

Sugarsun · 25/12/2023 16:16

I also don’t understand why he’s asking you what time he’s allowed to go.
He’s an adult.

ThisOldThang · 25/12/2023 16:35

Why did you assume he wouldn't go to see his mother, in a care home, on Christmas Day?

You're horrific.

therealcookiemonster · 25/12/2023 16:41

I don't understand why you didn't go with him or try and bring her home just for the day on day release if possible?

unless there is some massive backstop

and yes, he is allowed to also play tennis on boxing day

Jacfrost · 25/12/2023 16:46

Poor bloke tiptoeing around asking what time he can visit his mum. I'm not surprised he didn't arrange it beforehand, he probably didn't want you guilt tripping him into not going

FreebieWallopFridge · 25/12/2023 16:50

How has this only come up today? I doubt she’s just gone into a home - you must have thought he’d want to visit her on Christmas Day?

Absolutely he should mentioned it before today, but tbh this is the kind of thing that’s pretty much a given, where the assumption (for people who aren’t spectacularly self-centred) is that such a visit will happen. If he didn’t mention it, you should have.

But yes, what a selfish arse he is, wanting to see his mother on Christmas Day.

YouJustDoYou · 25/12/2023 16:54

What the fuck? His mum is in a care home!!! YOU'RE the selfish one!

YouJustDoYou · 25/12/2023 16:54

Poor guy. You're awful.

YouJustDoYou · 25/12/2023 16:55

You don't even have kids! WTF is wrong with you? You have no heart.